THE WEB OF LIES THEY SPIN - LDS Hymn Parody #123

Ah yes, the "Web of Lies They Spin."  And what a tangled web it is!!  Cover-up, whitewash, deny... 
all in a day's work for the Mormon Church.

In looking back at my days as an active Mormon (which took up 52 years of my life!!), I'm mortified by how long they were able to pull the wool over my eyes.  It wasn't until the Summer of 2001 when I went on a Mormon Church History Tour that I began to see the real truth.  Before going, I decided to do some reading and research so I would know more when we visited the key places - something I had never done before so I didn't know a lot about Mormon Church History.  And what an eye-opener that was!!  After discovering the very sordid history of the Mormon Church, it wasn't long before I realized that the whole thing is built on a stack of lies, made up from the get-go by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and has been perpetuated over the years by other men for their own purposes. Those purposes, in my opinion, were/are to gain power and control over people in order to get as much of their money as they can.

Having been born and raised Mormon, I grew up believing what I was told, convinced that my parents would not lie to me and only wanted what was best for me.  Of course, they were both very TBM.  My mother was Relief Society President was I was a teenager, and stayed very active in the Mormon Church until the day she passed away at 64 years old (after having spent the morning at the Stake Center organizing the library).  But she wasn't as bad as my father, at least in my eyes.  My father was very pious and dogmatic about the whole thing.  He lived to be 92 years old and passed away in 2006, two years after I left the Mormon Church, but I never told him I had left because I knew he would preach "fire and brimstone" to me and I didn't want to hear what I knew he would say. Looking back, I still think I made the right decision because my "apostasy" probably would have irreparably damaged our relationship.

I have come to terms with the fact that I spent well over half my life in a bogus religion. What fascinates me now is how many very intelligent people there are who apparently still buy into Mormonism, and although they use critical thinking in other areas of their lives, they either cannot or will not use it when it comes to their religion.  I find that not only fascinating, but very sad.

So here is my 123rd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the tangled web of lies they spin...
and spin... and spin... and spin...

THE WEB OF LIES THEY SPIN

Sung to the tune of Thy Will, O Lord, Be Done – #188

1. When in the depths of questioning,
Deceit apparent from within,
And in my full awakening,
I saw the web of lies they spin.

2. The Mormon Church is fraudulent,
A stack of lies, to my chagrin.
Distressed at all the years I spent
When clear the web of lies they spin.

3. For years, I just denied the lies,
I stuffed it down, just kept it in,
But research made me realize
The tangled web of lies they spin.

4. They cover-up and say it’s true
As they skate by on ice so thin
That I knew I must say adieu
Since clear the web of lies they spin.

© Diane Tingen, 12/29/2015

STUCK IN DENIAL - LDS Hymn Parody #116

Looking back, I am amazed at how long I hung in there, even when all the signs were pointing to the fact that the teachings and doctrines of the Mormon Church are completely bogus.  Of course, a large part of the reason for me adopting that stance was the Mormon Church's mantra that basically tells its members that if they are doubting certain teachings and doctrines of Mormonism, they need to be more humble, pray more, read the scriptures more, and attend church more - and then whatever doubts they are having will disappear.  In other words, you are the problem, not Mormonism.

Of course, this warped logic is pounded into every member's head, either consciously or subconsciously, to the point where their brains decide that going along is better than the alternatives.  And so they become STUCK IN DENIAL, grasping at straws and sticking their hands in the sand in order to avoid actually confronting the inherent problem, which is that upon actual examination, it becomes apparent that Mormonism is a total fraud.

One of the places where this Mormon mantra has been captured in scriptural terms via the Book of Mormon is in Moroni 10: 4-5, which says: 

4. And when we shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 

So right there, in scriptural form, everyone is told exactly how it is, in no uncertain terms.  Basically what this scripture is telling us is that if we do not get the manifestation that "these things are true," then it is because (1) we didn't ask with a sincere heart; (2) didn't have real intent; or (3) don't have sufficient faith in Christ.  Of course, this philosophy has parlayed itself into all things Mormon, and not just the Book of Mormon itself. 

Being "Stuck in Denial" is not a pleasant place to be. Denial certainly isn't productive.  Someone who is in denial basically accepts things as they are presented without delving into any foundation, background or basis for those teachings.  They accept whatever explanation is given - or not given - as the gospel truth.  They dare not scratch the surface to reveal anything underneath.  And they naively believe that those telling them "how it is" have no ulterior motives. 

