This subject was recently delved into on one of my favorite Ex-Mormon blogs, Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta). She covered this topic in two posts - Why Ex-Mormons Won't Leave the Church Alone, Parts 1 and 2. In those posts, Donna brought out the two basic reasons why so many Ex-Mormons won't (can't?) leave the church alone:
Reason #1: Because the church doesn't leave us alone.
In her first blog post, Donna cited the below:
- Mormon missionaries travel worldwide, knocking on doors and sharing their message.
- Members are encouraged to share the gospel with their neighbors and friends, also to reconvert "inactives," even when the so-called "inactive" has made it clear that he or she is no longer interested in attending.
- The church springs for in-your-face advertising: TV commercials, billboard, even a feature length film.
- Mormon temples and historical sites boast attractive, well-manned visitors' centers.
- They have a big choir that regularly tours and records.
- High profile Mormons in business, politics and the entertainment industry publicly embrace the faith. In 2012 one even ran for president.
- The Mormon Church has encouraged/pressured its members to vote for and donate money to political causes that impose its narrow values on society at large. For example, the extreme liquor laws in Utah, the successful opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment in the late 70's and early 80's, various gambling initiatives, and perhaps most notoriously, the successful passage of Proposition 8 that banned gay marriage in California back in 2008.
Reason #2: Because being Mormon was an integral part of our life experience.
In Part 2, Donna's post included the below:
Five years ago I dedicated a post to my husband, Mark. It was a brief bio that outlined his happy Mormon childhood, his fond mission memories, our courtship at BYU, etc. Then I went on to quickly explain why we eventually decided to leave Mormonism.
Minutes after the post published, I received a person message from an old friend who scolded me for being negative about the church, called me a liar, and suggested that "people like me" should "just leave" and never talk about the church again.
Excuse me? Never talked about this overwhelming experience that dominated our formative years and consumed over two decades of our lives? Forget "why"? How, exactly, does one do that?
Yes, how does one do that???... especially someone like me who was Mormon for FIVE DECADES OF MY LIFE??!!!
Very good outline of the reasons - I totally agree with all that Donna posted.
For me, though, there are a couple more reasons:
Reason #3: The Mormon Church stifled me for far too long, and now that I've found my own voice, I must speak out.
As any Mormon or former Mormon knows, the Mormon Church attempts to stifle anyone who has a differing opinion from the accepted viewpoint. Oh, you can question things, but as soon as you are given the "Mormon-approved answer," your questions are supposed to stop and you are supposed to simply accept whatever you are told. Critical thinking of any kind is completely discouraged, if not prohibited. This is what leads so many Mormons to push down their real feelings and put their issues on imaginary shelves, many of which finally tumble after too many years of performing that futile exercise.
So since having broken that horrible cycle and having found my own voice, no one is going to keep me quiet about my findings. Naturally, the Mormon Church would prefer that those who leave the church would do so quietly and keep their findings and opinions to themselves - but I, for one, refuse to do that.
Reason #4: Because unless people talk about what they've discovered, it won't do anyone else any good.
That's why I created this blog and why I post on it regularly. It is my avenue for getting the word out... that the Mormon Church is a total and complete fraud that, in my opinion, was made by from the get-go by Joseph Smith and has been perpetuated ever since by many others (for their own purposes). If I can reach only one person through my blog who is investigating or questioning Mormonism, then I'll feel like it's all been worth it.
And now, here is my 121st LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to all those TBMs who as that ridiculous question...
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE THE CHURCH ALONE?
Sung to the tune of God Be With You Til We Meet Again ‑ #152
1. Why can’t you just leave the church alone?
Why do you just keep on bashing
What the Mormon Church is teaching?
Why can’t you just leave the church alone?
(Chorus)
Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Mormon Church do not besmirch.
Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Why can’t you just leave the church alone?
Mormon Church do not besmirch.
Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Why can’t you just leave the church alone?
2. Why should I just leave the church alone?
Why should I not share my findings
And so many of its failings?
Why should I just leave the church alone?
Why should I not share my findings
And so many of its failings?
Why should I just leave the church alone?
[Chorus]
Speaking out, speaking out,
Speaking out, that is my route.
Speaking out, speaking out,
Why should I just leave the church alone?
Speaking out, that is my route.
Speaking out, speaking out,
Why should I just leave the church alone?
3. Why should I just leave the church alone?
I won’t let them crush my spirit
Or just stick me in the closet!!
No, I’ll never leave the church alone.
Or just stick me in the closet!!
No, I’ll never leave the church alone.
[Chorus]
Full of lies, full of lies,
Full of lies, there’s no disguise.
Full of lies, there’s no disguise.
Full of lies, full of lies,
That’s why I won’t leave the church alone.
