THE ONE TRUE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #83

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH.  That phrase has always bothered me, even when I was a TBM.  So rigid and presumptuous.

My late father was very pious and dogmatic about Mormonism, and actually told many people (including my sister-in-law's sister) that if they didn't join the Mormon Church, they were going to HELL.  The man was not known for his tact or diplomacy. 

Since that phrase did bother me so much, and I loved to pull my father's chain, I used to tell him a joke that goes like this:

A man died and went to Heaven.  As he approached the Pearly Gates, he was met by St. Peter who told him he was going to give him a tour of Heaven.  They started walking around, and St. Peter pointed out areas where different people were congregated – saying, “Those are the Catholics, and the Lutherans are over there.  The Presbyterians are over there, and there are the Methodists.  The Buddhists are over there, and there are the Baptists.”

Looking puzzled, the man asked St. Peter, “OK, but who are those people way off in the distance?” to which St. Peter responded, “Oh, those are the Mormons.  They think they’re the only ones here.”

Needless to say, my father didn’t like it when I told him this joke, and it would launch him into a dissertation on “the way things are” during which he would repeat his routine about how, in essence, “Mormons are the only ones going to Heaven, and everyone else is going to Hell.”  After all, he would say, that is what the Temples are for – to baptize and do all necessary ordinances for our dead ancestors who did not accept the gospel (according to the Mormon Church) while they were here on earth.  Then my father would ask me, “Why would the Mormon Church build all those temples and do all those ordinances if it wasn’t for an actual purpose?”  Oh, I don’t know, Dad.  Maybe it’s because they are crazy?

As I got older, I also voiced my opinions about Church doctrine to my father several times.  When I talked to him about my thoughts, he told me that my “liberal attitudes were going to get me into trouble one day.”  At the time when he said that, I thought about responding to that statement, disagreeing with him or telling him more about how I felt, but I resisted the urge since I didn’t want it to appear that I was goading him on or trying to provoke him in any way.  Now I wish I had voiced more of my opinions to him because then at least I would feel that I had expressed myself entirely to him.  Maybe one day, I’ll get the chance to do that in the Afterlife (that is, if I don’t go to HELL since my father will, undoubtedly, be in the Celestial Kingdom – at least, in his own mind).



Simply take out "Restored Church of God" and replace it with
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
After all, the LDS Church (the Mormons) is
THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE CHURCH OF GOD.
Yeah, right...

So here is my 83rd LDS hymn parody, highlighting that incredibly annoying phrase, "The One True Church."  And I think I'll dedicate it to my late father who, if there is an Afterlife, is most likely turning over in his grave at this point, convinced that his own daughter is going to HELL - or maybe even Outer Darkness.

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of The Morning Breaks, #1

The one true church, the Mormons say,
Interpret truth in their own way.
Deny the facts, the evidence,
Deny the facts, the evidence,
And never use their common sense.

They say have faith and just believe,
So obvious that they deceive.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church is just a myth.

For many years, I went along
Though deep inside, I knew it's wrong.
But til I did my own research,
But til I did my own research,
I stayed within the Mormon Church.

As I stuck things up on my shelf,
And just denied my real self.
But then I could pretend no more,
But then I could pretend no more,
And so I finally closed the door.

I saw the lies and walked away,
Their twisted game I will not play.
I've seen the facts, unwoven lies,
I’ve seen the facts, unwoven lies,
There simply is no compromise.

A great reward to just be me,
To live my life authentically.
My own instincts I won't betray,
My own instincts I won’t betray
Close off my mind the Mormon Way.

© Diane Tingen, 1/29/2013

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST - LDS Hymn Parody #81

Everyone needs a Bucket List - all the things you want to do before you die.  There are many things on my Bucket List, and I'm trying to live my life so that many of those things I want to do before I shed this mortal coil.  But for me, the most important thing has already been done.  After coming to the realization that Mormonism is a fraud, I left it all behind - and finally became myself.  THE REAL ME.  

Lately, I've been thinking about how much I have changed over the past few years since leaving Mormonism.  I used to be very complacent.  Didn't want to make waves.  Tried to blend into the background.  Took everything so seriously.  Especially Mormonism.  I didn't understand many things about my "chosen religion," and I had many questions, but I still went along.  Just like a good little Mormon girl/woman.  What irks me the most if that for most of my life, I wasn't intellectually curious enough to research or study anything that wasn't "authorized" by the Mormon Church.  I accepted whatever they told me.  And whatever I didn't understand, I put on my "shelf," thinking that I must not be righteous enough to comprehend those doctrines or principles.  I believed the hype that I just needed to study more, pray more, attend more church meetings, and try harder to be a good Mormon woman.  Didn't make me feel very satisfied, but I was certain that was the price I needed to pay for not being "good enough."

