THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER - LDS Hymn Parody #124

There's a few blogs that I follow in the ExMormon online community, and one of them is Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta who always has great insights, satirical and otherwise, into all things ExMormon). Earlier this year, Donna posted a two-part series of blog entries entitled, Why ExMormons Won't Leave the Church Alone.  What she said in those blog entries triggered my writing of Why Can't You Just Leave the Church Alone? (which was my 121st LDS Hymn Parody).  Now, again, a blog entry posted on Ward Gossip on December 19, 2015 has prompted me to write another LDS Hymn Parody.  That blog entry was entitled The Crazy Talk Gets Even Crazier - and that is so true!!  Just when you think it can't get crazier, it does. Mormons continue to blindly accept whatever they are told and will defend it even though what they are saying makes absolutely no sense. But even pointing that out doesn't do any good; they are so convinced of its "truth" that they seem comfortable in their ignorance.  When asked to simply exploration the possibility that what they are saying might not be true, they scoff and dig their heels in even harder.

What's sad is that I remember having that mindset.  When I was a devout Mormon, no one could convince me that it wasn't actually true.  Although I did have issues with certain aspects of Mormonism from an early age (which I put on my imaginary shelf), I nevertheless accepted it as the gospel truth and told myself that I just needed to be more humble; and that I also needed to pray more and read the scriptures more so I would be worthy to understand it all.  But even though I did those things, the issues I had remained, making me feel not only unworthy but also frustrated and extremely inadequate.  I look back on those times with complete disdain because I now know that I was chasing an elusive goal.

Amidst my questioning, as my imaginary shelf became more and more crowded with more and more issues until it was close to tumbling down, I finally did some research into Mormon Church History.  In doing so, I began to realize that Mormonism is simply not true. In time, I came to the conclusion that it is a completely bogus religion - and looking at it now, I ask myself how I could have accepted it for so long.  But then, hindsight is 20/20 and kicking yourself for past mindsets is futile.

So here is my 124th LDS Hymn Parody.  The crazy talk does keep getting crazier, but thank goodness I finally walked away and am no longer caught up in the ridiculous Mormon mindset (a/k/a denial) that made me think it wasn't crazy at all.

THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER

Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21

1. The crazy talk gets crazier

As Mormons skirt the lies.
They will not see, it’s all a blur,
Deception in disguise.
They speak of truth yet just ignore
Whatever doesn’t fit.
It’s fraudulent right to its core,

A total pile of shit.

2. They say to simply doubt your doubts,
And cling to what they say.
But that is hard to figure out
Since facts get in the way.
There’s clearly lots of evidence
To prove deception deep,
But since they don’t use common sense,
They’ve all turned into sheep.

3. When questioning its truthfulness,
I finally saw the lies.
And now I see that it’s BS,
For truth, no compromise.
Deceit the Mormons try to spin
To camouflage the lies.
So obvious from deep within,
No matter its disguise.

4. Now due to my awakening,
I’m Mormonism free.
No longer to its lies I cling,
And I am finally ME.
The crazy talk gets crazier
With every passing day,
But now it’s gotten easier
To simply look away.

© Diane Tingen, 12/31/2015

COME, ALL THOSE WHO SEE THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #92

Looking back at those very dark days when I was earnestly questioning the Mormon Church, I remember struggling with so many things. Having been born and raised Mormon, my life was completely submerged in Mormonism - so I knew that if I decided to walk away, I was giving up much more than just my religion. I was giving up the only way of life I had ever known. Of course, that's what the Mormon Church counts on, and that's the way they keep a lot of members. In the end, though, I decided that was a small price to pay for living an authentic life - but in the midst of it all, I was in a great deal of turmoil.

I really wish that I had turned to the Ex-Mormon community earlier in my disaffection. But I did not go on any Ex-Mormon or Post-Mormon websites until I had already left the Church. In fact, the first time I went on www.exmormon.org was after Thanksgiving dinner in 2008 when my brother told me that he wanted to show me the genealogy he had uploaded onto the Mormon Church genealogy website - www.familysearch.org. After looking at our family genealogy on www.familysearch.org, I decided to look at Joseph Smith's pedigree chart - and that is when I first discovered that Joseph Smith had married women who were already married to living husbands. When I first made this discovery, I was completely dumbfounded since I had been a member of the Mormon Church for over 52 years before I finally disassociated myself from my life-long religion - and not once had I heard of this even taking place. Naturally, I had heard of Polygamy (although I never really knew the real truth behind that practice until I began my research prior to going on the Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001). But Polyandry? I was floored!!

