Tuesday, October 23, 2018


It's been quite a while since I wrote an LDS Hymn Parody.  But because the "Mormon Church" seems to be a bottomless pit of inspiration, it was only a matter of time before something they did or said elicited some new ideas for me.  So when Russell M. Nelson (Rusty, the current profit) revealed this supposed commandment from the Lord banning these evil nicknames, my mind started churning out my latest LDS Hymn Parody, "Please Don't Call Us Mormons."

The fact that it has been decided that calling them Mormons is directly from Satan is interesting all by itself.  As this CNN article points out, what about the "I'm a Mormon" campaign?  Was it a horrible thing then to call them Mormons?  And what about their websites - Mormon.org and LDS.org?  Also, what about institutions with LDS in their names, like LDS Business College or the LDS Hospital, both located in SLC?  The list goes on and on with references to the names Mormon and LDS that have been put out there by the church itself.

It never ceases to amaze me what passes as "important" in the Mormon Church (and yes, I am going to continue to call my former life-long religion by the forbidden name).  Abolishing formerly used "nicknames" has become their latest crusade despite the fact that there are so many urgent issues going on in the world.  Apparently the Lord (and/or Rusty) thinks the rebranding of the church is of utmost importance - much more important than confronting allegations of sexual abuse by "priesthood" leaders, children being forced to participate in private interviews during which they are asked inappropriate questions about sexual matters, the need for humanitarianism efforts for starving people around the world, the use of tithing money for building shopping malls, the fact that people are leaving the church in droves (probably due to the fact that there is so much information about the Mormon Church online - just Google it), and so on.

Apparently the Mormon Church has attempted to ban its nicknames before this.  According to this CNN article, similar efforts were made in 1982, 2001 and 2011.  Interesting that I don't recall this since I was still an active member of the Mormon Church in 1982 and in 2001.  But since I left the church in 2004, by the time 2011 rolled around, I had already been out of the church for seven glorious years.

But this time they seem very serious, particularly since they have already renamed the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, which is now officially The Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square.  But whether Rusty came up with this current campaign all on his own or whether it really came from the Lord is debatable.  One thing is clear, though - the whole thing is ridiculous, and the fact that they want to be taken serious is also ridiculous.

Here is my favorite pic of Rusty (and his lovely wife)... after all, the man needs a little humor and levity.

SO ANYWAY... here is my 128th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the silliness that is "Mormonism."

Sung to the tune of How Firm a Foundation - #85

1.  Please don’t call us Mormons, an edict from the Lord,
Or maybe from Rusty who must not be ignored.
What more can we say than to you we have said?
Please don’t call us Mormons, please don’t call us Mormons,
Please don’t call us Mormons, just call us Saints instead.

2.  And while we are at it, don’t call us LDS,
We are Latter Day Saints, and that we have to stress.
The name we are called is our focus right now,
Although it seems silly, although it seems silly,
Ignoring this dictum the church cannot allow.

3.  These nicknames upset us, and they offend the Lord.
They came straight from Satan, and so they are abhorred.
So say we are members of God's church on earth,
And we will be happy, and we will be happy,
And we will be happy, for whatever that's worth.

4.  There’s one other mandate you must remember, too,
The word “Mormonism” is also now taboo.
Calling our doctrine "Mormonism" must end.
This need for rebranding, this need for rebranding,
This need for rebranding, we refuse to defend.

5.  And so say the Mormons, revealing God’s command,
The use of the “M word” is now completely banned.
But using a new name does not change the past,
The church is still bogus, the church is still bogus,
The church is still bogus, the final die is cast.

6.  A pig is still a pig even with lipstick on,
And when the sun goes down, we know there’ll be a dawn.
There are certain things that you simply can’t change,
So not saying Mormons, so not saying Mormons,
So not saying Mormons does not make them less strange.