When I finally extricated myself from the grasp of denial, I realized that I had been blindly following a bogus religion for my entire life. Not an easy thing to admit. When I finally was able to muster the strength to actually leave Mormonism behind, I finally felt free not only from the exhausting mental gymnastics I had been playing for so long but from the grasp of DENIAL itself.

So here is my 116th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the state of DENIAL in which every Mormon has to dwell in order to continue to accept the obviously bogus tenets of Mormonism.  

STUCK IN DENIAL

Sung to the tune of Faith of Our Fathers – #84

1. Stuck in denial, clinging still

In spite of signals, proof and fact.
Oh, how their minds reject details
When with the truth they interact.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

2. Stuck in denial, nothing learned
When just believing what they say.
And through the truth, you will be free
From all the games the Mormons play.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

3. Stuck in denial nevermore,
Finally saw through the web of lies.
So many years, just went along,
But now there is no compromise.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

© Diane Tingen

7/16/2015

DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS - LDS Hymn Parody #106

It's been a few months since I've written an LDS Hymn Parody, but this morning I woke up with this one in my head.  What's interesting about these hymn parodies is that once an idea enters my brain, they practically write themselves.  And of course, I have to thank the Mormon Church for putting their hymnal online (complete with audible music) because this aids me immeasurably in the writing of these LDS Hymn Parodies.

My newest LDS Hymn Parody is based on the talk entitled, Come, Join with Us, given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf at the LDS General Conference in October 2013.  Of course, as we all know, Dieter Uchtdorf is the Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Mormon Church.

In that talk, Dieter said to, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."  Below are some sections of this talk that I find especially interesting:

Unanswered Questions

Some struggle with unanswered questions about things that have been done or said in the past. We openly acknowledge that in nearly 200 years of Church history—along with an uninterrupted line of inspired, honorable, and divine events—there have been some things said and done that could cause people to question.

Sometimes questions arise because we simply don’t have all the information and we just need a bit more patience. When the entire truth is eventually known, things that didn’t make sense to us before will be resolved to our satisfaction.

Sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what the “facts” really mean. A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.

Mistakes of Imperfect People

And, to be perfectly frank, there have been times when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes. There may have been things said or done that were not in harmony with our values, principles, or doctrine.

I suppose the Church would be perfect only if it were run by perfect beings. God is perfect, and His doctrine is pure. But He works through us—His imperfect children—and imperfect people make mistakes.

In the title page of the Book of Mormon we read, “And now, if there are faults they are the mistakes of men; wherefore, condemn not the things of God, that ye may be found spotless at the judgment-seat of Christ.”⁶

This is the way it has always been and will be until the perfect day when Christ Himself reigns personally upon the earth.

It is unfortunate that some have stumbled because of mistakes made by men. But in spite of this, the eternal truth of the restored gospel found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not tarnished, diminished, or destroyed.

As an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ and as one who has seen firsthand the councils and workings of this Church, I bear solemn witness that no decision of significance affecting this Church or its members is ever made without earnestly seeking the inspiration, guidance, and approbation of our Eternal Father. This is the Church of Jesus Christ. God will not allow His Church to drift from its appointed course or fail to fulfill its divine destiny.

There Is Room for You

To those who have separated themselves from the Church, I say, my dear friends, there is yet a place for you here.

Come and add your talents, gifts, and energies to ours. We will all become better as a result.

Some might ask, “But what about my doubts?”

It’s natural to have questions—the acorn of honest inquiry has often sprouted and matured into a great oak of understanding. There are few members of the Church who, at one time or another, have not wrestled with serious or sensitive questions. One of the purposes of the Church is to nurture and cultivate the seed of faith—even in the sometimes sandy soil of doubt and uncertainty. Faith is to hope for things which are not seen but which are true.⁷

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters—my dear friends—please, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.⁸ We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

When I read this talk, I thought Really!?!!  Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.  To me, this statement is nothing more than a diversion tactic.  It seeks to get members of the Mormon Church to simply accept it all in a time when it is becoming increasingly apparent that Mormonism is based on an enormous stack of lies.  It tells them to not use any type of critical thinking but to just go along.

In my book, Closing the Door on Mormonism: The AHA! Moments that Triggered my Awakening, I discuss this quote as follows:

"I find it interesting that at the Mormon Church’s General Conference that was held during the weekend of October 5-6, 2013, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (Second Counselor in the First Presidency) said to “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.”  For years, this is exactly what I did.  Stuffing down all my doubts, I tried to cling to my faith and just forge ahead, without using any type of critical thinking at all.  But eventually, that tact came back to bite me repeatedly as I realized exactly what I had overlooked over the years."