When I got home from that Thanksgiving dinner, I decided to do some more research about this - and that's when I found out that this practice is called Polyandry. On Google, I saw links to some articles about Polyandry, and followed a few of them. One of the links lead me to www.exmormon.org and an article by Bob McCue about this. After reading this article, I decided to go on the discussion board, and that was the first time that I even exchanged messages with any Ex-Mormons. It was an enlightening experience because whereas I had struggled for a few years with thinking that I was misunderstanding things, that I must just not be righteous enough to understand it all, etc., etc., ad nauseum, I began to realize that many others shared my views of the lies that are obviously laced throughout Mormonism. What a eye-opener that was!!

Of course, the fact that I didn't go onto www.exmormon.org until then is a testament to the brainwashing I had received my entire life. Even in the aftermath of my discovery of the deception that is encompassed in Mormonism, subconsciously I had continued to follow the admonition not to talk to "those angry apostates." Truly, brainwashing dies hard.

So if I had one thing to do over again in my journey away from Mormonism, it would have been to garner strength from those who were also questioning as well as those who had already made the leap to leave. That would have provided so much reassurance and would have made me not feel so alone in my quest for truth as well as my decision to close the door and walk away. That is what is so valuable about websites like www.exmormon.org. Later on, I discovered www.postmormon.org as well, and I gained a lot of strength from discussions on that website as well. In fact, after talking with a lot of people on there, I ended up going to the 2010 Ex-Mormon Conference in SLC and met many of those people in person, which was a wonderful experience. After that, I ended up joining several Ex-Mormon groups on Facebook, and have made more friends there. During all of this, I have discovered that there is a very large community of Former Mormons out there, providing support not only to those who have already left but also to those who are in the process of questioning and re-examining their views about Mormonism.

And so, here is my 92nd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to all the Former Mormons out there...

COME, ALL THOSE WHO SEE THE LIES

Sung to the tune of Come, Ye Thankful People - #94

Come, all those who see the lies,
Those who finally recognize
Mormonism is not true,
Pure deception through and through.
Yes, we’ve seen the truth at last,
And though we were once downcast,
The conclusions we have drawn
Lead us to a brighter dawn.

Lies are laced throughout it all,
Truth is written on the wall.
We reject the Mormon Church
Through the facts and our research.
We’re so grateful that we saw
Each defect and every flaw.
It is just a stack of lies,
Evidence they can’t disguise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/3/2013

UNVEILING ALL THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #90

BEHIND THE MORMON SPIN.  The longer I have been out of Mormonism, the more I have realized just how much "spin" is involved in this religion.  Of course, we almost expect there to be "spin" in politics - we've come to expect it.  But "spin" in religion?  A person would think that religion would be above that kind of manipulative behavior.  As Javier Bardem once said, "I do respect people's faith, but I don't respect their manipulation of that faith to create fear and control."  Well put.

I recently read an article entitled "Ethical Communications: Spinning the Truth" by Mark S. Putnam, in which he said, "Somewhere between the truth and a lie, there's 'spin.' We hear about politicians spinning bad news in their favor. We see journalists and pundits spin news stories to reflect a certain point of view. It's easy. You too can spin if you look at data, filter it through your biases, and preach it like gospel. The rationale is that it isn't really lying, just putting a bias on what is already true. So what's wrong with it?  Before you choose to spin yourself into trouble, understand that in the context of ethical communication, you should be clear, truthful, and honest in what comes out of your mouth. Spinning is like any other kind of dishonesty, it's wrong. It makes good old fashioned lying sound clever and trendy. It can be said that stupid people lie and smart people spin."

