LDS Hymn Parodies - J

JOSEPH SMITH, THE MORMON PROPHET
Sung to the tune of Come, Rejoice – #9

Joseph Smith, the Mormon Prophet,
Died a martyr's death.
Claimed to be the Lord's true mouthpiece
To his dying breath.
Mormons still revere his name,
Though he played a shyster’s game.
Joseph was a total fraud,
Clearly not a man of God.

Joseph Smith was just a con man,
Charlatan supreme.
Treasure hunting, money digging,
Always one more scheme.
Mormonism came from that,
Head and seer stone in a hat.
A religion he devised,
Book of Mormon, plagiarized.

Joseph Smith, a Seer and Prophet
In his own warped mind,
Who created Mormonism,
Cleverly designed.
Many women, 33,
Married him, polygamy.

Started off with Emma Hale,
Many more can tell the tale.

Second wife was Fanny Alger,
Some said an affair.
Claimed that he had been commanded,
Had a liar’s flair.
Emma wasn’t buying it,
Kicked out Fanny in a snit.
But then Joseph married more,
Emma’s fury he’d ignore.

Yet today they whitewash history,
Anti-Mormon crap.
Try to say it didn’t happen,
Simply a bad rap.
Pure denial, disavow
All the evidence somehow.
Choosing simply to believe,
To the lies they blindly cleave.

© Diane Tingen, 5/23/2012



JOSEPH SMITH WAS JUST A CON
Sung to the tune of God of Power, God of Right - #20

Joseph Smith was just a con,
And the list goes on and on
Of the many ways he lied,
Things I cannot take in stride.


Brigham Young, a liar, too,
Reading what his mouth would spew
Makes me sick on no small scale,
History tells quite a tale.


But the Mormons just believe
What they’re told, they’re so naïve.
Just accepting all the lies
Based on faith is just not wise.


How I wish they’d just research
History of the Mormon Church.
Study independently
Maybe lies they then would see.


I’m so happy that I left
Mormonism, so bereft
Of the honesty implied,
For the lies, I can’t abide.


© Diane Tingen, 03/05/2012


JOSEPH, JOSEPH, WHAT A SCOUNDREL
Joseph, Joseph, what a scoundrel,
He created such a fraud.
Mormonism was his angle,
Touted as the Word of God.
Pure deception, pure deception,
Just a ruse, a false façade.
Pure deception, pure deception,
Just a hoax, a false façade.
Joseph, Joseph, what a shyster,
Not a Prophet and a Seer.
He was clearly an imposter,
Not a tiny bit sincere.
Do some research, do some research,
All the facts are crystal clear.
Do some research, do some research,
All the facts are crystal clear.
Joseph, Mormons still revere you,
Worship you, their Prophet dear.
Faced with truth, they loudly argue,
Close their ears so they can’t hear.
Mormonism, Mormonism,
False religion, very clear.
Mormonism, Mormonism,
False religion, very clear.
Joseph, Joseph, very callous,
Made it up, no truth at all.
Mormonism, clearly bogus,
Really was the height of gall.
So deceptive, so deceptive,
Truth is written on the wall.
So deceptive, so deceptive,
Truth is written on the wall.
© Diane Tingen, 02/22/2013



JOSEPH, THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU

Sung to the tune of Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee, #141

Joseph, the very thought of you
Fills me with such disdain.
Making it up so blatantly,
Facts no one can explain.


What were you thinking when you said
All of it came from God?
It is apparent to me now
You were a total fraud.


Why did you think it was okay
To all those women wed?
It is so obvious to me
You wanted them in bed.


Joseph created all of it,
Made up the Mormon Church.
It is so clear when studied out,
Just do your own research.


© Diane Tingen, 11/9/2011



JUST TELL THE TRUTH
Sung to the tune of God Speed the Right, #106

Though there are no easy answers,
Just tell the truth.
Though the facts may cost you dollars,
Just tell the truth.
When researching Mormon doctrine,
Filled with lies and that’s for certain.
Just tell the truth, just tell the truth.

For the Mormons wearing blinders,
Just tell the truth.
Though they think they’re happy campers,
Just tell the truth.
Lies are such a vicious cycle,
Honesty a righteous battle.
Just tell the truth, just tell the truth.

So they pray and read their scriptures,
And they obey,
Shading things to make them better
Is not the way.
A religion should be truthful,
Not exploring every angle,
Make sure they pay, make sure they pay.

Joseph Smith was not a prophet,
Just tell the truth,
But you work to keep that quiet,
Just tell the truth.
History is not subjective,
And the lies are not persuasive,
Just tell the truth, just tell the truth.

© Diane Tingen, 11/23/2011


JUST USE YOUR BRAIN
Sung to the tune of Do What is Right, #237

Just use your brain,
Your reasoning powers,
Inquiry with your own mind just makes sense.
Don’t follow blindly and simply accept it,
Don’t be a sheep, let your thinking commence.


(Chorus)
Just use your brain,
Let your reasoning powers
Tell you what’s right and what you should believe.
It makes more sense to use critical thinking,
Blindly obeying, don’t be that naïve.


Just use your brain,Your rose-colored glasses
Simply obscure what reality shouts.
If you believe it without proper study,
All you are doing is squelching your doubts.


(Chorus)
Just use your brain
Let your reasoning powers
Tell you what’s right and what you should believe.
It makes more sense to use critical thinking,
Blindly obeying, don’t be that naïve.


Just use your brain,
Don’t just shelve your issues,
There is no wisdom in stifling yourself.
Don’t stuff it down, and then suffer in silence,
As you place more and more there on your shelf.


(Chorus)
Just use your brain
Let your reasoning powers
Tell you what’s right and what you should believe.
It makes more sense to use critical thinking,
Blindly obeying, don’t be that naïve.


© Diane Tingen, 6/19/2011