UNVEILING ALL THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #90

BEHIND THE MORMON SPIN.  The longer I have been out of Mormonism, the more I have realized just how much "spin" is involved in this religion.  Of course, we almost expect there to be "spin" in politics - we've come to expect it.  But "spin" in religion?  A person would think that religion would be above that kind of manipulative behavior.  As Javier Bardem once said, "I do respect people's faith, but I don't respect their manipulation of that faith to create fear and control."  Well put.

I recently read an article entitled "Ethical Communications: Spinning the Truth" by Mark S. Putnam, in which he said, "Somewhere between the truth and a lie, there's 'spin.' We hear about politicians spinning bad news in their favor. We see journalists and pundits spin news stories to reflect a certain point of view. It's easy. You too can spin if you look at data, filter it through your biases, and preach it like gospel. The rationale is that it isn't really lying, just putting a bias on what is already true. So what's wrong with it?  Before you choose to spin yourself into trouble, understand that in the context of ethical communication, you should be clear, truthful, and honest in what comes out of your mouth. Spinning is like any other kind of dishonesty, it's wrong. It makes good old fashioned lying sound clever and trendy. It can be said that stupid people lie and smart people spin."

I like that last line - "It can be said that stupid people lie and smart people spin."  But what's even more mystifying for me is that although literally everything about Mormonism is ridiculous (its doctrines, its teachings, and most definitely its history), there are many otherwise intelligent people who are completely caught up in Mormonism and so devoted to its tenets that they steadfastly stand up for its doctrine, teaching and history.  These people are not stupid, and yet they are trapped inside the web of lies that Mormonism propagates.  They truly believe that Joseph Smith was a Seer and Prophet of God who restored the "everlasting gospel in these latter days."  To me, the only explanation for that is that Mormonism has seeped into their psyches and clouded their judgment.  They allow the Mormon Church to dictate how they think and what they accept as true.  They are so entrenched in Mormonism that they are caught in a never-ending spiral of denial.  But that's all part of the spin - the Mormon Church expects its members to simply go along and not question, and if they do question, they are told that when the Prophet speaks, the debate is over.  That type of philosophy works to keep people quiet, and to make sure they don't speak out about their concerns.

In September 2010, I wrote a poem entitled "Spin, Spin, Spin the Truth," (based on "Row, Row, Row Your Boat") which is posted in the Poetry section of this blog.  The first two verses are:

Spin, spin, spin the truth,
Every way you can.
Verily, verily, verily, verily,
Like it all began.

Hide, hide, hide it all,
They can’t know the truth.
History, history, history, history,
Cover up the proof.

The poem goes on for several more verses, and ends with the following verse:

Please, please, please no more,
This is crazy stuff.
Overload, overload, overload, overload,
I have had enough.

Truly, I have had enough.  Enough lies... enough deception... enough denial... enough spinning.  To me, truth is the bottom line.  Is that too much to ask?

   

I will be forever grateful that in the Summer of 2001, I went on that Mormon Church History Tour because that is when I started my independent research.  At first, I simply wanted to know more about church history so I would know what occurred at the key places when we visited those locations.  But then, as I discovered more and more, I began to see that I had been duped all those years into believing that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God and that the Mormon Church was the Word of God.  I often think about the possibility that if I had not gone, I would most likely still be completely caught up in the web of lies that Mormonism weaves.  Thankfully, I saw the lies and was able to extricate myself from its clutches.

And so, here is my 90th LDS Hymn Parody...

UNVEILING ALL THE LIES
Sung to the tune of I Know My Father Lives - #302

Unveiling all the lies,
The truth revealed.
So long denial sheltered me,
Reality concealed,
Reality concealed.

Within the Mormon Church,
A plan devised.
Deception at its very core,
Dishonesty disguised,
Dishonesty disguised.

So much is evident
With open eyes.
Just look beyond the rhetoric,
And you will see the lies,
And you will see the lies.

Through research I have found
The lies within.
The truth is there for all to find,
Behind the Mormon Spin,
Behind the Mormon Spin.

© Diane Tingen, 3/25/2013

WHEN LIES ARE TOLD - LDS Hymn Parody #89

THE TRUTH.
No wiggle room.  No poetic license.

THE FACTS.
No dodging, hedging or dancing around.

