ExMormon Hymn Book: LDS Hymn Parodies

LDS Hymn Parodies - F

FAMILIES ARE SO IMPORTANT

Sung to the tune of As I Search the Holy Scriptures, #277

Families are so important,
By the Mormon Church defined
As eternally connected,
Ever with their lives entwined.

Temple wedding ceremonies
Should include the families
Even if they’re not all Mormon,
Please remove the boundaries.

Just allowing civil unions
To take place before they’re sealed
In a Mormon Temple wedding
Would consideration yield.

Far too many are excluded,
It is time for compromise.
Changing things to show compassion
Would go far in people’s eyes.

© Diane Tingen, 7/11/2011

FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER
LDS Hymn Book, #300

I have a family here on earth,
They are so dear to me,
But they believe that I won’t be
With them eternally.

(Chorus)
Families can be together forever
In Christianity.
Though Mormons all believe
The doctrines they receive,
Yet I know the Lord still loves me, too,
I know the Lord still loves me, too.

I have a daughter and a son,
So special and unique.
But when they marry, I won’t hear
The vows that they will speak.

(Chorus)
Families can be together forever,
As Mormons testify.
But there’s a cruel ban,
Through Mormonism’s plan,
So I won't be able to attend
Because the Mormon Church won't bend.

© Diane Tingen and Jean Bodie, 7/5/2011

FAR, FAR AWAY FROM THE LIFE I ONCE KNEW
Sung to the tune of Far, Far Away on Judea’s Plains, #212

Far, far away from the life I once knew,
Opened my eyes and the truth came into view.
Mormon no more, Mormon no more,
Mormon no more, I have closed the door
On the lies they fed to me,
On the lies they fed to me.

For many years, I believed what they said,
But then I started to use my brain instead.
Mormon no more, Mormon no more,
Mormon no more, I have closed the door
On the lies they fed to me,
On the lies they fed to me.

Told to have faith when I started to doubt,
But as I struggled, I just wanted to shout
What a buffoon, what a buffoon,
What a buffoon, I must be a loon
To believe the lies they teach,
To believe the lies they teach.

Now I'm upset that I stayed for so long,
Not realizing the party line is wrong.
Mormon no more, Mormon no more,
Mormon no more, but I know the score,
It’s not what it claims to be,
It’s not what it claims to be.

© Diane Tingen, 6/6/2011

THE 15 MORMON MEN WHO CALL THE SHOTS
Sung to the tune of An Angel from on High - #13

The 15 Mormon men

Who call the shots today
Are really just a joke
With all the games they play.
Enforcing laws and making rules
When they are just a bunch of tools.
Enforcing laws and making rules
When they are just a bunch of tools.

There’s Monson and Uchtdorf,
And Eyring at the top.
With others in the Twelve,
A truly frightful crop.
They’re out of touch and very old,
Their hands and hearts extremely cold.
They’re out of touch and very old,
Their hands and hearts extremely cold.

It’s very clear to me
That all the 15 men
Know that it’s a fraud
But they all say Amen.
They spew the Mormon Party Line
As truthfulness they redefine.
They spew the Mormon Party Line
As truthfulness they redefine.

With Boyd K. Packer gone,
His reign of terror through.
A truly dreadful man
Who ugliness would spew.
And all the awful things he said,
His legacy now that he’s dead.
And all the awful things he said,
His legacy now that he’s dead.

But in the Mormon Church,
Such venom is revered.
And those like BKP
Are not considered weird.
And so the others follow course,
And ride the same old tired horse.
And so the others follow course,
And ride the same old tired horse.

FOR THE BEAUTY OF THE TRUTH

Sung to the tune of For the Beauty of the Earth, #92

For the beauty of the truth,
Sorting through apparent lies.
Seeing that it’s all made up,
Facts that brought me much surprise.
Truth is what it’s all about,
Knowing without any doubt.

For the beauty of the facts,
Recognizing every clue.
When the evidence is there,
Standing up for what is true.
Truth is what it’s all about,
Knowing without any doubt.

Finding truth, a worthy search,
Ripping off the veiled disguise.
Finally seeing what is false,
Then discarding all the lies.
Truth is what it’s all about,
Knowing without any doubt.

For the joy of feeling free,
Living an authentic life.
Finally facing all the facts,
Free from all the pain and strife.

Mormonism is not true,
So I bid it all adieu.

© Diane Tingen, 5/29/2012

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MY EXIT FROM MORMONISM

As a preface to my thoughts about Mormonism (and my exit from my lifelong religion), I would like to share the following quote:

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the
whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley,
Interview, "The Mormons,"
PBS Documentary, April 2007

In essence, after researching the roots of Mormonism, which obviously form its foundation, as well as examining its doctrine in depth, I have concluded that it is a great fraud. Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, and remaining LDS until my early 50's, facing that realization was very difficult and was not done lightly.

SOME BACKGROUND:
In the Summer of 2001, I went on a Mormon Church History Tour. Before going, I decided to do some research so I would know more about what occurred at the key places when we visited them. But that was the beginning of the end for me as I discovered more and more of the sordid history of the Mormon Church. Soon, I began to realize that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up and that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. Sadly, I also began to realize that I had allowed the Mormon Church to pull the wool over my eyes for a very long time. But even with that realization, it took me quite a while longer to finally break away because of how intricately my life was tied up in Mormonism and how long I had been blinded by the lies Mormonism perpetuates (which, of course, is what they are counting on).

But finally, I did break away - and I have now been Mormonism Free for over 8 years. What I have realized during the ensuing years is that my intellectual curiosity was squelched by Mormonism. Being told to "just believe" and "have faith" was very detrimental to my psyche, particularly since so much made little sense. Trying to rationalize through everything had a negative effect on me as well, making me very confused and uncomfortable. Since that time, I have discovered that these types of feelings are called "cognitive dissonance" (a feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions). Cognitive dissonance is discussed in greater length in a book I have written, which is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. Since leaving Mormonism behind, I have grown so much and have discovered who I really am - and that is a tremendous gift.

As noted above, a book I have written is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. That book (entitled "Finding My Own Voice: The AHA!! Moments of a Former Mormon Woman") chronicles my very long journey through and away from Mormonism and discussed many of the issues that had plagued me for many years. Also, on my other blog - www.mormonismschism.blogspot.com - you will find some poems I have written about my views concerning various aspects of Mormonism as well as discussions relative to the issues that led to my decision to eventually disassociate myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In sharing my opinions and the information I have uncovered, it is my hope that I can in some small way help others by offering some insights into issues that many Mormons undoubtedly face in determining whether or not their faith has been misplaced.

For those of you who are thinking, "Oh, those Ex-Mormons... they can leave the church but they can't leave it alone," I offer this quote:

"Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well? ~Christopher Miller

While I'm sure that active Mormons (TBMs) and the Mormon Church itself would be much happier if people who have left the church kept their opinions to themselves, I cannot do that. If I can help one person to see the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism, then I will feel that my efforts have not been in vain.