That’s why I won’t leave the church alone.
5 comments:
Hello,
My name is John Draper. You don't know me from Adam. What led me to you is I'm a first-time novelist who is furiously marketing his first book, A Danger to God Himself. As such, I'm continually scouring the internet looking for blogs who might be willing to review my book.
My book is about a Mormon missionary who goes insane on his mission. I'd like to send you a free copy, paperback or Kindle.
Let me tell you the story behind my story:
Writing this novel cost me my religion. I’m not bitter or anything. Actually, it was liberating.
I started the book eight years ago as an Evangelical who wanted to skewer Mormonism. The book took me eight years to write. I probably read 25 books on Mormonism (and read everything on Mormonthink at least twice) and 25 books on schizophrenia. What’s more, I started attending a local ward undercover.
Long story short, I saw that devout Latter-day Saints had the same religion I had, really. Basically, we both loved God and Christ and we wanted to serve God and live more like Christ. I had to admit, the only difference between us was the words we used to describe our experience.
Further, I came to realize that the only reason I believed what I believed was that someone had told me to believe it.
I was just like so many Latter-day Saints and Evangelicals—if not all.
Bottom line, I became an agnostic.
The novel is narrated in the first person by Kenny, the missionary companion who watches his companion, Jared, succumb to schizophrenia. At first, Kenny and others assume that the voices Jared is hearing and the visions he’s seeing are from Heavenly Father.
But as Jared gets sicker and sicker, Kenny has to rethink his whole view of God and how God does or doesn’t interact with the world. Kenny’s journey became my journey: theist to, at best, deist.
So . . . I’d like to send you a free copy of my novel. I’m hoping you’ll write a book review—good, bad, or indifferent. Or maybe you’d like to interview me. Or maybe I could do a guest post.
If nothing else, you get a free book out of this.
Obviously, I want to sell more books, but I really think this book would be of interest to your subscribers. I think they will be able to see themselves in Kenny.
I know the book's not for everyone. My mother, for example, loved it but complained it contained too much vulgarity. I'm not sure how much vulgarity is too much, but the book does contain 91 F Bombs. (I counted.)
Let me know if you would like to talk more.
Thanks for your time
-john
Hoju1959@gmail.com
What a load of cods wallop and yes I am a TBM ....let me ask you something? Do you honestly believe that something that was built on a lie could survive even one year let alone nearly 200 years? Thought not.
OK,another Anonymous post. People are so bold when they remain anonymous, but of course the answer to this one's question is rather obvious (even if he/she did proceed to answer it incorrectly). Using this Anonymous poster's logic, since the Catholic Church has "survived" for thousands of years, and there are many other religions that are quite a bit older than Mormonism, that would make the Catholic Church and all the others true as well. Surviving for many years doesn't establish whether something is true or not. It only shows that people can be duped on a large scale, and once they have begun to believe in something, it's hard to let go and admit that they have been duped. From all I've read, Joseph Smith was charismatic - and he was also manipulative, deceitful, and in it for his own purposes. The fact that after he died others decided to carry on his "legacy" doesn't mean that what he was preaching was true. What does show whether something is true or not is facts and evidence, and as far as I'm concerned all the facts and evidence point to the fact that Mormonism is an enormous scam and a total fraud. If this Anonymous poster would like to debate this some more, I'd be open to it. I'm easy to find, right here, out in the open, not hiding behind an Anonymous facade.
Dear Anonymous Coward,
"Do you honestly believe that something that was built on a lie could survive even one year let alone nearly 200 years?"
Scientology, pyramid scams, FOX News, corporate welfare, just like the sex cult that your con-man-cum-phrophet (Joseph Smith, Jr, in case you can't connect sarcastic qualifiers to your own psychobabble) were all founded on lies and are alive and well in the world today.
If "Intelligence is the glory of god", as D&C 93:36 claims, you've failed to deliver on his expectations. (by the way, it's spelled "codswallop")
I'll write a contemporaneous song for your edification:
Through 23 degrees we tilt
as the earth wobbles 'round the Sun
Near Solstice we're as close to Sol
as physics lets us come
At Solstice days start getting longer
each day we gain some light
And that's why I choose to celebrate
and I know I've chosen right
So you can have you "Pay Lay Ale"
and act out you pseudo-masonic rites
and practice signs and seals and tokens
or get dunked on the backs of a bunch of oxen
Me, I'll take the science,
Which makes my spirit soar
and gives me useful answers
and makes me question more
Anyhoo... Good luck with your cognitive dissonance resolution - have a Joyous Solstice - it's the real reason for the season!
Age does not make it true. Logical fallacy. Islam is older, must be true, witch hunting lasted longer than mormonism has been around. People believed the earth to be the center of the universe for really long time. Must be true...
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