Is wanting only ONLY THE TRUTH and JUST THE FACTS too much to ask?  For Mormonism, it seems to be.  The Mormon Church has a very long history of distorting the facts and expecting everyone to believe that they are being upfront and honest when, in fact, that is the furthest thing from the actual truth.

Since leaving Mormonism, though, I've realized that not only is the doctrine false (and the history extremely sordid), but that the way in which the Mormon Church disperses information is suspect as well.  Particularly statistics about its membership numbers and growth rate.

On the Mormonism Research Ministry website, there is a blog entitled Mormon Coffee (It's forbidden, but it's good!).  On that blog, I recently read an entry entitled, "Mormonism's growth figures - what can you believe?" posted on May 7, 2012.  This blog entry starts off by saying:

Screaming front page headline in Wednesday, May 2, 2012’s Salt Lake Tribune (in bold, no less): 

“Multiplying Mormons expand into new turf” Subhead 1: “2010 census: LDS Church is fastest-growth Christian faith in 30 states, report shows” Subhead 2: “Only Muslims, with 67% jump from 2000-2010, outpaces 45% LDS increase.” Anyone picking up the paper on Wednesday received several messages: 1. The Mormons are a Christian faith.2. The church grew by 45.5% over the past decade. 3. The church grew from 4,224,000 US members to 6,144,000 from 2000 to 2010.  

This blog entry went on to say:

These are amazing numbers.  The problem is, the numbers were cooked.  A person who only looked at the front page and the major headlines on Wednesday probably missed the follow-up article on Thursday.  Instead of the front page, a story was placed in Section B of the Utah section next to the page's main article, "Dry winter portends a busy wildfire season."  The one-column article next to it had a much small headline, reading, "LDS Church growth really near 18%."  The subhead:  "Only 40% of Mormons attend church regularly, says researcher."

Really??!!  Cooking the books.  Why does that not surprise me?  For a church that plays fast and loose with the truth, creative accounting is not a big leap.  It's simply "business as usual."  Trying to make the Mormon Church look like it is "the fastest-growth Christian faith in 30 states" is simply part of their marketing scheme.

Of course, some people reading this blog entry (as well as many other entries on my blog) are probably saying, "Well, that's her opinion."  But actually, although everything written here is my opinion, the fact is that my opinions are based on actual facts.  You know, the facts that the Mormon Church goes to great lengths to cover up.  Naturally, any "negative information" about the Mormon Church is characterized by them as "Anti-Mormon Propaganda," which is basically their way of attempting to keep its members from either reading or believing the actual truth about Mormonism.  The Mormon Church even goes so far as to "prohibit" research outside their "approved parameters" (one of the signs of a cult), and includes a question about internet usage and research in the interview to obtain a temple recommend.  From what I've been told, Mormons are denied a temple recommend if they admit that they have looked at this "forbidden information."  If the MOrmon Church had nothing to hide then it wouldn't matter what people read, research or look at, would it?

Mormons are told to "have faith and just believe," regardless of how preposterous the whole thing may seem.  And there are a lot of people who do just that, in essence putting aside all critical thinking and just accepting what they are told to believe.
 
Lies should have no part in anyone's life.  I, for one, do not want to live my life based on lies or half-truths - because in plain and simple terms, "...trust departs when lies are told" (as the below LDS Hymn Parody says - my 89th to date).

WHEN LIES ARE TOLD

Sung to the tune of When Faith Endures, #128

I know the truth, it’s very clear,
The Mormon Church, a false veneer.
For lies are laced throughout it all,
The facts are written on the wall.
For years, I simply went along,
Though deep inside, I sensed it’s wrong.
They say believe, the Lord extolled,

But trust departs when lies are told.

© Diane Tingen, 3/12/2013

WHO'S REALLY THINKING? LDS Hymn Parody #88

It never ceases to amaze me that there are very intelligent people who are members of the Mormon Church, and yet they seem to suspend their intellect in order to continue to believe in Mormonism.  Take my brother, for instance.  He is a very intelligent man who has a Master's Degree in Library Science (albeit from BYU).  He has been Assistant Director of a library in a Georgia town for many years.  He has a lot of information stuffed into his brain - and what he doesn't know off the top of his head, he can find in an instant.  But when it comes to the Mormon Church, he epitomizes the edict to "just believe."  No critical thinking seems to be going on - at least, not as far as Mormonism is concerned.