I like that last line - "It can be said that stupid people lie and smart people spin."  But what's even more mystifying for me is that although literally everything about Mormonism is ridiculous (its doctrines, its teachings, and most definitely its history), there are many otherwise intelligent people who are completely caught up in Mormonism and so devoted to its tenets that they steadfastly stand up for its doctrine, teaching and history.  These people are not stupid, and yet they are trapped inside the web of lies that Mormonism propagates.  They truly believe that Joseph Smith was a Seer and Prophet of God who restored the "everlasting gospel in these latter days."  To me, the only explanation for that is that Mormonism has seeped into their psyches and clouded their judgment.  They allow the Mormon Church to dictate how they think and what they accept as true.  They are so entrenched in Mormonism that they are caught in a never-ending spiral of denial.  But that's all part of the spin - the Mormon Church expects its members to simply go along and not question, and if they do question, they are told that when the Prophet speaks, the debate is over.  That type of philosophy works to keep people quiet, and to make sure they don't speak out about their concerns.

In September 2010, I wrote a poem entitled "Spin, Spin, Spin the Truth," (based on "Row, Row, Row Your Boat") which is posted in the Poetry section of this blog.  The first two verses are:

Spin, spin, spin the truth,
Every way you can.
Verily, verily, verily, verily,
Like it all began.

Hide, hide, hide it all,
They can’t know the truth.
History, history, history, history,
Cover up the proof.

The poem goes on for several more verses, and ends with the following verse:

Please, please, please no more,
This is crazy stuff.
Overload, overload, overload, overload,
I have had enough.

Truly, I have had enough.  Enough lies... enough deception... enough denial... enough spinning.  To me, truth is the bottom line.  Is that too much to ask?

   

I will be forever grateful that in the Summer of 2001, I went on that Mormon Church History Tour because that is when I started my independent research.  At first, I simply wanted to know more about church history so I would know what occurred at the key places when we visited those locations.  But then, as I discovered more and more, I began to see that I had been duped all those years into believing that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God and that the Mormon Church was the Word of God.  I often think about the possibility that if I had not gone, I would most likely still be completely caught up in the web of lies that Mormonism weaves.  Thankfully, I saw the lies and was able to extricate myself from its clutches.

And so, here is my 90th LDS Hymn Parody...

UNVEILING ALL THE LIES
Sung to the tune of I Know My Father Lives - #302

Unveiling all the lies,
The truth revealed.
So long denial sheltered me,
Reality concealed,
Reality concealed.

Within the Mormon Church,
A plan devised.
Deception at its very core,
Dishonesty disguised,
Dishonesty disguised.

So much is evident
With open eyes.
Just look beyond the rhetoric,
And you will see the lies,
And you will see the lies.

Through research I have found
The lies within.
The truth is there for all to find,
Behind the Mormon Spin,
Behind the Mormon Spin.

© Diane Tingen, 3/25/2013

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY - LDS Hymn Parody #84

My latest LDS Hymn Parody (#84) addresses the sordid history of the Mormon Church.  Having been born and raised Mormon, and having stayed in the church for 52 years, it baffles me now how I could have gone along for so long when it is so obviously false.  I thank my lucky stars that I went on that Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, and that I decided to do my own research before, during and after the trip, because otherwise, I may have stayed in the Mormon Church my entire life.  Sadly, I used to be very trusting, naive and gullible.  Almost complacent.  Although I had many questions for many years that I put up on my "shelf," it wasn't until I began to discover the actual history of the Mormon Church that I began to question in earnest.  The Summer of 2001 was the turning point for me.

When I started writing these LDS hymn parodies, I never imagined that I would write 84 of them - and since I have other ideas on the back-burner, I'm sure I will eventually write even more than that.  As my daughter put it, I seem to have a knack for blasphemy (said tongue-in-cheek since she's an ExMormon, too).

So here is my 84th LDS Hymn parody, dedicated to Joseph Smith and the hoax he created and perpetuated.  May he NOT rest in peace.

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY
Sung to the tune of Improve the Shining Moments – # 226

Reviewing Mormon history
From 1830 on
When Joseph Smith created
One big religious con.
He was a practiced swindler,
A charlatan supreme.
Inventing Mormonism
Was really just a scheme.

Review the Book of Mormon,
So clearly plagiarized
By Joseph Smith and Rigdon,
They cleverly disguised
The origins and background
Of “scripture” they revised,
A book by Mr. Spalding,
So easily surmised.

Such sordid and disturbing
Events were taking place.
A fraudulent religion,
What a complete disgrace.
From New York to Ohio,
The Kirtland Banking fraud,
It’s clear that Mormonism
Is not the Word of God.