Simply put, I was the Mormon version of my true self - who I thought I was supposed to be.  NOT THE REAL ME.

Leaving Mormonism is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Shedding the shackles of the past freed me to finally BE MYSELF... and I've never been happier than I am right now.  When I discovered all the lies laced throughout Mormonism, it was quite a shock.  The more I researched, the more I discovered, and the more flabbergasted I became.  Layer upon layer, I uncovered the deception, the intricate web of lies created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated through the years by many other men.  At first, I didn't know what to do, but in the end, I knew I had no other choice than to disassociate myself from the Mormon Church.

When I finally stopped going to church with no intention of every returning is when I finally began to realize who I really am.  A strong, competent, intellectually curious woman who spent many years with her true personality being suppressed and squelched by a religion that plays very fast and loose with the truth.  Of course, I was very angry that I had spent 52 years in such a religion - and in many ways, I felt that my life had been stolen from me.  I questioned why my parents even joined the church when I was only 10 months old, essentially subjecting me to a Mormon life without my consent.  I kicked myself for not being more intellectually curious at a younger age because perhaps then I would have discovered the lies sooner.  Basically, I had let them lead me along for so many years.  A mindless sheep.  But eventually, I worked through the anger and realized that if I let those types of thoughts define my life, then Mormonism is still winning.  That's when I decided to start this blog, which has been a great outlet for my many thoughts about Mormonism, its lies, and the effects of the deception it perpetuates.

And so, below is an LDS Hymn Parody I have written about My Bucket List.  Although there are many other things on my Bucket List, #1 is already checked off.  SIMPLY BE MYSELF.  DONE.

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST
Sung to the tune of High on the Mountain Top - #5

High on my Bucket List,
The things I want to do
Before I leave this world
And bid this life adieu.
I simply want to be myself,
And empty off my Mormon shelf.

For way too many years
My shelf did overflow,
Just shoving things up there
And watching it all grow.
But then I saw the stack of lies,
The truth revealed, no more disguise.

That’s when I finally found
The courage from inside
To simply be myself,
And I no longer hide
From what the truth has done for me,
It made me strong and set me free.

So thankful that I’m not
Still caught within the Church,
I’m Mormonism Free,
Their doctrine I besmirch.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church, a total myth.

No shadow of a doubt,
I know it’s filled with lies.
I've seen the evidence
Each TBM denies.
I wish they’d look with open eyes,
Then they might say their own goodbyes.

So now my Bucket List,
A check by #1,
The most important thing
I finally have done.
I've shed the pain and dried my tears,
In peace I’ll live throughout my years.

© Diane Tingen, 1/21/2013

SO....

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR BUCKET LIST...

THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL AT LAST - LDS Hymn Parody #80

Looking back over the past few years, I can honestly say that I am happier now than I have ever been.  Leaving Mormonism behind was the best thing I ever did.  I am living an authentic life now, without any of the strife I felt for so many years.  Trying to "have faith" and "just believe" as they told me to do was literally killing me.  This is especially true when I began to question in earnest, after going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001.  When I began to discover the lies behind the Mormon Curtain as well as the sordid history that is the foundation for it all, I began to realize that I had been struggling for so long because it simply isn't true. 

For so long, I thought it was me - that I was the problem.  Being given the message (whether spoken or implied) that I wasn't righteous enough to understand it all made me feel completely inadequate.  I accepted the challenge to study more, pray more, and be more obedient, and also took to heart the admonition given in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 4-5:

4  And when we shall receive these things, I would exhort you that we would ask God, the Eternal Faith, in the name of Christ,. if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Of course, the message a person is given is that if they do not receive the answer that the Book of Mormon, as well as Mormonism itself, is true, then they are at fault - they are not asking with "...a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ..." 
But what I finally realized is that doing all that didn't work because that premise was being applied to the wrong scenario.  What I ultimately discovered is that Mormonism is an elaborate web of lies made up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated since his death by many others who had or have as much riding on keeping everyone in the dark as did Joseph Smith himself.

Naturally, though, the Mormon Church strongly admonishes its members to not do any independent research, to only rely on "faith-promoting materials" that the Mormon Church itself disseminates.  That directive is wrong on so many levels - and at its root is the fact that charging its members with these instructions is one of the defining signs that it is actually a CULT.  The bottom line is that if there was nothing to hide then it would not matter what anyone reads or researches.