© Diane Tingen

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

DON'T YOU DARE BAIL - LDS Hymn Parody #127

The leaders of the Mormon Church never cease to amaze me with the ammo they continue to give to those who have left Mormonism.  The newest example of this is a speech given by Jeffrey R. Holland at a Tempe Arizona Devotional on April 26,2016.  In that speech, he said, "Don’t you dare bail.  I am so furious with people who leave this church.  I don’t know whether 'furious' is a good apostolic word.  But I am.  What on earth kind of conviction is that?  What kind of patty-cake, taffy-pull experience is that? As if none of this ever mattered, as if nothing in our contemporary life matters, as if this is all just supposed to be 'just exactly the way I want it and answer every one of my questions and pursue this and occupy that and defy this - and then maybe I'll be a Latter-Day Saint?!' Well, there's too much Irish in me for that."

And then he finished his rant by saying, "This church means everything to me!  Everything! I don't care what happens.  I don't care what price is to be paid.  As painful as that can be ans as much as I don't want to invite the test, as much as I don't want to sound arrogant or self-confident or filled with any kind of price other than the love of the Lord, this church means everything to me, and I'm not going to leave it, and I'm not going to let you leave it."  Whoa... I'm not going to let you leave it?!!  Cult much??  

Of course, memes and comments about his speech have hit the Ex-Mormon groups on Facebook like a thunderstorm (like the ones I've included here).  There's even a post on You Tube called Angry Holland about this rant.  It's all been very entertaining.  

Another outgrowth of his speech is that I immediately starting writing an LDS hymn parody in my mind (as I've said on here before, "Because they make it so easy!!").  Of course, sometimes these LDS hymn parodies write themselves, and this was one of those.

So here's my 127th LDS hymn parody, dedicated to Jeffrey R. Holland for the entertainment value... because he always knows just what to say. 

Sung to the tune of True to the Faith – #254

1. When you’re faced with many questions
And it seems to not make sense,
Will you bail on Mormonism
Even though there’s no defense?  No!!

Don’t you dare bail on the Mormon religion,
Though you can see that it’s full of deception.
No patty cake, that’s a mistake,
No taffy pulling, for goodness sake!!

2. Though we know that it’s a shit show,
And the lies are obvious,
Will you bail on Mormonism
And make Holland furious?  No!!

Don’t you dare bail on the Mormon religion,
Though you can see that it’s full of deception.
No patty cake, that’s a mistake,
No taffy pulling, for goodness sake!!

3. While we know the sordid history
And how silly it can sound,
Will we stand by our convictions,
And not patty-cake around?  Yes!!

Don’t you dare bail on the Mormon religion,
Though you can see that it’s full of deception.
No patty cake, that’s a mistake,
No taffy pulling, for goodness sake!!

4. When we hear from Jeffrey Holland
As he spews his words of fear,
What on earth would make us doubt it?
After all, it’s all so clear.  NOT!!

And so I bailed on the Mormon religion,
Mainly because it is full of deception.
Leave me alone, don't even phone,
I am no longer a Mormon clone!!

© Diane Tingen, 5/4/2016

Monday, April 4, 2016


Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - the 126th I've written.  Of course, this new parody adheres to the general theme of this blog, which is that Mormonism is replete with lies and deception. What's more is that it is very obvious to me that they do not really care about "THE TRUTH."

Facts?  What are those?  Evidence?  Says who?
If we say it's "TRUE," then it's TRUE!!! 

So many members of the Mormon Church hide their heads in the sand, believing what they are told, and not doing any independent research to find out otherwise.  I know because I did the same thing.  Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I just went along for 52 years.  I did question things now and then, but I would just put my doubts on a shelf and trudge forward.  But you can only put so much on a shelf until it starts to crumble, and my shelf finally did that after I began to research on my own - first about Mormon Church History, and then when I realized just how sordid it is, other topics as well.  Finally it became blatantly obvious to me that the whole thing is just a scam, created by Joseph Smith for his own purposes and perpetuated by many others ever since.

So yes, I truly believe that Truth Means Nothing to the Mormon Church.  Its members are supposed to "just believe" and "doubt their doubts."  What they're not supposed to do is what I did - engage in independent research because that's when their lies and deception are exposed.  And naturally, the Mormon Church strongly discourages (prohibits) search on the internet, and of course Google is not a friend to Mormonism.

Sung to the tune of Truth Eternal - #4

Truth means nothing, never did,
Lies are covered up and hid.
Mormonism, pure deceit,
False pretense, with lies replete.

