THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER - LDS Hymn Parody #124

There's a few blogs that I follow in the ExMormon online community, and one of them is Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta who always has great insights, satirical and otherwise, into all things ExMormon). Earlier this year, Donna posted a two-part series of blog entries entitled, Why ExMormons Won't Leave the Church Alone.  What she said in those blog entries triggered my writing of Why Can't You Just Leave the Church Alone? (which was my 121st LDS Hymn Parody).  Now, again, a blog entry posted on Ward Gossip on December 19, 2015 has prompted me to write another LDS Hymn Parody.  That blog entry was entitled The Crazy Talk Gets Even Crazier - and that is so true!!  Just when you think it can't get crazier, it does. Mormons continue to blindly accept whatever they are told and will defend it even though what they are saying makes absolutely no sense. But even pointing that out doesn't do any good; they are so convinced of its "truth" that they seem comfortable in their ignorance.  When asked to simply exploration the possibility that what they are saying might not be true, they scoff and dig their heels in even harder.

What's sad is that I remember having that mindset.  When I was a devout Mormon, no one could convince me that it wasn't actually true.  Although I did have issues with certain aspects of Mormonism from an early age (which I put on my imaginary shelf), I nevertheless accepted it as the gospel truth and told myself that I just needed to be more humble; and that I also needed to pray more and read the scriptures more so I would be worthy to understand it all.  But even though I did those things, the issues I had remained, making me feel not only unworthy but also frustrated and extremely inadequate.  I look back on those times with complete disdain because I now know that I was chasing an elusive goal.

Amidst my questioning, as my imaginary shelf became more and more crowded with more and more issues until it was close to tumbling down, I finally did some research into Mormon Church History.  In doing so, I began to realize that Mormonism is simply not true. In time, I came to the conclusion that it is a completely bogus religion - and looking at it now, I ask myself how I could have accepted it for so long.  But then, hindsight is 20/20 and kicking yourself for past mindsets is futile.

So here is my 124th LDS Hymn Parody.  The crazy talk does keep getting crazier, but thank goodness I finally walked away and am no longer caught up in the ridiculous Mormon mindset (a/k/a denial) that made me think it wasn't crazy at all.

THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER

Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21

1. The crazy talk gets crazier

As Mormons skirt the lies.
They will not see, it’s all a blur,
Deception in disguise.
They speak of truth yet just ignore
Whatever doesn’t fit.
It’s fraudulent right to its core,

A total pile of shit.

2. They say to simply doubt your doubts,
And cling to what they say.
But that is hard to figure out
Since facts get in the way.
There’s clearly lots of evidence
To prove deception deep,
But since they don’t use common sense,
They’ve all turned into sheep.

3. When questioning its truthfulness,
I finally saw the lies.
And now I see that it’s BS,
For truth, no compromise.
Deceit the Mormons try to spin
To camouflage the lies.
So obvious from deep within,
No matter its disguise.

4. Now due to my awakening,
I’m Mormonism free.
No longer to its lies I cling,
And I am finally ME.
The crazy talk gets crazier
With every passing day,
But now it’s gotten easier
To simply look away.

© Diane Tingen, 12/31/2015

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST - LDS Hymn Parody #81

Everyone needs a Bucket List - all the things you want to do before you die.  There are many things on my Bucket List, and I'm trying to live my life so that many of those things I want to do before I shed this mortal coil.  But for me, the most important thing has already been done.  After coming to the realization that Mormonism is a fraud, I left it all behind - and finally became myself.  THE REAL ME.  

Lately, I've been thinking about how much I have changed over the past few years since leaving Mormonism.  I used to be very complacent.  Didn't want to make waves.  Tried to blend into the background.  Took everything so seriously.  Especially Mormonism.  I didn't understand many things about my "chosen religion," and I had many questions, but I still went along.  Just like a good little Mormon girl/woman.  What irks me the most if that for most of my life, I wasn't intellectually curious enough to research or study anything that wasn't "authorized" by the Mormon Church.  I accepted whatever they told me.  And whatever I didn't understand, I put on my "shelf," thinking that I must not be righteous enough to comprehend those doctrines or principles.  I believed the hype that I just needed to study more, pray more, attend more church meetings, and try harder to be a good Mormon woman.  Didn't make me feel very satisfied, but I was certain that was the price I needed to pay for not being "good enough."