"On the Mormon Curtain website, there is an article entitled “An Open Letter to President Uchtdorf: When is it OK to Stop Doubting Your Doubts?” which was posted on October 9, 2013 by Craig Paxton.  See www.mormoncurtain.com

"In that article, the question is asked of “When is it OK to Stop Doubting your Doubts and just go where the evidence leads?”  It then talks about the scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Lion and the Tin Man are standing in front of the Great and Powerful Oz after having done everything they were told to do.  But then, as the Great and Powerful Oz begins hedging on his promise and asks for more time, Dorothy and the others start questioning his power, saying that if he was as great and powerful as he claimed to be, that he would keep the promises he had made to them.  At that point, Oz becomes incensed and begins to verbally attack Dorothy for questioning his authority.  Just then, Dorothy’s dog Toto pulls back the curtain to reveal a man behind the curtain who is speaking into a microphone and pulling levers to manipulate the situation.  But even after first saying not to pay attention to the man behind the curtain and then finally admitting that he is Oz, Dorothy says she doesn’t believe him, even though the evidence is clear and obvious.  She grasps at straws to try to maintain her current mindset.

"The article goes on to say: 'Just as the Wizard of Oz attempted to divert attention away from the man behind the curtain, the church uses apologetic answers to divert those who doubt away from answers that lead to loss of faith.'  The fallacy of Mormonism is so obvious to me now, and yet for years I did exactly what President Uchtdorf said – I doubted my doubts before I doubted my faith.  Like I said, though, in the end, that all came back at me like an avalanche when confronted with the actual truth, and then, I could no longer simply turn a blind eye to the facts and evidence that are so glaringly apparent."

I've gotta give Dieter one thing - he's a very handsome man.  And though he may not be "The Most Interesting Man in the World," he's definitely the most interesting man in the First Presidency (but then, it's not like he has very much competition).

And now, here is an LDS Hymn Parody to further highlight this diversion tactic.  

DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS

Sung to the tune of Choose the Right – #239

1. "Doubt your doubts" is a catchphrase coined by Dieter,
It is used when things do not make sense.
And of course, when discussing Mormonism,
There’s simply not a good defense.

(Chorus)

Doubt your doubts!  Doubt your doubts!
Just stuff them down and build a wall.
When in doubt, doubt your doubts
Before you doubt your faith at all.

2. Doubt your doubts, let no spirit of discretion
Overcome you when your doubts arise.
When the truth and the facts are there before you,
Full denial is the best disguise.

(Chorus)

Doubt your doubts!  Doubt your doubts!
Just stuff them down and build a wall.
When in doubt, doubt your doubts
Before you doubt your faith at all.

3. Doubt your doubts! There is peace in full denial.
Doubt your doubts! A mental game we play.
Doubt your doubts before doubting Mormonism,
Don’t let the facts get in your way.

(Chorus)

Doubt your doubts!  Doubt your doubts!
Just stuff them down and build a wall.
When in doubt, doubt your doubts
Before you doubt your faith at all.

Diane E. Tingen

4/27/2014

WHERE IS TRUTH IN MORMONISM? - LDS Hymn Parody #96

 

Here's my latest LDS Hymn Parody (#96), which asks the question, "Where is Truth in Mormonism?" Of course, it's very clear from reading my blog that my answer to that question is NOWHERE. As far as I'm concerned, there is not an ounce of truth in Mormonism - not an iota, grain, particle, scrap or smidgeon. In my opinion, Joseph Smith just made up the whole thing. No matter how a person tries to rationalize it all out, say that "sometimes we have to accept things on faith," I just don't buy it. Like I've said before, having faith is all well and good, but when the facts and evidence are against something being true, then it's not faith anymore but rather denial.
Very simply, I am not able to do the mental gymnastics it would take to arrive at the conclusion that's it true. No, after all that I have discovered about Mormonism, its doctrine and extremely sordid history, I cannot come to any other conclusion than that Mormonism is a total fraud.

WHERE IS TRUTH IN MORMONISM?
Sung to the tune of Truth Reflects upon Our Senses ‑ #273

1. Where is truth in Mormonism?
Not an ounce is to be found.
You can search from top to bottom,
Find yourself on shaky ground.
Joseph Smith was not a prophet,
Just a con man, through and through.
Not an element of merit,
So apparent it’s not true.