And then on to Missouri
As Joseph led the way,
Convincing all the members
This is where they would stay.
But people in Missouri
Soon tired of the Saints,
Extermination order
Then followed their complaints.

The Saints out of Missouri,
To Illinois they fled.
Just following their Prophet,
Believing what he said.
In Nauvoo they did prosper,
But shit soon hit the fan
As Joseph Smith’s influence
Grew more throughout the land.

Polygamy created,
Commandment, Joseph said.
His motives were suspicious
As 10 young girls he wed.
And he wed married women
With husbands living still,
Til 33 they numbered,
Just couldn’t get his fill.

The name of Fanny Alger
Is right a-top the list,
Though Cowdery loudly argued
And simply did insist,
That what they had together
Was plainly an affair,
But Joseph was insulted,
Legitimate, he'd swear. 

Polygamy increasing,
The Nauvoo Temple built.
Masonic ceremonies,
Soon introduced full tilt.
Then Joseph Smith declaring
For President he’d run,
Though it was not too likely
That Joseph would have won.

That was in January
Of 1844,
And only six months later,
His death would close the door
On all that he envisioned,
The power that he craved,
Wherever he could get it,
Immoral and depraved.

They say he was a martyr,
In Carthage Jail, he died.
While there, a mob attacked him,
From death, he could not hide.
But martyr does not fit him,
When studying the facts,
He was incarcerated
For some illegal acts.

Would a religious martyr
Destroy a printing press
And then burn down a building?
Surely God would not bless
Such obvious aggression
When truth had been revealed,
Polygamy uncovered
By Joseph Smith concealed.

I think it is appalling
That Mormons everywhere
Accept the gospel doctrine
And simply aren’t aware
Of things within the history
That cry out “It’s not true,”
Exposing Mormonism,
Deceptive, through and through.

Examine Mormon history,
Alarming facts unfold.
So camoflagued and whitewashed,
Some facts are never told
Within a Mormon chapel,
Where ignorance they breed,
Just say it didn't happen,
Denial is their creed.

Of course, the facts of history
Are totally obscured
By Mormons in denial,
Actual truth detoured.
But anyone reviewing
The facts and evidence
Will see red flags a-plenty
If they use common sense.

© Diane Tingen, 2/5/2013

Interesting reading:

http://historyofmormonism.com/

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ldsbom.htm

http://solomonspalding.com/index3.htm

http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_spaldingmanuscript.html

Interesting pictures:

 

Three of the earliest Mormons:
Sidney Rigdon, Oliver Cowdery, and Joseph Smith

Title page of one of the earliest anti-Mormon publications,
E. D. Howe's Mormonism Unvailed: Or, A Faithful
 Account of that Singular Imposition and Delusion,
 from its Rise to the Present Time (1834), which claimed
 that the Book of Mormon was written by Solomon Spalding.

An anti-Mormon Political Cartoon from the late 19th Century

THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL AT LAST - LDS Hymn Parody #80

Looking back over the past few years, I can honestly say that I am happier now than I have ever been.  Leaving Mormonism behind was the best thing I ever did.  I am living an authentic life now, without any of the strife I felt for so many years.  Trying to "have faith" and "just believe" as they told me to do was literally killing me.  This is especially true when I began to question in earnest, after going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001.  When I began to discover the lies behind the Mormon Curtain as well as the sordid history that is the foundation for it all, I began to realize that I had been struggling for so long because it simply isn't true. 

For so long, I thought it was me - that I was the problem.  Being given the message (whether spoken or implied) that I wasn't righteous enough to understand it all made me feel completely inadequate.  I accepted the challenge to study more, pray more, and be more obedient, and also took to heart the admonition given in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 4-5:

4  And when we shall receive these things, I would exhort you that we would ask God, the Eternal Faith, in the name of Christ,. if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Of course, the message a person is given is that if they do not receive the answer that the Book of Mormon, as well as Mormonism itself, is true, then they are at fault - they are not asking with "...a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ..." 
But what I finally realized is that doing all that didn't work because that premise was being applied to the wrong scenario.  What I ultimately discovered is that Mormonism is an elaborate web of lies made up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated since his death by many others who had or have as much riding on keeping everyone in the dark as did Joseph Smith himself.