Breaking free from Mormonism gave me a new lease on life.  It helped me to shed years of strife that had placed a burden on my shoulders that was at times overwhelming.  Living an authentic life and being true to myself is a tremendous relief.  I hope that others who are still trapped within Mormonism will do their own independent research without fear of reprimand, chastizement and/or punishment - particularly since it is my understanding that a question has been added to Temple Recommend Interview List about doing independent research and looking at what the Mormons consider to be "Anti-Mormon propaganda" contained on various websites (and if answered that a person has looked at this type of material, a temple recommend will most likely be denied).

Mormons are told to "just believe" and to have "faith."  As I've said before, though, having faith is all well and good, but when there is a mountain of evidence against something being true, then continuing to "just believe" is not faith anymore but rather denial.

So here is my 80th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to transcending beyond Mormonism and discovering that There is Sunshine in my Soul - AT LAST!!!

THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL AT LAST
Sung to the tune of There is Sunshine in My Soul Today - #227

There is sunshine in my soul at last,
A joy I can’t disguise.
So glad that I have broken free
From Mormonism’s lies.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is music in my soul at last,
A glorious refrain.
For I did research on my own,
And finally used my brain.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is springtime in my soul at last,
The dreariness is gone.
For now, I know that Joseph lied,
And he was just a con.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is gladness in my soul at last,
Such ecstasy and bliss.
For I have seen the false pretense,
That it is all amiss.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

© Diane Tingen, 12/28/2012

AS I HAVE CAST OFF ALL THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #79

Recognizing the LIES within Mormonism is a recurring theme in the ever-expanding ExMormon Hymn Book.  As I've said before, sometimes I feel like a broken record, repeating the same things over and over again, but in my opinion the subjects on which I dwell bear repeating.  It upsets me greatly that I spent 52 years in a church that is so obviously based on blatant lies and pure deception.  Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I tried to "just believe" as I was told to do, but in the end, I simply couldn't  continue to "have faith" when I realized that the evidence is stacked against Mormonism actually being true.  Ultimately, the only conclusion to which I could come was that Joseph Smith simply made the whole thing up.  In my opinion, there were several reasons that Joseph created  Mormonism, including his drive for power over people, no matter the cost, his desire to be worshiped as a "Prophet of God," and having his perverse sexual desires fulfilled via polygamy and polyandry (which I believe he created for that very reason).  Also in my opinion, Joseph Smith was a sexual predator, preying on people who believed he was a "Prophet of God," which included 10 teenage girls varying in ages from 14 to 19.  I do not say that lightly, and to me, it was unconscionable for him to take advantage of young girls and women in that manner.  The fact that 11 of his polygamous wives were already married to living husbands is further indication to me of the depth of his depravity. 

And so I have cast off all the lies, and am now living an authentic life, simply being myself.  There have been a number of TBMs who have visited my blog and have asked me why I can't just leave Mormonism alone, why I have to be so vocal about my opinions. The answer to that question is contained within this quote:

Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?"  So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?  ~Christopher Miller 

Although most Mormons will scorn me and call me an Apostate who just can't leave it alone, that's okay with me.  While I was an active Mormon, I tried to "just believe" and kept my doubts and questions to myself.  Back then, I was a perfect little Morgbot.  But since discovering the actual truth behind the Mormon Curtain, I cannot stay quiet any longer.  If people who have discovered that the Mormon Church is based on an enormous stack of lies keep quiet about it, then others will continue suffer within Mormonism's walls.  They will do as I did - simply keeping quiet about their doubts and questions, thinking that perhaps they are the only one who don't understand it all, believing that they are not righteous enough to grasp it all, and feeling completely and totally inadequate.  It took me a very long time to finally break free from Mormonism, and if I can do anything to help others recognize the lies, then I see that as my duty and obligation.  Others may disagree with me, but that's okay, too.

So here is my latest LDS Hymn Parody... #79 and counting...

AS I HAVE CAST OFF ALL THE LIES
Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21

As I have cast off all the lies,
And to myself am true.
I've tossed aside what they disguise,
No truthfulness to view.
But those still trapped within its walls
Continue to deny
The false pretense on which it falls
And all the facts belie.

They say that I have gone astray,
Apostatized, you see.
They ask me to just go away,
To simply quiet be.
But I must say my piece at last,
My voice must now be heard.
And I don’t care if they’re aghast,
My words are not absurd.