All the facts and evidence
Show the lies, there’s no defense.
All made up, so very clear,
By the prophet they revere.

Joseph Smith, a charlatan,
Clever man, the tale he spun
Now lives on despite the lies,
Bogus doctrine in disguise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/4/2016

Wednesday, January 27, 2016


Yes, this is the question I ask myself all the time.  Just how clueless can Mormons be to "just believe" without using any type of critical thinking whatsoever? So many of them are very intelligent people, and although they use critical thinking in other areas of their lives, they refuse to do so with their religion.  Why is that?  It makes no sense to me at all.

Of course, I remember being that way.
I was once a TBM - so yes, I was once clueless as well.  But I remedied that situation and finally paid attention to the red flags that were springing up everywhere.  All anyone really needs to do is go on Google and search for "Mormon Church History," because all kinds of troubling information comes up.  That was the springboard for me--studying Mormon Church History with all its sordid details. Realizing the truth behind the facade was my biggest AHA moment - the trigger that I needed to finally awaken to reality.  The truth about polygamy was just the tip of the iceberg (as was polyandry, when I finally discovered that little tidbit of information). Obviously, that's true for a lot of TBMs 
who either don't know or refuse to accept all the actual facts associated with that subject, which is pointed out in the below article... "incredulous" indeed.

Interesting reading - post from "Times & Seasons"

Of course, there are many subjects that TBMs are clueless about, and they really should go on websites like the below one which contains a lot of great information about the realities behind the "Mormon Curtain."

Mormon Think website
But thankfully, like my latest LDS hymn parody says, "But some do get away, can see that it's a fraud..."  And that's what I continue to hope for--that many, many more TBMs will awaken to the reality that the religion they are adhering to is a fraud and opt to leave it all behind.


How clueless can they be?
How can they just believe?
They’re told to just accept it all,
Why are they so naïve?

Beneath the watchful eye
Of old men in Salt Lake,
The Mormon Church just shovels shit,
Aware that it’s all fake.

The members go along
With everything they’re told,
They’re even told to doubt their doubts,
So easily controlled.

But some do get away,
Can see that it’s a fraud.
And while they waded through the crap,
Demolished the façade.

And so the Mormon Church
With its apparent lies,
Can kiss my ass a thousand times
Since I’ve said my goodbyes.

Diane Tingen, 1/27/2016

Thursday, December 31, 2015


There's a few blogs that I follow in the ExMormon online community, and one of them is Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta who always has great insights, satirical and otherwise, into all things ExMormon). Earlier this year, Donna posted a two-part series of blog entries entitled, Why ExMormons Won't Leave the Church Alone.  What she said in those blog entries triggered my writing of Why Can't You Just Leave the Church Alone? (which was my 121st LDS Hymn Parody).  Now, again, a blog entry posted on Ward Gossip on December 19, 2015 has prompted me to write another LDS Hymn Parody.  That blog entry was entitled The Crazy Talk Gets Even Crazier - and that is so true!!  Just when you think it can't get crazier, it does. Mormons continue to blindly accept whatever they are told and will defend it even though what they are saying makes absolutely no sense. But even pointing that out doesn't do any good; they are so convinced of its "truth" that they seem comfortable in their ignorance.  When asked to simply exploration the possibility that what they are saying might not be true, they scoff and dig their heels in even harder.

What's sad is that I remember having that mindset.  When I was a devout Mormon, no one could convince me that it wasn't actually true.  Although I did have issues with certain aspects of Mormonism from an early age (which I put on my imaginary shelf), I nevertheless accepted it as the gospel truth and told myself that I just needed to be more humble; and that I also needed to pray more and read the scriptures more so I would be worthy to understand it all.  But even though I did those things, the issues I had remained, making me feel not only unworthy but also frustrated and extremely inadequate.  I look back on those times with complete disdain because I now know that I was chasing an elusive goal.

Amidst my questioning, as my imaginary shelf became more and more crowded with more and more issues until it was close to tumbling down, I finally did some research into Mormon Church History.  In doing so, I began to realize that Mormonism is simply not true. In time, I came to the conclusion that it is a completely bogus religion - and looking at it now, I ask myself how I could have accepted it for so long.  But then, hindsight is 20/20 and kicking yourself for past mindsets is futile.