From 2006-2010, I lived in Georgia - and when I first moved there, I told my brother that I had not been to church in almost two years.  Of course, he said, "Well, it's never too late to go back."  When I told him that I didn't want to go back, he said, "It all boils down to whether or not you believe Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God.  If he was a Prophet of God, then it's all true.  But if he wasn't, then it's all a lie.  As for me, I believe that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God who restored the gospel in these latter days, and so I believe that the Mormon Church is the Word of God."  It amazed me at the time just how rote he sounded - almost like a recording.  But then, since our parents joined the church when I was only 10 months old, and he is 17 months older than me, he was brainwashed from a very young age just as I was.  Sadly, though, he has never progressed to the point of really questioning it, in earnest.  At least, that's the way it seems.

Why doesn't evidence mean anything to the Mormons?  Facts do not lie.  But they don't seem to be concerned with evidence or facts.  Any time something comes up that doesn't make sense, they go into auto-pilot and repeat this mantra:  "We are mere mortals and do not understand the ways of God.  We cannot understand everything in this life, but if we remain faithful and endure to the end, then our minds will be opened to all things and we will know that it was worth it."  I heard this little speech from my late father so many times over the years that I lost count. 

So here is my 88th LDS Hymn Parody - and truly, when it comes to Mormonism, Who's Really Thinking???

WHO’S REALLY THINKING?
Sung to the tune of Who’s on the Lord’s Side? - #260

1. Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
They simply go along,
Have faith and just believe.
But it is all a fraud,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

2. Though Mormonism claims
To be The One True Church,
That claim is fraudulent,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Just research on your own,
And you will plainly see,
It is a stack of lies,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

3. When I began to think,
To really use my brain,
The question would arise,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
The Mormons just accept
Whatever they are told,
They cling to all the lies,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

4. The truth has set me free,
For I have walked away,
And now I ask myself,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
The Mormons are not wise
To blindly just accept
The doctrine they are taught,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

© Diane Tingen, 2/28/2013

IF YOU JUST GO ALONG - LDS Hymn Parody #87

For so many years, I just went along with whatever the Mormon Church told me was true.  If they had told me the wall was red, rather than blue as I saw it, I would have accepted that the wall was red and there was something wrong with my eyes and my ability to see correctly.  Even when I did begin to have doubts, I put them up on my shelf, just like a good Mormon girl/woman, and believed that if I prayed more, read the scriptures more, studied more, attended all my meetings, etc., etc., ad nauseum, then somehow it would all miraculously make sense.  Sadly, though, that never happened - and when I finally began doing my own independent research (in violation of the mandate that Mormons are only supposed to read approved materials because everything else is faith-destroying Anti-Mormon Propaganda), I began to realize that I had been duped my entire life.

There are a lot of Mormons out there who just go along, who follow the admonition to "just believe."  But what they are putting their faith in is actually an enormous stack of lies.  If I could talk with each one of them, I would tell them to please do their own independent research - not to let the Mormon Church pull the wool over their eyes any longer, but to find out for themselves.  A religious organization telling its membership not to research outside the approved parameters is one sign of a cult.  If there was nothing to hide, then it wouldn't matter what they read or look at.  I know Mormons don't want to accept the fact that their church is actually a cult - I denied that for many years.  When I would hear the Mormon Church called a cult, I would become insulted and strongly defend it saying, "Oh no, it's not a cult!!"  But in reality, the Mormon Church is most definitely a cult as is confirmed by studying the characteristics of cults on websites such as http://www.cultwatch.org/ (and in particular, see http://www.howcultswork.com/).  Also, please see Stephen Hassan's website, http://www.freedomofmind.com/.

And so, here is my 87th LDS Hymn Parody, highlighting the fact that Joseph Smith was a crook who invented Mormonism for his own purposes - and ever since his death, other men have perpetuated the hoax that he created way back then.  I just wish that those who are trapped inside the Mormonism could see the real truth because by accepting everything blindly, they are giving their power away. 

IF YOU JUST GO ALONG
Sung to the tune of Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words - #232

If you just go along and don’t question,
Accept what they say to believe,
Every piece of the dubious doctrine,
Denying they work to deceive.
Allowing the church to entrap you,
As in Mormonism you stay,
Not looking at each contradiction,
But giving your power away.

(Chorus)
It’s so clear if you look, Joseph Smith was a crook,
And he made it up from the start.
So don’t just go along, ask some questions,
Do research and take it to heart.