(Chorus)
Mormonism, false religion,
Duping people, right and left,
With its fabricated doctrine,
Of the truth, it is bereft.

2. When I studied Mormonism,
An objective point of view,
Using common sense and wisdom,
Every issue I’d review,
Before long, I saw it clearly,
And I knew it wasn’t true.
But although it wasn’t easy,
As a Mormon, I was through.

(Chorus)
Mormonism, false religion,
Duping people, right and left,
With its fabricated doctrine,
Of the truth, it is bereft.

3. So I hope that all the Mormons
Will look closely at their church.
Study all the church’s doctrines,
Do some reading and research.
Look at independent writings,
Not the ones the church holds out,
And review all of their findings
To remove remaining doubt.

(Chorus)
Only then with eyes wide open
An informed decision make.
Then perhaps they’ll see deception,
And to all the lies awake.

© Diane Tingen, 5/23/2013

BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT - LDS Hymn Parody #91

Beyond the shadow of a doubt. There are certain phrases that immediately remind me of my many years in the Mormon Church, and this is one of them. I heard that phrase so many times in church that I lost count, and particularly in Fast and Testimony Meeting - and I'm sure I said it many times way back when I was still a devout Mormon, without even realizing what it really meant.

When I saw this picture, I really liked it because it demonstrates what this phrase really means. The man is standing outside the shadow of the word "Doubt." This precisely shows just how far outside of "Doubt" my convictions really are about the many falsehoods within Mormonism.

On Wikipedia, this phrase is defined as follows:

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, or beyond a shadow of a doubt, is a standard of proof. The phrase means the issue in question is so obvious, or has been so thoroughly proven, that there can exist no doubt. Two possible interpretations of "Beyond a shadow" might refer, first, to the fact that doubt could be nowhere in the vicinity (completely expelled from the issue), or second, to the thoroughness of the argument (a shadow being even less substantial than a doubt itself).

After coming to the conclusion that Mormonism is a complete fraud, I can now say that "I know beyond the shadow of a doubt" that Mormonism was obviously created by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and perpetuated by other men ever since his death. Of that fact, there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind. It is very hard for me to understand how anyone can stay in the Mormon Church once they discover the actual truth behind the doctrines, teaching and history. But so many members mindlessly cling to it all, refusing to believe that it is actually an enormous stack of lies, and that the entire religion was a hoax from the get-go. Complete and total denial.

So here is my 91st LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to knowing "Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt" that Mormonism is a complete and total fraud, riddled with innumerable lies...

BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT

Sung to the tune of While of These Emblems We Partake - #173

Beyond the shadow of a doubt,
Though I believed and was devout,
Now I am sure it is a fraud,
And not at all the Word of God.

When looking at the Mormon Church,
Investigate and do research,
Examine all the evidence,
Clearly there is no good defense.

Seeing the facts, I could not stay,
Closed all the doors and walked away.
The Mormon Church is in my past,
A web of lies, so huge and vast.

It was made up by Joseph Smith,
What he created is a myth.
Mormons steadfastly cling to lies,
What they believe the truth belies.

© Diane Tingen, 4/2/2013

IF YOU JUST GO ALONG - LDS Hymn Parody #87

For so many years, I just went along with whatever the Mormon Church told me was true.  If they had told me the wall was red, rather than blue as I saw it, I would have accepted that the wall was red and there was something wrong with my eyes and my ability to see correctly.  Even when I did begin to have doubts, I put them up on my shelf, just like a good Mormon girl/woman, and believed that if I prayed more, read the scriptures more, studied more, attended all my meetings, etc., etc., ad nauseum, then somehow it would all miraculously make sense.  Sadly, though, that never happened - and when I finally began doing my own independent research (in violation of the mandate that Mormons are only supposed to read approved materials because everything else is faith-destroying Anti-Mormon Propaganda), I began to realize that I had been duped my entire life.