So here is my 124th LDS Hymn Parody.  The crazy talk does keep getting crazier, but thank goodness I finally walked away and am no longer caught up in the ridiculous Mormon mindset (a/k/a denial) that made me think it wasn't crazy at all.


1. The crazy talk gets crazier
As Mormons skirt the lies.
They will not see, it’s all a blur,
Deception in disguise.
They speak of truth yet just ignore
Whatever doesn’t fit.
It’s fraudulent right to its core,
A total pile of shit.

2. They say to simply doubt your doubts,
And cling to what they say.
But that is hard to figure out
Since facts get in the way.
There’s clearly lots of evidence
To prove deception deep,
But since they don’t use common sense,
They’ve all turned into sheep.

3. When questioning its truthfulness,
I finally saw the lies.
And now I see that it’s BS,
For truth, no compromise.
Deceit the Mormons try to spin
To camouflage the lies.
So obvious from deep within,
No matter its disguise.

4. Now due to my awakening,
I’m Mormonism free.
No longer to its lies I cling,
And I am finally ME.
The crazy talk gets crazier
With every passing day,
But now it’s gotten easier
To simply look away.

© Diane Tingen, 12/31/2015

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


Ah yes, the "Web of Lies They Spin."  And what a tangled web it is!!  Cover-up, whitewash, deny... 
all in a day's work for the Mormon Church.

In looking back at my days as an active Mormon (which took up 52 years of my life!!), I'm mortified by how long they were able to pull the wool over my eyes.  It wasn't until the Summer of 2001 when I went on a Mormon Church History Tour that I began to see the real truth.  Before going, I decided to do some reading and research so I would know more when we visited the key places - something I had never done before so I didn't know a lot about Mormon Church History.  And what an eye-opener that was!!  After discovering the very sordid history of the Mormon Church, it wasn't long before I realized that the whole thing is built on a stack of lies, made up from the get-go by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and has been perpetuated over the years by other men for their own purposes. Those purposes, in my opinion, were/are to gain power and control over people in order to get as much of their money as they can.

Having been born and raised Mormon, I grew up believing what I was told, convinced that my parents would not lie to me and only wanted what was best for me.  Of course, they were both very TBM.  My mother was Relief Society President was I was a teenager, and stayed very active in the Mormon Church until the day she passed away at 64 years old (after having spent the morning at the Stake Center organizing the library).  But she wasn't as bad as my father, at least in my eyes.  My father was very pious and dogmatic about the whole thing.  He lived to be 92 years old and passed away in 2006, two years after I left the Mormon Church, but I never told him I had left because I knew he would preach "fire and brimstone" to me and I didn't want to hear what I knew he would say. Looking back, I still think I made the right decision because my "apostasy" probably would have irreparably damaged our relationship.

I have come to terms with the fact that I spent well over half my life in a bogus religion. What fascinates me now is how many very intelligent people there are who apparently still buy into Mormonism, and although they use critical thinking in other areas of their lives, they either cannot or will not use it when it comes to their religion.  I find that not only fascinating, but very sad.

So here is my 123rd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the tangled web of lies they spin...
and spin... and spin... and spin...


1. When in the depths of questioning,
Deceit apparent from within,
And in my full awakening,
I saw the web of lies they spin.

2. The Mormon Church is fraudulent,
A stack of lies, to my chagrin.
Distressed at all the years I spent
When clear the web of lies they spin.

3. For years, I just denied the lies,
I stuffed it down, just kept it in,
But research made me realize
The tangled web of lies they spin.

4. They cover-up and say it’s true
As they skate by on ice so thin
That I knew I must say adieu
Since clear the web of lies they spin.

