LDS Hymn Parodies - C

CALLED TO DUPE
Sung to the tune of Called to Serve, #249

Called to dupe them,
We must spread the message,
Chosen to perpetuate the lies.
Far and wide we tell of Mormonism,
But deceit we can’t disguise.

(Chorus)
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel word.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

Called to con them,
Just like Prophet Joseph,
He created an enormous joke.
Snagging people, telling them malarkey,
Lies with every word he spoke.

(Chorus)
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

We believe it,
Why can’t all the others
Go along with everything we say?
Though they question, we must keep on hiding
All the lies in every way.

(Chorus)
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

© Diane Tingen, 6/8/2011

CAN’T YOU SEE IT’S ALL DECEPTION?
Sung to the tune of What Was Witnessed in the Heavens? #11

1.  Can’t you see it’s all deception?

Was made up by Joseph Smith.
Are there facts that tell the story?
Yes, it’s nothing but a myth.
Fraudulent, replete with fiction,
Obvious, by research shown.
Joseph Smith was not a Prophet,
As a charlatan was known.

2.  So there’s lies in Mormonism?
Yes, it’s filled with much deceit.
But they say to just believe it?
That’s a catchphrase they repeat.
Please examine every doctrine,
And the sordid history.
Study for yourself each aspect
So they’ll be no mystery.

3.  For so long I just believed it,
Went along with everything.
Just accepted what they told me,
And to falsehoods I would cling.
But one day, I started looking
At it all with open eyes.
Soon discovered all the falsehoods,
For the truth no compromise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/30/2014

CAST DECEPTION AND LIES ASIDE

Sung to the tune of Cast Thy Burden upon the Lord ‑ #110

Cast deception and lies aside,

And live more authentic.
Why cling to a church overflowing with lies?
Only truth is worthwhile.
The truth will set you free
To live the way you want.
Let none be made ashamed
That walk their own path.

© Diane Tingen
11/8/2014

CLING TO THE LIES
Sung to the tune of The Iron Rod, #274

To Mormons who believe the lies,
It simply blows my mind.
How can you buy it down the line?
I know that you’re not blind.

(Chorus)
Cling to the lies, the blatant lies,
And you won’t see what’s true.
The blatant lies will be your demise,
Deceit has a hold on you.

Deception laced throughout it all,
It’s very clear to see.
But if you simply close your eyes,
Then just a sheep you’ll be.

(Chorus)
Cling to the lies, the blatant lies,
And you won’t see what’s true.
The blatant lies will be your demise,
Deceit has a hold on you.

Just question all of what they say,
And research on your own.
Please don’t accept it mindlessly,
Don’t be a Mormon clone.

(Chorus)
Run from the lies, the blatant lies,
Please look for what is true.
The blatant lies are no surprise
When truth is brought into view.


© Diane Tingen, 6/9/2011


COME, ALL THOSE WHO SEE THE LIES
Sung to the tune of Come, Ye Thankful People - #94

Come, all those who see the lies,
Those who finally recognize
Mormonism is not true,
Pure deception through and through.
Yes, we’ve seen the truth at last,
And though we were once downcast,
The conclusions we have drawn
Lead us to a brighter dawn.

Lies are laced throughout it all,
Truth is written on the wall.
We reject the Mormon Church
Through the facts and our research.
We’re so grateful that we saw
Each defect and every flaw.
It is just a stack of lies,
Evidence they can’t disguise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/3/2013

COME, COME YE SHEEP
Sung to the tune of Come, Come Ye Saints, #30

Come, Come ye Sheep, just follow what we say,
Do not think for yourself.
It makes no sense, but throw your doubts away,
Put it all on your shelf.
Tis better far for us to voice
What you shall do, you have no choice.
So just shut down your brain and say,
Just obey, just obey.

Why should you be allowed to speak your mind?
We know best, just believe.
Though it is lies, you probably will find
It’s all meant to deceive.
Accept by faith what makes no sense,
And always come to our defense.
So follow close whate’er we say,
Just obey, just obey.

Don’t listen to the Antis who will say
It’s not true, don’t believe.
They may have found some stuff that we downplay,
But they work to deceive.
Apostates all, that’s what they are,
Detecting lies won't get them far.
And they’re all doomed, they’ve lost their way,
Won’t obey, won’t obey.

The Mormon Church, a cult right down the line,
But they say that’s not true.
It is God’s church, and so it is divine,
Gospel truth, through and through.
So if you pray, the light will come,
And then it won’t seem quite so dumb.
You must believe, don’t go astray,
Just obey, just obey.

© Diane Tingen, 5/31/2011


COME, FOLLOW ME
LDS Hymn Book, #116

“Come, follow me,” the Mormon said,
And just believe what you are fed.
Though it may seem a bit absurd,
It is the truth, just take our word.