There are a lot of Mormons out there who just go along, who follow the admonition to "just believe."  But what they are putting their faith in is actually an enormous stack of lies.  If I could talk with each one of them, I would tell them to please do their own independent research - not to let the Mormon Church pull the wool over their eyes any longer, but to find out for themselves.  A religious organization telling its membership not to research outside the approved parameters is one sign of a cult.  If there was nothing to hide, then it wouldn't matter what they read or look at.  I know Mormons don't want to accept the fact that their church is actually a cult - I denied that for many years.  When I would hear the Mormon Church called a cult, I would become insulted and strongly defend it saying, "Oh no, it's not a cult!!"  But in reality, the Mormon Church is most definitely a cult as is confirmed by studying the characteristics of cults on websites such as http://www.cultwatch.org/ (and in particular, see http://www.howcultswork.com/).  Also, please see Stephen Hassan's website, http://www.freedomofmind.com/.

And so, here is my 87th LDS Hymn Parody, highlighting the fact that Joseph Smith was a crook who invented Mormonism for his own purposes - and ever since his death, other men have perpetuated the hoax that he created way back then.  I just wish that those who are trapped inside the Mormonism could see the real truth because by accepting everything blindly, they are giving their power away. 

IF YOU JUST GO ALONG
Sung to the tune of Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words - #232

If you just go along and don’t question,
Accept what they say to believe,
Every piece of the dubious doctrine,
Denying they work to deceive.
Allowing the church to entrap you,
As in Mormonism you stay,
Not looking at each contradiction,
But giving your power away.

(Chorus)
It’s so clear if you look, Joseph Smith was a crook,
And he made it up from the start.
So don’t just go along, ask some questions,
Do research and take it to heart.

Looking back, I can see the denial,
With sorrow, I sadly recall
When some doubts would arise, I would squelch them,
I blindly accepted it all.
But finally, I started to question
In earnest, my research began.
And soon I could see Mormonism
Was made up by one twisted man.

(Chorus)
It’s so clear if you look, Joseph Smith was a crook,
And he made it up from the start.
So don’t just go along, ask some questions,
Do research and take it to heart.

© Diane Tingen, 2/23/2013

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY - LDS Hymn Parody #84

My latest LDS Hymn Parody (#84) addresses the sordid history of the Mormon Church.  Having been born and raised Mormon, and having stayed in the church for 52 years, it baffles me now how I could have gone along for so long when it is so obviously false.  I thank my lucky stars that I went on that Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, and that I decided to do my own research before, during and after the trip, because otherwise, I may have stayed in the Mormon Church my entire life.  Sadly, I used to be very trusting, naive and gullible.  Almost complacent.  Although I had many questions for many years that I put up on my "shelf," it wasn't until I began to discover the actual history of the Mormon Church that I began to question in earnest.  The Summer of 2001 was the turning point for me.

When I started writing these LDS hymn parodies, I never imagined that I would write 84 of them - and since I have other ideas on the back-burner, I'm sure I will eventually write even more than that.  As my daughter put it, I seem to have a knack for blasphemy (said tongue-in-cheek since she's an ExMormon, too).

So here is my 84th LDS Hymn parody, dedicated to Joseph Smith and the hoax he created and perpetuated.  May he NOT rest in peace.

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY
Sung to the tune of Improve the Shining Moments – # 226

Reviewing Mormon history
From 1830 on
When Joseph Smith created
One big religious con.
He was a practiced swindler,
A charlatan supreme.
Inventing Mormonism
Was really just a scheme.

Review the Book of Mormon,
So clearly plagiarized
By Joseph Smith and Rigdon,
They cleverly disguised
The origins and background
Of “scripture” they revised,
A book by Mr. Spalding,
So easily surmised.

Such sordid and disturbing
Events were taking place.
A fraudulent religion,
What a complete disgrace.
From New York to Ohio,
The Kirtland Banking fraud,
It’s clear that Mormonism
Is not the Word of God.

And then on to Missouri
As Joseph led the way,
Convincing all the members
This is where they would stay.
But people in Missouri
Soon tired of the Saints,
Extermination order
Then followed their complaints.

The Saints out of Missouri,
To Illinois they fled.
Just following their Prophet,
Believing what he said.
In Nauvoo they did prosper,
But shit soon hit the fan
As Joseph Smith’s influence
Grew more throughout the land.

Polygamy created,
Commandment, Joseph said.
His motives were suspicious
As 10 young girls he wed.
And he wed married women
With husbands living still,
Til 33 they numbered,
Just couldn’t get his fill.

The name of Fanny Alger
Is right a-top the list,
Though Cowdery loudly argued
And simply did insist,
That what they had together
Was plainly an affair,
But Joseph was insulted,
Legitimate, he'd swear. 