Looking back, I can see the denial,
With sorrow, I sadly recall
When some doubts would arise, I would squelch them,
I blindly accepted it all.
But finally, I started to question
In earnest, my research began.
And soon I could see Mormonism
Was made up by one twisted man.

(Chorus)
It’s so clear if you look, Joseph Smith was a crook,
And he made it up from the start.
So don’t just go along, ask some questions,
Do research and take it to heart.

© Diane Tingen, 2/23/2013

JOSEPH, JOSEPH, WHAT A SCOUNDREL - LDS Hymn Parody #86

Some of these LDS Hymn Parodies just seem to write themselves, and my most current one is a prime example of that.  Joseph, Joseph, What a Scoundrel - truer words have never been written.

 

But then, it's like the meme says that is posted on my other blog - (http:/exmormonhymnbook.blogspot.com) -

"LDS Hymn Parodies - Because they're just asking for it."

As anyone who follows my LDS Hymn Parodies knows, Joseph Smith is the subject of many of them - and rightly so, since he's the man who made the whole thing up, out of thin air.  In studying history, it is very clear that Joseph was a scoundrel and a shyster.  He was a charlatan, a treasure seeker, always out for a quick buck.  According to history, he was also very charismatic, and it was because of that charisma that he was able to convince a lot of people that he was a Prophet and Seer.  Indeed, Joseph found his goldmine in creating Mormonism - and in doing so, he gained power and control over a lot of people.  Because of that power, he was even able to create and practice Polygamy and Polyandry, coercing many young girls and women to become one of his 33 wives.
And so, here is my 86th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to "Brother Joseph."

JOSEPH, JOSEPH, WHAT A SCOUNDREL

Sung to the tune of Israel, Israel, God is Calling - #7

Joseph, Joseph, what a scoundrel,
He created such a fraud.
Mormonism was his angle,
Touted as the Word of God.
Pure deception, pure deception,
Just a hoax, a false façade.
Pure deception, pure deception,
Just a hoax, a false façade.

Joseph, Joseph, what a shyster,
Not a Prophet and a Seer.
He was clearly an imposter,
Not a tiny bit sincere.
Do some research, do some research,
All the facts are crystal clear.
Do some research, do some research,
All the facts are crystal clear.

Joseph, Mormons still revere you,
Worship you, their Prophet dear.
Faced with truth, they loudly argue,
Close their ears so they can’t hear.
Mormonism, Mormonism,
False religion, very clear.
Mormonism, Mormonism,
False religion, very clear.

Joseph, Joseph, very callous,
Made it up, no truth at all.
Mormonism, clearly bogus,
Really was the height of gall.
So deceptive, so deceptive,
Truth is written on the wall.
So deceptive, so deceptive,
Truth is written on the wall.

© Diane Tingen, 02/22/2013

SO PEACEFUL NOW - LDS Hymn Parody #85

Looking back on my years as an active Mormon, I remember so many times when I was riddled with doubt.  Trying to push those lingering feelings aside seemed useless, but despite feeling that way, I just kept going - pushing forward, putting my doubts up on my imaginary shelf, and telling myself that I just needed to be more faithful and trusting.  After all, being born and raised Mormon, I had basically been taught that if I was having trouble accepting things, then it was something within me, not a flaw in the doctrine or teaching.  A type of brainwashing, in my opinion.  Questioning was okay as long I conceded that in the end, the doctrine was perfect and I was a mere mortal, struggling with attempting to comprehend eternal principles.  As my father used to tell me, "We may not understand it all, but if we remain faithful and endure to the end, someday our minds will be opened and we will understand it all - and then we will know that it was worth it."  Somehow, though, I could never get to the point where I felt comfortable with that supposed knowledge.

Once I began questioning in earnest, though, and began doing my own independent research, I started realizing that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies.  It was then that I realized I had allowed the Mormon Church to consume my life by letting them dictate what I was to believe as well as my every thought and action.  I had simply gone along my entire life, and even though I had struggled to understand and accept it all, I had remained a devout Mormon through it all. 

Was I happy in that perpetual state of uncertainty?  No, I wasn't.  True happiness had eluded me because I had been living a life that someone else had hoisted on me and with which I wasn't in harmony.  It was then that I realized I needed to extricate myself from Mormonism and live an authentic life.  Once I did that, I finally reached a state of mind that I had longed for my entire life.  Peace.  Total and complete peace within my mind and soul - and that is priceless.