© Diane Tingen, 12/29/2015

Saturday, December 12, 2015

IT IS NOT TRUE - LDS Hymn Parody #122

Here is my 122nd LDS Hymn Parody - and in keeping with the main theme of this blog, this one is entitled, "IT IS NOT TRUE." Looking back at my 52 years as a member of the Mormon Church, it still amazes me that I stayed for so long.  After all, I always had problems with some of the attitudes that are so prevalent within the Mormon Church, such as the obvious misogyny.  But naturally, I stuffed it down, telling myself that I just needed to be more humble.  You know, the old "if you pray more, study the scriptures more, attend church meetings more" ramble.  If I did all that, then I would gain more of the spirit and would better understand my place in the eternal scheme of things.  Of course, I also had problems with certain doctrines (such as polygamy), but whenever something like that came along, I just put it on my shelf and tried to ignore my doubts.

So I struggled for many years, stuffing certain things down and putting other things on my imaginary shelf.  It wasn't until I went on a Mormon Church History tour in the Summer of 2001, and decided to study church history so I would know more when we visited the key places that I began to realize that my lifelong religion is replete with sordid history. The problem was that the more I studied and researched, the more I began to see that Mormonism is also replete with bogus doctrine.  In reality, it is a complete fraud, very obviously made up by Joseph Smith (a shyster and charlatan), and perpetuated by many others since his death.

Arriving at the conclusion that IT IS NOT TRUE was not easy.  But relieving myself of the cognitive dissonance that I had been dealing with for so many years was very freeing - and living an authentic life for the past 10 years has been its own reward.  I'm so thankful to say that I am happier now than I have ever been.  A long road - but definitely worth it!!

So here is my newest LDS hymn parody.  Since the music for this hymn is not in the LDS Music Playlist (due to copyright considerations), I attached a video that I found on YouTube - this is a "rockin' version" of How Great Thou Art, which I think it much better than the other versions I found, most of which are way too schmaltzy (at least for my taste).

Sung to the tune of How Great Thou Art – #86

When I began
To question Mormon doctrine,
Consider all the things
That made no sense.
I saw the flaws,
I read the sordid history,
The lies throughout
For which there’s no defense.

Within my soul,
I knew without a doubt,
It is not true,
It is not true.

Within my soul,
I knew without a doubt,
It is not true.
It is not true.

And so I left,
I closed the door completely,
Just walked away
And left it all behind.
The Mormon Church,
Replete with pure deception,
So clear to me,
I am no longer blind.

Within my soul,
I know without a doubt,
It is not true,
It is not true.

Within my soul,
I know without a doubt,
It is not true.
It is not true.

© Diane Tingen, 11/10/2015

Monday, September 28, 2015


Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 121st.  This one is dedicated to all those TBMs out there who just can't understand why people who leave the Mormon Church just can't seem to leave it alone.

This subject was recently delved into on one of my favorite Ex-Mormon blogs, Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta).  She covered this topic in two posts - Why Ex-Mormons Won't Leave the Church Alone, Parts 1 and 2.  In those posts, Donna brought out the two basic reasons why so many Ex-Mormons won't (can't?) leave the church alone:

Reason #1:  Because the church doesn't leave us alone.

In her first blog post, Donna cited the below:

  • Mormon missionaries travel worldwide, knocking on doors and sharing their message.
  • Members are encouraged to share the gospel with their neighbors and friends, also to reconvert "inactives," even when the so-called "inactive" has made it clear that he or she is no longer interested in attending.
  • The church springs for in-your-face advertising: TV commercials, billboard, even a feature length film.
  • Mormon temples and historical sites boast attractive, well-manned visitors' centers.
  • They have a big choir that regularly tours and records.
  • High profile Mormons in business, politics and the entertainment industry publicly embrace the faith.  In 2012 one even ran for president.
  • The Mormon Church has encouraged/pressured its members to vote for and donate money to political causes that impose its narrow values on society at large.  For example, the extreme liquor laws in Utah, the successful opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment in the late 70's and early 80's, various gambling initiatives, and perhaps most notoriously, the successful passage of Proposition 8 that banned gay marriage in California back in 2008.

Reason #2:  Because being Mormon was an integral part of our life experience.

In Part 2, Donna's post included the below:
Five years ago I dedicated a post to my husband, Mark.  It was a brief bio that outlined his happy Mormon childhood, his fond mission memories, our courtship at BYU, etc.  Then I went on to quickly explain why we eventually decided to leave Mormonism.
Minutes after the post published, I received a person message from an old friend who scolded me for being negative about the church, called me a liar, and suggested that "people like me" should "just leave" and never talk about the church again.
Excuse me?  Never talked about this overwhelming experience that dominated our formative years and consumed over two decades of our lives?  Forget "why"?  How, exactly, does one do that?