Simply put, I was the Mormon version of my true self - who I thought I was supposed to be.  NOT THE REAL ME.

Leaving Mormonism is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Shedding the shackles of the past freed me to finally BE MYSELF... and I've never been happier than I am right now.  When I discovered all the lies laced throughout Mormonism, it was quite a shock.  The more I researched, the more I discovered, and the more flabbergasted I became.  Layer upon layer, I uncovered the deception, the intricate web of lies created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated through the years by many other men.  At first, I didn't know what to do, but in the end, I knew I had no other choice than to disassociate myself from the Mormon Church.

When I finally stopped going to church with no intention of every returning is when I finally began to realize who I really am.  A strong, competent, intellectually curious woman who spent many years with her true personality being suppressed and squelched by a religion that plays very fast and loose with the truth.  Of course, I was very angry that I had spent 52 years in such a religion - and in many ways, I felt that my life had been stolen from me.  I questioned why my parents even joined the church when I was only 10 months old, essentially subjecting me to a Mormon life without my consent.  I kicked myself for not being more intellectually curious at a younger age because perhaps then I would have discovered the lies sooner.  Basically, I had let them lead me along for so many years.  A mindless sheep.  But eventually, I worked through the anger and realized that if I let those types of thoughts define my life, then Mormonism is still winning.  That's when I decided to start this blog, which has been a great outlet for my many thoughts about Mormonism, its lies, and the effects of the deception it perpetuates.

And so, below is an LDS Hymn Parody I have written about My Bucket List.  Although there are many other things on my Bucket List, #1 is already checked off.  SIMPLY BE MYSELF.  DONE.

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST
Sung to the tune of High on the Mountain Top - #5

High on my Bucket List,
The things I want to do
Before I leave this world
And bid this life adieu.
I simply want to be myself,
And empty off my Mormon shelf.

For way too many years
My shelf did overflow,
Just shoving things up there
And watching it all grow.
But then I saw the stack of lies,
The truth revealed, no more disguise.

That’s when I finally found
The courage from inside
To simply be myself,
And I no longer hide
From what the truth has done for me,
It made me strong and set me free.

So thankful that I’m not
Still caught within the Church,
I’m Mormonism Free,
Their doctrine I besmirch.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church, a total myth.

No shadow of a doubt,
I know it’s filled with lies.
I've seen the evidence
Each TBM denies.
I wish they’d look with open eyes,
Then they might say their own goodbyes.

So now my Bucket List,
A check by #1,
The most important thing
I finally have done.
I've shed the pain and dried my tears,
In peace I’ll live throughout my years.

© Diane Tingen, 1/21/2013

SO....

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR BUCKET LIST...

COME, LET US REVIEW - LDS Hymn Parody #72

Here is my 72nd LDS Hymn Parody.  As in so many of my other hymn parodies, the theme of this new one is the deception and lies that Joseph Smith conjured up to form the basis and foundation of the Mormon Church, and the perpetuation of those lies since his time through to the present.  It also touches on another recurring theme - that many TBMs tend to simply accept everything they are told, regardless of any evidence against it all, and "just believe."  Otherwise known as the "Sheep" syndrome.

Recently, though, it has become clear me that more and more people are seeing through the lies and deciding to walk away.  The church leaders try to say that's not the case, and attempt to characterize the Mormon Church as the "fast-growing Christian religion in the world."  In my opinion, it is creative accounting that bolsters the statistics that they hold out.  But from what I have observed in various places on the internet (including many ExMormon and PostMormon type of groups on Facebook), there are more and more former sheep all the time who have seen the light and have decided that they, like me, can no longer live the lie.  For me, that is very reassuring.  As time goes on, I am certain that more and more Mormons will begin to "review the clues" that are so obvious to me now, and decide that life is too short and precious to continue to associate themselves with a religion that plays so fast and loose with the truth.  At least, I hope so...