Polygamy increasing,
The Nauvoo Temple built.
Masonic ceremonies,
Soon introduced full tilt.
Then Joseph Smith declaring
For President he’d run,
Though it was not too likely
That Joseph would have won.

That was in January
Of 1844,
And only six months later,
His death would close the door
On all that he envisioned,
The power that he craved,
Wherever he could get it,
Immoral and depraved.

They say he was a martyr,
In Carthage Jail, he died.
While there, a mob attacked him,
From death, he could not hide.
But martyr does not fit him,
When studying the facts,
He was incarcerated
For some illegal acts.

Would a religious martyr
Destroy a printing press
And then burn down a building?
Surely God would not bless
Such obvious aggression
When truth had been revealed,
Polygamy uncovered
By Joseph Smith concealed.

I think it is appalling
That Mormons everywhere
Accept the gospel doctrine
And simply aren’t aware
Of things within the history
That cry out “It’s not true,”
Exposing Mormonism,
Deceptive, through and through.

Examine Mormon history,
Alarming facts unfold.
So camoflagued and whitewashed,
Some facts are never told
Within a Mormon chapel,
Where ignorance they breed,
Just say it didn't happen,
Denial is their creed.

Of course, the facts of history
Are totally obscured
By Mormons in denial,
Actual truth detoured.
But anyone reviewing
The facts and evidence
Will see red flags a-plenty
If they use common sense.

© Diane Tingen, 2/5/2013

Interesting reading:

http://historyofmormonism.com/

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ldsbom.htm

http://solomonspalding.com/index3.htm

http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_spaldingmanuscript.html

Interesting pictures:

 

Three of the earliest Mormons:
Sidney Rigdon, Oliver Cowdery, and Joseph Smith

Title page of one of the earliest anti-Mormon publications,
E. D. Howe's Mormonism Unvailed: Or, A Faithful
 Account of that Singular Imposition and Delusion,
 from its Rise to the Present Time (1834), which claimed
 that the Book of Mormon was written by Solomon Spalding.

An anti-Mormon Political Cartoon from the late 19th Century

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #83

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH.  That phrase has always bothered me, even when I was a TBM.  So rigid and presumptuous.

My late father was very pious and dogmatic about Mormonism, and actually told many people (including my sister-in-law's sister) that if they didn't join the Mormon Church, they were going to HELL.  The man was not known for his tact or diplomacy. 

Since that phrase did bother me so much, and I loved to pull my father's chain, I used to tell him a joke that goes like this:

A man died and went to Heaven.  As he approached the Pearly Gates, he was met by St. Peter who told him he was going to give him a tour of Heaven.  They started walking around, and St. Peter pointed out areas where different people were congregated – saying, “Those are the Catholics, and the Lutherans are over there.  The Presbyterians are over there, and there are the Methodists.  The Buddhists are over there, and there are the Baptists.”

Looking puzzled, the man asked St. Peter, “OK, but who are those people way off in the distance?” to which St. Peter responded, “Oh, those are the Mormons.  They think they’re the only ones here.”

Needless to say, my father didn’t like it when I told him this joke, and it would launch him into a dissertation on “the way things are” during which he would repeat his routine about how, in essence, “Mormons are the only ones going to Heaven, and everyone else is going to Hell.”  After all, he would say, that is what the Temples are for – to baptize and do all necessary ordinances for our dead ancestors who did not accept the gospel (according to the Mormon Church) while they were here on earth.  Then my father would ask me, “Why would the Mormon Church build all those temples and do all those ordinances if it wasn’t for an actual purpose?”  Oh, I don’t know, Dad.  Maybe it’s because they are crazy?

As I got older, I also voiced my opinions about Church doctrine to my father several times.  When I talked to him about my thoughts, he told me that my “liberal attitudes were going to get me into trouble one day.”  At the time when he said that, I thought about responding to that statement, disagreeing with him or telling him more about how I felt, but I resisted the urge since I didn’t want it to appear that I was goading him on or trying to provoke him in any way.  Now I wish I had voiced more of my opinions to him because then at least I would feel that I had expressed myself entirely to him.  Maybe one day, I’ll get the chance to do that in the Afterlife (that is, if I don’t go to HELL since my father will, undoubtedly, be in the Celestial Kingdom – at least, in his own mind).



Simply take out "Restored Church of God" and replace it with
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
After all, the LDS Church (the Mormons) is
THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE CHURCH OF GOD.
Yeah, right...