So here is my 85th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the peace I have felt within myself ever since putting Mormonism behind me and moving forward into an authentic life.   

SO PEACEFUL NOW
Sung to the tune of Our Savior's Love - #113

So peaceful now,
The truth has set me free at last.
Think about how
The struggling has passed.
Tried to believe,
But so much made such little sense,
The lies they weave
Are clear... just false pretense.

For many years
I put so much up on my shelf,
Shed many tears
So torn within myself.
But now I know
The Mormon Church is built on lies,
The facts all show
That there… is no disguise.

Such joy inside,
The fear and doubt have left my soul.
My tears have dried
And I am finally whole.
No doubts remain
That Mormonism is a fraud.
Deception plain,
It’s not… the Word of God.

© Diane Tingen, 2/20/2013

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY - LDS Hymn Parody #84

My latest LDS Hymn Parody (#84) addresses the sordid history of the Mormon Church.  Having been born and raised Mormon, and having stayed in the church for 52 years, it baffles me now how I could have gone along for so long when it is so obviously false.  I thank my lucky stars that I went on that Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, and that I decided to do my own research before, during and after the trip, because otherwise, I may have stayed in the Mormon Church my entire life.  Sadly, I used to be very trusting, naive and gullible.  Almost complacent.  Although I had many questions for many years that I put up on my "shelf," it wasn't until I began to discover the actual history of the Mormon Church that I began to question in earnest.  The Summer of 2001 was the turning point for me.

When I started writing these LDS hymn parodies, I never imagined that I would write 84 of them - and since I have other ideas on the back-burner, I'm sure I will eventually write even more than that.  As my daughter put it, I seem to have a knack for blasphemy (said tongue-in-cheek since she's an ExMormon, too).

So here is my 84th LDS Hymn parody, dedicated to Joseph Smith and the hoax he created and perpetuated.  May he NOT rest in peace.

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY
Sung to the tune of Improve the Shining Moments – # 226

Reviewing Mormon history
From 1830 on
When Joseph Smith created
One big religious con.
He was a practiced swindler,
A charlatan supreme.
Inventing Mormonism
Was really just a scheme.

Review the Book of Mormon,
So clearly plagiarized
By Joseph Smith and Rigdon,
They cleverly disguised
The origins and background
Of “scripture” they revised,
A book by Mr. Spalding,
So easily surmised.

Such sordid and disturbing
Events were taking place.
A fraudulent religion,
What a complete disgrace.
From New York to Ohio,
The Kirtland Banking fraud,
It’s clear that Mormonism
Is not the Word of God.

And then on to Missouri
As Joseph led the way,
Convincing all the members
This is where they would stay.
But people in Missouri
Soon tired of the Saints,
Extermination order
Then followed their complaints.

The Saints out of Missouri,
To Illinois they fled.
Just following their Prophet,
Believing what he said.
In Nauvoo they did prosper,
But shit soon hit the fan
As Joseph Smith’s influence
Grew more throughout the land.

Polygamy created,
Commandment, Joseph said.
His motives were suspicious
As 10 young girls he wed.
And he wed married women
With husbands living still,
Til 33 they numbered,
Just couldn’t get his fill.

The name of Fanny Alger
Is right a-top the list,
Though Cowdery loudly argued
And simply did insist,
That what they had together
Was plainly an affair,
But Joseph was insulted,
Legitimate, he'd swear. 

Polygamy increasing,
The Nauvoo Temple built.
Masonic ceremonies,
Soon introduced full tilt.
Then Joseph Smith declaring
For President he’d run,
Though it was not too likely
That Joseph would have won.

That was in January
Of 1844,
And only six months later,
His death would close the door
On all that he envisioned,
The power that he craved,
Wherever he could get it,
Immoral and depraved.

They say he was a martyr,
In Carthage Jail, he died.
While there, a mob attacked him,
From death, he could not hide.
But martyr does not fit him,
When studying the facts,
He was incarcerated
For some illegal acts.

Would a religious martyr
Destroy a printing press
And then burn down a building?
Surely God would not bless
Such obvious aggression
When truth had been revealed,
Polygamy uncovered
By Joseph Smith concealed.