COME, LET US REVIEW
Sung to the tune of Come, Let Us Anew #217

Come, let us review
Each obvious clue,
Discussing the lies
That they cover up
And attempt to disguise.
It is filled with deceit,
Many falsehoods replete.
But the Mormons believe,
Without thinking accept
All the lies that they weave.
Without thinking accept
All the lies that they weave.

They follow along
Although it is wrong,
And simply obey,
Their eyes fully shut,
As in darkness they stay.
But if they’d only look
Then they’d see what a crook
Joseph Smith really was.
And they might recognize
All the obvious flaws.
And they might recognize
All the obvious flaws.

The man they revere,
Their prophet and seer,
Created a fraud,
The gospel they teach
Is not the Word of God.
Joseph Smith was a con,
I could go on and on,
Mormonism untrue.
The deception is clear
So I bid it adieu.
The deception is clear
So I bid it adieu.

© Diane Tingen
10/8/2012

THE PLAN IS IN PLACE - LDS Hymn Parody #58

OK, I'm on a roll again... and here is my 58th LDS Hymn Parody...

This one is very self-explanatory.  It follows a recurring theme of the mindless sheep just going along without thinking for themselves (you know, like Come, Come Ye Sheep), which I'm sure is part of "the plan" created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by many others since his time...

THE PLAN IS IN PLACE
Sung to the tune of The Lord is my Light, #89

The plan is in place, the sheep must obey,
So keep them in line throughout every day.
They must show compliance in every detail
Because Mormonism cannot ever fail.

(Chorus)
The plan… is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

The plan is in place, what more can we say?
Get them to submit and money they’ll pay.
You know Mormonism is simply a fraud,
But they will comply if they think it’s from God.

(Chorus)
The plan… is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

You know Joseph Smith, a Prophet of God,
Created the plan, a brilliant façade.
And so we must follow what Joseph foresaw,
A bunch of mindless sheep chanting baa, baa, baa…

(Chorus)
The plan is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

And so here we are, the Internet Age,
Where Google is king, an all-knowing sage.
We need to be certain the sheep remain blind,
Forbid them to research, the truth they won’t find.

(Chorus)
The plan is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

© Diane Tingen, 2/16/2012

WITHIN MY SOUL - LDS Hymn Parody #41

Of all the hymn parodies I have written so far, this one is my favorite.  Part of the reason, I'm sure, is because the hymn (Be Still, My Soul) that this parody is based on is absolutely beautiful, and back when I was an active Mormon and was Ward Organist, I used to love to play it, sometimes playing it as prelude music.  Of course, this hymn is not strictly Mormon - it is a Christian hymn originally written in German by Catharina von Schlegel (1752), and was then translated by Jane Borthwick (1899) who then set it to music written by the Finnish composer Jean Sibelius (also in 1899).

My parody of this hymn outlines my struggles with coming to terms with what I began discovering about Mormonism back in 2001 (prior to, during and after going on a Mormon Church History Tour) - that it is a fraud that was made up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by various others since its inception through to the present day.  As I have explained in other parts of this blog and in my book, initially I began reading about the history of the Mormon Church prior to going on a Mormon Church History Tour so I would know more when we visited the key places.  Having been born and raised Mormon, I had never really studied the history of the Church, but had rather relied on what I was told to believe.  So when I began to discover the truth behind what I had been told, and the actual sordid history of the Mormon Church, I was flabbergasted.  At first, I kept thinking that I must be misunderstanding things, that I just needed to continue to have faith that it was true - to "just believe."  But eventually, as I began to see even more clearly that it was actually a scam, I began to realize that having faith in what I was told to believe was all fine and good, but when all the evidence pointed toward it being actually false, then it wasn't faith anymore, but rather denial.  That was the turning point for me.