So here is my 83rd LDS hymn parody, highlighting that incredibly annoying phrase, "The One True Church."  And I think I'll dedicate it to my late father who, if there is an Afterlife, is most likely turning over in his grave at this point, convinced that his own daughter is going to HELL - or maybe even Outer Darkness.

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of The Morning Breaks, #1

The one true church, the Mormons say,
Interpret truth in their own way.
Deny the facts, the evidence,
Deny the facts, the evidence,
And never use their common sense.

They say have faith and just believe,
So obvious that they deceive.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church is just a myth.

For many years, I went along
Though deep inside, I knew it's wrong.
But til I did my own research,
But til I did my own research,
I stayed within the Mormon Church.

As I stuck things up on my shelf,
And just denied my real self.
But then I could pretend no more,
But then I could pretend no more,
And so I finally closed the door.

I saw the lies and walked away,
Their twisted game I will not play.
I've seen the facts, unwoven lies,
I’ve seen the facts, unwoven lies,
There simply is no compromise.

A great reward to just be me,
To live my life authentically.
My own instincts I won't betray,
My own instincts I won’t betray
Close off my mind the Mormon Way.

© Diane Tingen, 1/29/2013

I KNOW THAT IT'S FILLED WITH DECEPTION - LDS Hymn Parody #76

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody... #76.  Writing a parody of "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" has been on my "to do" list for quite a while now.  Naturally, since I was born and raised Mormon, I remember singing it innumerable times over the years.  In fact, I even remember singing it during general conference in the Conference Center when it was still fairly new.  Of course, it has been sung at most general conferences since it was published in 1863 - and has been sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir many, many times (and is included on several of their albums, including an album entitled "Praise to the Man," which includes many hymns honoring "the Prophet" Joseph Smith). 
  
Since I no longer believe that the Mormon Church is led by a living Prophet (just as I don't believe that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God or "the Prophet of the Restoration" as Mormons refer to him), it gave me great satisfaction to write this new version.  As this hymn parody says, I KNOW THAT IT'S FILLED WITH DECEPTION, and I'm so thankful for that knowledge.  When I was questioning and as the conflicts I felt inside began to diminish, I began to feel a peace, joy and tranquility that permeated my life and finally made me happy.  After years of struggling, trying to "just believe" and accept it all with faith, I finally came to the conclusion that I was living in denial - that I was clinging to religion that was built on a stack of lies that made no sense.  It was such a relief to finally reach that point.  And so I bid Mormonism adieu - and I have never regretted that decision.  As the last line of this hymn parody says, "I could not continue to follow religion that works to deceive."

I KNOW THAT IT’S FILLED WITH DECEPTION

Sung to the tune of We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet - #19

I know that it’s filled with deception,
So clear from the research I’ve done.
Examining all of the doctrine,
I know that of truth there is none.
In going through its sordid history,
The facts that they try to disguise,
I fully reject Mormonism
Because it is nothing but lies.

I know Joseph Smith was a shyster,
Who made up an enormous fraud
By claiming that he was a Prophet,
And saying that he had seen God.
By researching, it is apparent
That none of what he said was true,
And what others say in the present
Are lies they continue to spew.

I'm thankful that I know the truth now,
Tranquility fills me inside.
Resolved are the conflicts that plagued me,
A joyousness I cannot hide.
And though I am labelled apostate
By Mormons who blindly believe,
I could not continue to follow
Religion that works to deceive.

© Diane Tingen, 11/30/12

SO ENTRENCHED IN MORMONISM - LDS Hymn Parody #71

I've been thinking about how many people get so wrapped up in religion that they accept certain things blindly, without really looking at the background or even searching for the actual truth.  Blind faith is simply not wise.  Accepting religious principles without researching its subject matter is basically giving your own power away and allowing a religious organization to dictate what you believe.  As I've said before, having faith is all fine and good, but when a person ignores the actual facts and evidence, then it's not faith anymore but rather denial.

Sadly, that’s how it was for me within Mormonism.  Being born and raised Mormon, I just went along for many years, accepting what I was told to believe, not really looking at it with a critical eye or doing any independent research, away from the “accepted parameters.”  And even when I did discover something that didn't make sense to me, I tried to accept it anyway.  Denial - deep denial.  That mindset really irritates me now, and I wish I had become more intellectually curious when I was much younger so that I could have found the actual facts while I was in my youth.