Yes, how does one do that???... especially someone like me who was Mormon for FIVE DECADES OF MY LIFE??!!!

Very good outline of the reasons - I totally agree with all that Donna posted.

For me, though, there are a couple more reasons:

Reason #3:  The Mormon Church stifled me for far too long, and now that I've found my own voice, I must speak out.
As any Mormon or former Mormon knows, the Mormon Church attempts to stifle anyone who has a differing opinion from the accepted viewpoint.  Oh, you can question things, but as soon as you are given the "Mormon-approved answer," your questions are supposed to stop and you are supposed to simply accept whatever you are told.  Critical thinking of any kind is completely discouraged, if not prohibited.  This is what leads so many Mormons to push down their real feelings and put their issues on imaginary shelves, many of which finally tumble after too many years of performing that futile exercise.
So since having broken that horrible cycle and having found my own voice, no one is going to keep me quiet about my findings.  Naturally, the Mormon Church would prefer that those who leave the church would do so quietly and keep their findings and opinions to themselves - but I, for one, refuse to do that.

Reason #4:  Because unless people talk about what they've discovered, it won't do anyone else any good.
That's why I created this blog and why I post on it regularly.  It is my avenue for getting the word out... that the Mormon Church is a total and complete fraud that, in my opinion, was made by from the get-go by Joseph Smith and has been perpetuated ever since by many others (for their own purposes).  If I can reach only one person through my blog who is investigating or questioning Mormonism, then I'll feel like it's all been worth it.

And now, here is my 121st LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to all those TBMs who as that ridiculous question...


1. Why can’t you just leave the church alone?
Why do you just keep on bashing
What the Mormon Church is teaching?
Why can’t you just leave the church alone?

Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Mormon Church do not besmirch.
Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Why can’t you just leave the church alone?

2. Why should I just leave the church alone?
Why should I not share my findings
And so many of its failings?
Why should I just leave the church alone?

Speaking out, speaking out,
Speaking out, that is my route.
Speaking out, speaking out,
Why should I just leave the church alone?

3. Why should I just leave the church alone?
I won’t let them crush my spirit
Or just stick me in the closet!!
No, I’ll never leave the church alone.

Full of lies, full of lies,
Full of lies, there’s no disguise.
Full of lies, full of lies,
That’s why I won’t leave the church alone.

© Diane Tingen, 9/28/2015

Thursday, September 24, 2015

A STACK OF LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #120

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 120th.  
This parody is to a song in the LDS Children's Songbook that I always really liked - very melodic.  Back in my Mormon days, I was Primary Chorister and Pianist, and this is a song that I liked to sing and play.  Within the lyrics of the original song, it says, "What does the Father ask of us?  What do the scriptures say?  Have faith, have hope, live like his Son, help others on their way. What does he ask?  Live like his Son."  Obviously, not bad advice.  

But, of course, when I looked at this song from my current ExMormon perspective, the parody became an entirely different song and the end result highlights the "stack of lies" that are, in  my opinion, at the very core of Mormonism.

The main thrust of this parody is that the Mormon Church is built on a stack of lies, and although TBMs have obviously been brainwashed into "just believing," the internet and Google are not available to help a person find the truth - and when a person does find the truth, the key to realizing what the real truth is found in thinking for yourself.  Critical thinking - analyzing all aspects of the subject matter and applying logic to it.  If a person does that, then he/she will know what's true and what isn't.  Plain and simple.


What does the Mormon Church hold out as truth beyond compare?
A stack of lies, so fraudulent, deception everywhere.
How could the Mormon Church profess to be the Word of God?
It is not true, that’s very clear – it’s fake and just a fraud.
Why do the members of the church believe that it is true?
They have been brainwashed very well, they haven’t got a clue.
But now we have the Internet, and what does Google say?
Just find the truth, think for yourself, and simply walk away.
What does it say?  Think for yourself.

© Diane Tingen, 9/24/2015