And as difficult as this process was for me, in the end I felt incredibly peaceful, knowing that I had discovered the actual truth.  All the years of questioning things and the burden of being told to "just believe" were erased, and I felt complete and utter serenity.  What a gift.

WITHIN MY SOUL
Sung to the tune of Be Still My Soul, #124

Within my soul, the questioning was strong,
But still I tried so hard to just believe.
Accept by faith, and try to go along,
Deny the truth, the web of lies they weave.
Within my soul, I struggled with it all,
But now the truth is written on the wall.

Within my mind, it made no sense to me,
To reconcile it all became too hard.
The more I read, the clearer I could see
The stack of lies I knew I must discard.
Within my mind, I know that truth prevails,
And in the end that Mormonism fails.

Within my heart, I know without a doubt
That Joseph Smith created it from scratch.
It’s very clear, I want to scream and shout,
The lies are plain, none of the pieces match.
The truth is there for everyone to find,
All it requires is opening your mind.

Within my soul, I felt a great release
From all the years of being just a sheep.
I felt renewed and finally felt at peace,
No longer trapped, ensnared, deception deep.
Within my soul, tranquility abides,
Serenity, the gift that truth provides.

© Diane Tingen, 10/27/2011

WHY DO THEY BELIEVE? LDS Hymn Parody #40

Yes, another LDS Hymn Parody - the 40th one I've written (so far).  Well on my way to my current goal of 50...

This hymn parody addresses the issue of blind faith and compliance without questioning, definitely applicable to members of the Mormon Church.  Sadly, I used to be one of them - just went along, believed what they told me to believe, bought into it all.  But I am so glad that I finally opened my eyes and started examining it all because doing so undercovered a plethora of lies and deception. 

This quote by Buddha really hits home for me - "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."  Such good advice.  Of course, in order to use reason in any given situation, a person has to have studied an issue out, to have actually thought about it.  After doing so, that person must apply their own common sense to see if it makes sense to them.  And if it does not make sense to them personally, then it should be discarded. 

Naturally, the leadership of the Mormon Church doesn't want its members looking closely at the doctrine or history, and they certainly don't want members thinking on their own.  They want everyone to accept it all without question.  In researching about cults, I discovered that is one of the signs of a cult.  If an organization has nothing to hide, then no amount of independent research can hurt it.  But, of course, that is not the case with the Mormon Church because it has plenty to hide, and has been trying to do so for its entire history.  With the internet age in full swing, though, their ability to continue to hide it all is diminishing as people "Google it" and discover the actual truth. 

Critical thinking is so important.  Examining issues and deciding for yourself whether it is true or false.  I hope that more members of the Mormon Church begin to realize that to simply follow along without doing any independent research is not wise - and that they open their eyes to the possibility that what they have adhered to is built on a stack of lies.

WHY DO THEY BELIEVE?

Sung to the tune of Now Let Us Rejoice, #3

Why do they believe what they’re told without question?
Although it is nonsense, they cling to the lies.
Why don’t Mormons study and find out the answers?
The concept of critical thinking applies.

(Chorus)

Just open your eyes and you’ll see the truth clearly,
Examine it all, the deception is deep.
Important to think for yourself, independent,
Don’t let them corral you like one of the sheep.

Why does Mormonism promote such reliance
On what they are told to believe down the line?
Accepting by faith is a form of denial
When all of the facts with the truth don’t align.

(Chorus)

Just open your eyes and you’ll see the truth clearly,
Examine it all, the deception is deep.
Important to think for yourself, independent,
Don’t let them corral you like one of the sheep.

I once was a Mormon, believed without question,
But now that I’ve opened my eyes, I can see
It’s all laced with lies, there is no doubt about it,
And I hope they will all know eventually…

(Chorus)

That looking more closely will help them see clearly
It’s not the true church but is riddled with lies.
If only the members would do their own research,
They would find the truth – there is no compromise.

© Diane Tingen, 11/10/2011