I'm so grateful that I finally began doing my own independent research.  Of course, anyone who does that is bound to find the same sort of facts and evidence.  But sadly, some people cling to it anyway, trying to rationalize it all out in their minds.  I did that for quite a while, but in the end, that was no longer an option for me.  The actual truth is what's important to me, and once I knew without any doubt that the Mormon Church is actually a fraud, that was the absolute end.

Entrenched once, but no more... and the biggest reward is living my life authentically.

With that said, here is my 71st LDS Hymn Parody...

SO ENTRENCHED IN MORMONISM

Sung to the tune of O Thou Rock of our Salvation, #258

So entrenched in Mormonism,
They refuse to see the lies.
Close the eyes and just believe it,
Blind acceptance is not wise.
What I found when I did research
Made me finally face the truth.
Wish that I had questioned sooner,
Found the facts while in my youth.

Born and raised in Mormonism,
I believed what I was taught.
It took years for me to see it,
In denial I was caught.
What I found when I did research
Made me finally face the truth.
Wish that I had questioned sooner,
Found the facts while in my youth.

Now I know that Mormonism
Was made up by Joseph Smith.
Not an ounce of truth to speak of,
It is nothing but a myth.
When I found when I did research
Made me finally face the truth.
Wish that I had questioned sooner,
Found the facts while in my youth.

So apparent all their tactics,
How they brainwash and persuade.
Make the members scared to research,
What a price they all have paid.
In the end, I hope they see it,
For the truth will set them free.
Just as it has done in my life,
As I live authentically.

Diane Tingen, 7/22/2012

WHERE IS THE PEACE DENIAL BRINGS? LDS Hymn Parody #66

Denial.  An interesting topic.  In my opinion, there are a lot of Mormons who are in total and complete denial.  Just like the picture says, "Denialism - Denying reality, one fact at time."  Because really, when you really examine Mormonism on an independent level (away from the areas "authorized" by the church itself), it is obviously filled with all kinds of lies, deceptions and half-truths.  And no, that isn't Anti-Mormon Propaganda, but the actual truth based on actual evidence and actual facts.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if the Mormon Church had nothing to hide, then it wouldn't matter what people read or where they research.  But the fact that the church is very concerned about its members doing research on their own is very telling.

Of course, there are many who are still counted within the ranks of Mormons who have realized the lies, know the actual truth, but have decided to "pretend" to still believe to keep the peace within their families.  Very sad.  It doesn't seem to matter what the 11th Article of Faith says... "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."  Most Mormons don't follow that philosophy, but rather berate people who decide they cannot adhere to Mormon beliefs any longer - even shunning and turning their backs against those who choose to use their free agency.  And sadly, this happens a lot within families.
 
There are so many types of Mormons:  Shadow Mormons.  Social Mormons.  Cafeteria Mormons.  Dry Mormons.  Jack Mormons.  True Believing Mormons (TBMs).  But regardless of what type of Mormons they are, they all have two things in common:  Mormonism and Denial.  Please don't get me wrong - I feel a lot of sympathy for people who find themselves trapped within Mormonism (at least in their minds), but it takes a lot of denial to not realize that staying within the parameters of something in which you don't believe (and is obviously filled with lies) has a devastating effect on a person's psyche and mental well-being.  I know because I've been there.  Thankfully, I realized several years ago that I could not "pretend" any longer, and left the fold - and I've never regretted my decision.

And so here is my 66th LDS Hymn Parody... highlighting the denial that is alive and well, and being adhered to faithfully within Mormonism.  And no, denial is not a river in Egypt...

WHERE IS THE PEACE DENIAL BRINGS?

Sung to the tune of Sweet is the Peace the Gospel Brings, #14

Where is the peace denial brings
To Mormons everywhere?
Just following as they are told,
Their thoughts they cannot share.

So sad their lives are intertwined
In Mormonism’s ploy.
But sadder still to realize
It strips your life of joy.

The bottom line, your peace of mind
And how you feel inside,
Is tied up in your happiness
And cannot be denied.

To live your life authentically,
And not give in to fear,
Accept the false philosophies
To which they all adhere.

To me, it’s clear the Mormon Church
Is not the Word of God.
It’s nothing but a sham and hoax,
So obvious a fraud.

So difficult to understand
How anyone can stay
Within a church so clearly false
And give their lives away.

To those still trapped within the grasp
Of Mormonism’s ruse,
I hope that you will find a way
To finally get loose.

Because the peace that you will find
When you are finally free,
Is worth whatever it will take,
Just as it was for me.

© Diane Tingen, 5/25/2012