The Mormon Church was built on lies,
Deception running deep.
So clear to me, no hows or whys,
That secret I can’t keep.
Oh no, the message that I speak
From research on my own,
For it is truth we all should seek,
And not feel we’re alone.

And so you cannot silence me,
The Mormon Church is wrong.
And no, I will not quiet be,
I’ll loudly sing this song.
I know the truth, I’m finally free
From Mormonism’s grip.
But I will not go silently,
My lips they cannot zip.

© Diane Tingen, 12/27/2012

DOES THE GOSPEL SEEM WRONG? LDS Hymn Parody #78

Here's another LDS hymn parody... #78.  Writing these parodies is an interesting experience for me.  Like I've said before, it's very cathartic since it really helps me to work through my issues about the Mormon Church and the fact that I was lied to my entire life.  After discovering that there are so many lies laced throughout Mormonism, I came to the conclusion that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up out of thin air.  Of course, since history shows that he was a charlatan, shyster, and flim-flam man, that's not surprising.  As history shows, Joseph had run many scams before that, but Mormonism turned out to be his biggest hoax.  It is said that Joseph Smith was very charismatic, and because of that he was apparently able to convince a lot of people that he really was a "Prophet of God."  But that is SO NOT TRUE!!

I am so thankful that I finally looked at Mormonism with a critical eye, and began doing research on my own - beyond the facade, the pretense, and the outer shell of falsehoods, and found the actual truth.  Not a pleasant experience, as the picture above says, but unless we eradicate untruths from our lives, we will never reach that point of enlightenment.  But however "destructive" reaching that point of enlightenment was, and may at times continue to be, I wouldn't change anything because I am living an authentic life now, and that is what is most important to me.

DOES THE GOSPEL SEEM WRONG?

Sung to the tune of Does the Journey Seem Long? - #127

Does the gospel seem wrong,
Just deception and lies?
Does it simply not make any sense?
Were you filled with surprise
When you saw the deceit,
When you realized there’s no defense?

When I found out the truth,
I felt hurt and betrayed,
Very sad, I shed so many tears.
But I knew in my heart
And when I faced the facts,
I was lied to for so many years.

It is clear to me now
That the gospel’s not true,
And it’s obvious Joseph Smith lied.
Through my research I learned
The historical facts,
All the evidence I had denied.

When I thought it all through,
So apparent to see,
It is simply not the Word of God.
Can’t accept it on faith
When there’s evidence loud
Shouting “Yes, Mormonism’s a fraud.”

© Diane Tingen, 12/26/12

I FINALLY SAW THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #77

Here's LDS Hymn Parody #77 - another addition to the ever-expanding ExMormon Hymn Book.  Since this hymn parody is obviously self-explanatory, I won't go into a long drawn-out explanation.  Just suffice it to say that I'm so glad that I finally saw the lies laced throughout it all - and once that happened, I came to the conclousion that I could no longer be associated with a church that plays so fast and loose with the truth.

I FINALLY SAW THE LIES
Sung to the tune of We Give Thee But Thine Own - #218

I finally saw the lies
Within the Mormon Church.
Deception they cannot disguise,
The truth for which I search.

For way too many years,
I tried to just believe.
But after shedding many tears,
I saw how they deceive.

The Prophet Joseph Smith
Created such a fraud.
So obvious it’s just a myth,
And not the Word of God.

And so, I walked away,
Rejected the deceit.
For in the end, I could not stay
Apostasy complete.

© Diane Tingen, 12/18/12

I KNOW THAT IT'S FILLED WITH DECEPTION - LDS Hymn Parody #76

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody... #76.  Writing a parody of "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" has been on my "to do" list for quite a while now.  Naturally, since I was born and raised Mormon, I remember singing it innumerable times over the years.  In fact, I even remember singing it during general conference in the Conference Center when it was still fairly new.  Of course, it has been sung at most general conferences since it was published in 1863 - and has been sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir many, many times (and is included on several of their albums, including an album entitled "Praise to the Man," which includes many hymns honoring "the Prophet" Joseph Smith). 
  
Since I no longer believe that the Mormon Church is led by a living Prophet (just as I don't believe that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God or "the Prophet of the Restoration" as Mormons refer to him), it gave me great satisfaction to write this new version.  As this hymn parody says, I KNOW THAT IT'S FILLED WITH DECEPTION, and I'm so thankful for that knowledge.  When I was questioning and as the conflicts I felt inside began to diminish, I began to feel a peace, joy and tranquility that permeated my life and finally made me happy.  After years of struggling, trying to "just believe" and accept it all with faith, I finally came to the conclusion that I was living in denial - that I was clinging to religion that was built on a stack of lies that made no sense.  It was such a relief to finally reach that point.  And so I bid Mormonism adieu - and I have never regretted that decision.  As the last line of this hymn parody says, "I could not continue to follow religion that works to deceive."