Though you may find opposing views,
And you may want to look at clues,
Just follow us and you will find
That you won’t need to use your mind.

And just avoid the internet,
Why get yourself at all upset?
When you can now accept it all,
Don’t bang your head against a wall.

All that you need is in your heart,
Feelings you’ve had right from the start.
Your bosom burns, that’s all you need,
That is your test, your proof indeed.

So when you’re told it is a hoax,
And when you hear the endless jokes,
Do not give in, and just stand firm,
And do not let them see you squirm.

© Diane Tingen, 7/13/2011


COME, LET US REVIEW

Sung to the tune of Come, Let Us Anew - #217

Come, let us review
Each obvious clue,
Discussing the lies
That they cover up
And attempt to disguise.
It is filled with deceit,
Many falsehoods replete.
But the Mormons believe,
Without thinking accept
All the lies that they weave.
Without thinking accept
All the lies that they weave.

They follow along
Although it is wrong,
And simply obey,
Their eyes fully shut,
As in darkness they stay.
But if they’d only look
Then they’d see what a crook
Joseph Smith really was.
And they might recognize
All the obvious flaws.
And they might recognize
All the obvious flaws.

The man they revere,
Their prophet and seer,
Created a fraud,
The gospel they teach
Is not the Word of God.
Joseph Smith was a con,
I could go on and on,
Mormonism untrue.
The deception is clear
So I bid it adieu.
The deception is clear
So I bid it adieu.

© Diane Tingen, 10/8/2012

COME, SEE ALL THE LIES

Sung to the tune of Come, Sing to the Lord - #10

1. Come, see all the lies the Mormons tell,
And you will see all is not well
Within the Mormon Church.
And though they claim that it is true,
Come see all the lies, and get a clue.

2. The doctrine they teach and all they say,

From BOM to BOA,
Is clearly filled with lies.
And all the facts and evidence
Will show you the lies, there’s no defense.

3. When searching for truth, no compromise,
No cover-ups, not filled with lies,
I simply want the truth.
So to the Mormon Church I say,
Don’t take me to church, just go away.

© Diane Tingen, 9/21/2015

COME YE MORMONS, FALL IN LINE

Sung to the tune of Come,Ye Children of the Lord – #58

Come ye Mormons, fall in line,
Just accept what we define.
Do not question what is said,
We will think for you instead.
Simply follow what we say,
Don’t let facts get in your way.

All we teach is good and true,
Just believe the Mormon view.

Oh, how simple it will be
When you follow mindlessly.
Research on the internet
Not allowed, don’t you forget.
Those who talk of evidence
Saying that it makes no sense,
Speak of facts and say we lie,
But their claims we do decry.

Anti-Mormon, all of it,
Saying we are counterfeit.
Vilify our history,
Bringing up polygamy.
Calling Joseph Smith a con,
As they ramble on and on.
They condemn our prophet dear,
Don’t believe a word you hear.

Stay in line and argue not,
In their web, do not get caught.
Just have faith and go along,
We will never steer you wrong.
Mormonism is the way,
Read your scriptures, always pray.
Guard against those who attack,
We will always have your back.

© Diane Tingen, 4/30/2015

COUNTERFEIT, A TOTAL SCAMSung to the tune of He is Risen -#199

Mormonism, Mormonism,
Feel the love in all they say.
They condemn and spout their venom
At apostates every day.
Yet they say in solemn voice,
Praise the Lord, let us rejoice.

Christ-like love is touted loudly,
Loving everyone alike.
Yet their words are very empty
As they criticize and strike.
Such self-righteous hypocrites,
Calling others counterfeits.

Mormonism, Mormonism,
Counterfeit, a total scam.
Its true nature, hard to fathom,
But they just don’t give a damn
As they talk on Easter Day,
It’s not love that they display.

© Diane Tingen, 4/5/2015

THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER
Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21

1. The crazy talk gets crazier

As Mormons skirt the lies.
They will not see, it’s all a blur,
Deception in disguise.
They speak of truth yet just ignore
Whatever doesn’t fit.
It’s fraudulent right to its core,

A total pile of shit.

2. They say to simply doubt your doubts,
And cling to what they say.
But that is hard to figure out
Since facts get in the way.
There’s clearly lots of evidence
To prove deception deep,
But since they don’t use common sense,
They’ve all turned into sheep.

3. When questioning its truthfulness,
I finally saw the lies.
And now I see that it’s BS,
For truth, no compromise.
Deceit the Mormons try to spin
To camouflage the lies.
So obvious from deep within,
No matter its disguise.

4. Now due to my awakening,
I’m Mormonism free.
No longer to its lies I cling,
And I am finally ME.
The crazy talk gets crazier
With every passing day,
But now it’s gotten easier
To simply look away.

© Diane Tingen, 12/31/2015