I think it is appalling
That Mormons everywhere
Accept the gospel doctrine
And simply aren’t aware
Of things within the history
That cry out “It’s not true,”
Exposing Mormonism,
Deceptive, through and through.

Examine Mormon history,
Alarming facts unfold.
So camoflagued and whitewashed,
Some facts are never told
Within a Mormon chapel,
Where ignorance they breed,
Just say it didn't happen,
Denial is their creed.

Of course, the facts of history
Are totally obscured
By Mormons in denial,
Actual truth detoured.
But anyone reviewing
The facts and evidence
Will see red flags a-plenty
If they use common sense.

© Diane Tingen, 2/5/2013

Interesting reading:

http://historyofmormonism.com/

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ldsbom.htm

http://solomonspalding.com/index3.htm

http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_spaldingmanuscript.html

Interesting pictures:

 

Three of the earliest Mormons:
Sidney Rigdon, Oliver Cowdery, and Joseph Smith

Title page of one of the earliest anti-Mormon publications,
E. D. Howe's Mormonism Unvailed: Or, A Faithful
 Account of that Singular Imposition and Delusion,
 from its Rise to the Present Time (1834), which claimed
 that the Book of Mormon was written by Solomon Spalding.

An anti-Mormon Political Cartoon from the late 19th Century

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #83

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH.  That phrase has always bothered me, even when I was a TBM.  So rigid and presumptuous.

My late father was very pious and dogmatic about Mormonism, and actually told many people (including my sister-in-law's sister) that if they didn't join the Mormon Church, they were going to HELL.  The man was not known for his tact or diplomacy. 

Since that phrase did bother me so much, and I loved to pull my father's chain, I used to tell him a joke that goes like this:

A man died and went to Heaven.  As he approached the Pearly Gates, he was met by St. Peter who told him he was going to give him a tour of Heaven.  They started walking around, and St. Peter pointed out areas where different people were congregated – saying, “Those are the Catholics, and the Lutherans are over there.  The Presbyterians are over there, and there are the Methodists.  The Buddhists are over there, and there are the Baptists.”

Looking puzzled, the man asked St. Peter, “OK, but who are those people way off in the distance?” to which St. Peter responded, “Oh, those are the Mormons.  They think they’re the only ones here.”

Needless to say, my father didn’t like it when I told him this joke, and it would launch him into a dissertation on “the way things are” during which he would repeat his routine about how, in essence, “Mormons are the only ones going to Heaven, and everyone else is going to Hell.”  After all, he would say, that is what the Temples are for – to baptize and do all necessary ordinances for our dead ancestors who did not accept the gospel (according to the Mormon Church) while they were here on earth.  Then my father would ask me, “Why would the Mormon Church build all those temples and do all those ordinances if it wasn’t for an actual purpose?”  Oh, I don’t know, Dad.  Maybe it’s because they are crazy?

As I got older, I also voiced my opinions about Church doctrine to my father several times.  When I talked to him about my thoughts, he told me that my “liberal attitudes were going to get me into trouble one day.”  At the time when he said that, I thought about responding to that statement, disagreeing with him or telling him more about how I felt, but I resisted the urge since I didn’t want it to appear that I was goading him on or trying to provoke him in any way.  Now I wish I had voiced more of my opinions to him because then at least I would feel that I had expressed myself entirely to him.  Maybe one day, I’ll get the chance to do that in the Afterlife (that is, if I don’t go to HELL since my father will, undoubtedly, be in the Celestial Kingdom – at least, in his own mind).



Simply take out "Restored Church of God" and replace it with
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
After all, the LDS Church (the Mormons) is
THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE CHURCH OF GOD.
Yeah, right...

So here is my 83rd LDS hymn parody, highlighting that incredibly annoying phrase, "The One True Church."  And I think I'll dedicate it to my late father who, if there is an Afterlife, is most likely turning over in his grave at this point, convinced that his own daughter is going to HELL - or maybe even Outer Darkness.

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of The Morning Breaks, #1

The one true church, the Mormons say,
Interpret truth in their own way.
Deny the facts, the evidence,
Deny the facts, the evidence,
And never use their common sense.

They say have faith and just believe,
So obvious that they deceive.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church is just a myth.

For many years, I went along
Though deep inside, I knew it's wrong.
But til I did my own research,
But til I did my own research,
I stayed within the Mormon Church.