I KNOW THAT IT’S FILLED WITH DECEPTION

Sung to the tune of We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet - #19

I know that it’s filled with deception,
So clear from the research I’ve done.
Examining all of the doctrine,
I know that of truth there is none.
In going through its sordid history,
The facts that they try to disguise,
I fully reject Mormonism
Because it is nothing but lies.

I know Joseph Smith was a shyster,
Who made up an enormous fraud
By claiming that he was a Prophet,
And saying that he had seen God.
By researching, it is apparent
That none of what he said was true,
And what others say in the present
Are lies they continue to spew.

I'm thankful that I know the truth now,
Tranquility fills me inside.
Resolved are the conflicts that plagued me,
A joyousness I cannot hide.
And though I am labelled apostate
By Mormons who blindly believe,
I could not continue to follow
Religion that works to deceive.

© Diane Tingen, 11/30/12

OH WINTER NIGHT - Another Alternate Carol

OK, here's another alternate Carol for the Holidays... "Oh Winter Night" (sung to the tune of O Holy Night).  Since this Carol isn't in the LDS Hymn Book, it can't be called an LDS Hymn Parody, but I'm adding it here anyway although I'm not going to add it to the listing of actual hymn parodies. 

This version was inspired by a comment by someone in the ExMormon Facebook group that I mentioned yesterday (when I posted my version of Silent Night), who said that he would appreciate it if I could write secular words to O Holy Night since it is his favorite and it is "just too damn religious" (with which I have to agree). 

To me, there is a huge distinction between being "religious" and "spiritual."  My version of this Carol dwells on love and the beauty of nature.  A person doesn't have to be spiritual, or even believe in God, to appreciate the beauty in the world and the wonder of nature.  Whether the world was created by God or is the result of the "Big Bang" doesn't matter to me.  It is awesome and beautiful no matter how it came to be.

OH WINTER NIGHT

Sung to the tune of O Holy Night

Oh Winter Night, the stars are shining brightly,
The falling snow lay in drifts on the ground.
Everything white in its glistening glory,
Majestic scene, picturesque and profound.
In Wintertime, the world is cold and icy,
So beautiful, a frozen wonderland.
Gaze on the world, and view all of its beauty,
In awe, serene, so infinite and grand.
Oh night, oh Winter Night, oh night serene.

Beauty infused in every waking moment,
With glowing hearts we rejoice every day.
Life is a gift so cherish every remnant,
Treasure each breath and don’t ever dismay.
In Wintertime, the world in solemn slumber,
Is draped in snow, magnificent and white.
Sing and rejoice, let's celebrate in Winter,
Behold the world, reflect on every sight,
And fill your heart with joy forevermore.

© Diane Tingen
11/29/12

SILENT NIGHT, PEACEFUL NIGHT - LDS Hymn Parody #75

Can't believe the 2012 Holiday Season is upon us!!  Recently, Jean Bodie posted something in an ExMormom Facebook group about needing alternate words to "Silent Night," because she can't choke out "Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child" anymore.  So of course, my brain cells started churning, and below is the result.

Of course, since this "Carol" is in the LDS Hymn Book, I'm including this one in my ExMormon Hymn Book and counting it toward my goal - which, with this one, I have now reached since this is #75.  Of course, since I have already have ideas for others to write, I'm going to just keep going until I totally run out of concepts.  There are a few other Holiday Songs for which I am going to attempt writing new words, including "O Holy Night" (since someone else in that Facebook group said that he would appreciate it if I could write secular words to that one since it is his favorite and it is "just too damn religious").  So stay tuned for that one... and some others...

And now, without further ado, here is my version of Silent Night (and there's not a virgin in sight)...

SILENT NIGHT
Sung to the tune of Silent Night, #204

Silent night, peaceful night,
All the world, draped in white,
Drifted snow all over the ground,
Such serenity, nary a sound,
Fills my spirit with love,
Fills my spirit with love.

Silent night, peaceful night,
As I gaze, such a sight.

Peacefulness is filling my soul,

Love surrounding me, making me whole.

As I stand here in awe,
As I stand here in awe.

Silent night, peaceful night,
Fills my heart with delight.
Fantasies play out in my mind,
Winter wonderland, beauty defined,
Pure tranquility now,
Pure tranquility now.

Diane Tingen
11/27/2012