Naturally, though, the Mormon Church strongly admonishes its members to not do any independent research, to only rely on "faith-promoting materials" that the Mormon Church itself disseminates.  That directive is wrong on so many levels - and at its root is the fact that charging its members with these instructions is one of the defining signs that it is actually a CULT.  The bottom line is that if there was nothing to hide then it would not matter what anyone reads or researches.

Breaking free from Mormonism gave me a new lease on life.  It helped me to shed years of strife that had placed a burden on my shoulders that was at times overwhelming.  Living an authentic life and being true to myself is a tremendous relief.  I hope that others who are still trapped within Mormonism will do their own independent research without fear of reprimand, chastizement and/or punishment - particularly since it is my understanding that a question has been added to Temple Recommend Interview List about doing independent research and looking at what the Mormons consider to be "Anti-Mormon propaganda" contained on various websites (and if answered that a person has looked at this type of material, a temple recommend will most likely be denied).

Mormons are told to "just believe" and to have "faith."  As I've said before, though, having faith is all well and good, but when there is a mountain of evidence against something being true, then continuing to "just believe" is not faith anymore but rather denial.

So here is my 80th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to transcending beyond Mormonism and discovering that There is Sunshine in my Soul - AT LAST!!!

THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL AT LAST
Sung to the tune of There is Sunshine in My Soul Today - #227

There is sunshine in my soul at last,
A joy I can’t disguise.
So glad that I have broken free
From Mormonism’s lies.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is music in my soul at last,
A glorious refrain.
For I did research on my own,
And finally used my brain.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is springtime in my soul at last,
The dreariness is gone.
For now, I know that Joseph lied,
And he was just a con.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is gladness in my soul at last,
Such ecstasy and bliss.
For I have seen the false pretense,
That it is all amiss.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

© Diane Tingen, 12/28/2012

HAVE YOU STUDIED BELIEFS OF THE MORMON CHURCH? Another LDS Hymn Parody, #68

Being born and raised Mormon, I grew up believing that what I was told about the beliefs of the Mormon Church was the actual truth, and I assumed that what I was told was based on actual facts.  But boy, was I WRONG!!!  Coming to the realization that everything I believed was true is actually FALSE hit me like a ton of bricks.  But it took me a VERY long time to get there - and it took doing my own actual independent research (prior to and after going on a Mormon Church History Tour in 2001) to discover that the Mormon Church whitewashes its very sordid history and misrepresents its beliefs and doctrines.

Sadly, there are many Mormons out there who did just what I did.  They believe what they are told is the truth and don't do their own research.  Such a bad idea.  Therefore, my advice to anyone who is either questioning or investigating the Mormon Church is to do your own research, independently, and don't rely on what you are told is the truth.  Also, don't rely on what the Mormon Church deems to be "authorized reading" to make your decision about its truthfulness.

It should be a RED FLAG that the Mormon Church tells its members to only read from "authorized areas," and to not read or research anything outside those "authorized" areas - what they basically prohibit.  After all, that criteria is one of the signs of a CULT.  Simply put, FIND OUT THE TRUTH FOR YOURSELF... ON YOUR OWN TERMS!!!

And with that in mind, here is my 68th LDS Hymn Parody... 

HAVE YOU STUDIED BELIEFS OF THE MORMON CHURCH?

Sung to the tune of Have I Done Any Good? - #223

Have you studied beliefs of the Mormon Church?
Have you researched it on your own?
Do you just go along, do not question what’s wrong?
If so, you are not alone.

The actual facts are much different than what
They tell you that you must believe.
If you study the history then you’ll see the truth
Through the legion of lies that they weave.

(Chorus)
Then wake up and do something more
Than just bow your head and obey.
There are lies laced throughout it,
Don’t blindly accept it
And give all your power away.

Decisions we make in our daily lives
Take research to make the right choice.
We don’t always accept, and will sometimes reject,
Opinions that others may voice.
And so with religion it should be the same,
Through research the questions are solved.
It takes true discernment to sort through the facts,
And there’s critical thinking involved.

(Chorus)
Then wake up and do something more
Than just bow your head and obey.
There are lies laced throughout it,
Don’t blindly accept it
And give all your power away.

© Diane Tingen, 6/11/2012