As I stuck things up on my shelf,
And just denied my real self.
But then I could pretend no more,
But then I could pretend no more,
And so I finally closed the door.

I saw the lies and walked away,
Their twisted game I will not play.
I've seen the facts, unwoven lies,
I’ve seen the facts, unwoven lies,
There simply is no compromise.

A great reward to just be me,
To live my life authentically.
My own instincts I won't betray,
My own instincts I won’t betray
Close off my mind the Mormon Way.

© Diane Tingen, 1/29/2013

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST - LDS Hymn Parody #81

Everyone needs a Bucket List - all the things you want to do before you die.  There are many things on my Bucket List, and I'm trying to live my life so that many of those things I want to do before I shed this mortal coil.  But for me, the most important thing has already been done.  After coming to the realization that Mormonism is a fraud, I left it all behind - and finally became myself.  THE REAL ME.  

Lately, I've been thinking about how much I have changed over the past few years since leaving Mormonism.  I used to be very complacent.  Didn't want to make waves.  Tried to blend into the background.  Took everything so seriously.  Especially Mormonism.  I didn't understand many things about my "chosen religion," and I had many questions, but I still went along.  Just like a good little Mormon girl/woman.  What irks me the most if that for most of my life, I wasn't intellectually curious enough to research or study anything that wasn't "authorized" by the Mormon Church.  I accepted whatever they told me.  And whatever I didn't understand, I put on my "shelf," thinking that I must not be righteous enough to comprehend those doctrines or principles.  I believed the hype that I just needed to study more, pray more, attend more church meetings, and try harder to be a good Mormon woman.  Didn't make me feel very satisfied, but I was certain that was the price I needed to pay for not being "good enough."

Simply put, I was the Mormon version of my true self - who I thought I was supposed to be.  NOT THE REAL ME.

Leaving Mormonism is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Shedding the shackles of the past freed me to finally BE MYSELF... and I've never been happier than I am right now.  When I discovered all the lies laced throughout Mormonism, it was quite a shock.  The more I researched, the more I discovered, and the more flabbergasted I became.  Layer upon layer, I uncovered the deception, the intricate web of lies created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated through the years by many other men.  At first, I didn't know what to do, but in the end, I knew I had no other choice than to disassociate myself from the Mormon Church.

When I finally stopped going to church with no intention of every returning is when I finally began to realize who I really am.  A strong, competent, intellectually curious woman who spent many years with her true personality being suppressed and squelched by a religion that plays very fast and loose with the truth.  Of course, I was very angry that I had spent 52 years in such a religion - and in many ways, I felt that my life had been stolen from me.  I questioned why my parents even joined the church when I was only 10 months old, essentially subjecting me to a Mormon life without my consent.  I kicked myself for not being more intellectually curious at a younger age because perhaps then I would have discovered the lies sooner.  Basically, I had let them lead me along for so many years.  A mindless sheep.  But eventually, I worked through the anger and realized that if I let those types of thoughts define my life, then Mormonism is still winning.  That's when I decided to start this blog, which has been a great outlet for my many thoughts about Mormonism, its lies, and the effects of the deception it perpetuates.

And so, below is an LDS Hymn Parody I have written about My Bucket List.  Although there are many other things on my Bucket List, #1 is already checked off.  SIMPLY BE MYSELF.  DONE.

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST
Sung to the tune of High on the Mountain Top - #5

High on my Bucket List,
The things I want to do
Before I leave this world
And bid this life adieu.
I simply want to be myself,
And empty off my Mormon shelf.

For way too many years
My shelf did overflow,
Just shoving things up there
And watching it all grow.
But then I saw the stack of lies,
The truth revealed, no more disguise.

That’s when I finally found
The courage from inside
To simply be myself,
And I no longer hide
From what the truth has done for me,
It made me strong and set me free.

So thankful that I’m not
Still caught within the Church,
I’m Mormonism Free,
Their doctrine I besmirch.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church, a total myth.

No shadow of a doubt,
I know it’s filled with lies.
I've seen the evidence
Each TBM denies.
I wish they’d look with open eyes,
Then they might say their own goodbyes.

So now my Bucket List,
A check by #1,
The most important thing
I finally have done.
I've shed the pain and dried my tears,
In peace I’ll live throughout my years.

© Diane Tingen, 1/21/2013

SO....

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR BUCKET LIST...