LDS Hymn Parodies - A

AMAZING LIES
Sung to the tune of Amazing Grace

Amazing lies the Mormons tell,
Say it’s the Word of God.
But if you look at what they sell,
So clearly it’s a fraud.

‘Twas lies that made me finally see
That truth is nowhere seen
Within their ideology,
Deceptiveness routine.

Through many struggles and discord,
I found myself confused.
‘Tis through the research I explored
My turmoil was defused.

The search for truth began for me
When doubt entered my mind.
Discovered sordid history,
Deception intertwined.

Though it was hard to close the door,
I knew I had no choice.
Denial gone, suppressed no more,
No silencing my voice.

Amazing lies the Mormons tell,
Say it’s the Word of God.
But if you look at what they sell,
So clearly it’s a fraud.


© Diane Tingen, 8/25/2015


A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of
A Mighty Fortress is our God, #68

A mighty puzzle was the church,
For many years, I struggled.
No matter what I read or heard,
So many issues lingered.
And so, through my research,
I found the Mormon Church
Is filled with many lies,
And so I must surmise
That Joseph Smith just made it up.


So when I left the Mormon Church,
Enormous burdens lifted.
The puzzle had been solved at last,
And all confusion ended.

Where I was once devout,
I simply have no doubt
That it is just a ruse
For which there’s no excuse,
Religious cult that’s full of lies.


Apostates seek to know the truth,
And see behind the curtain.
They don’t accept what they are told,
They want to know for certain.
They see through the façade,
Believe that it’s a fraud,
Reject what is not true
With an objective view,
And aren’t afraid to speak the truth.


It was not easy when I left,
With family members active.
But though they may not understand,
The truth is my one motive.
For once I saw the lies,
There was no compromise.
I knew that if I stayed,
It would be a charade,
And now I live authentically.


© Diane Tingen, 7/15/2011



AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE
Sung to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel, #252
The church is full of mindless sheep,
Who seem to be naïve.
They simply do as they are told,
And the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
Yes, the Mormons just believe, it is true.
They are told the things to say and to do.
They all conform, it is the norm,
And the Mormons just believe.
The world outside may pressure them,
As they try to deceive.
But faithfully, they look away,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe all the lies,
As they close their minds to truth in disguise.
It is a crock, that’s not a shock,
But the Mormons just believe.
With heart and soul, they follow close
All counsel they receive.
They’re told to jump, they ask how high,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe what they’re told,
Though it’s obvious the lies they are sold.
No matter what, their mouths are shut,
For the Mormons just believe.
The web of lies is very clear,
But they cannot conceive
That all of it was just made up,
No, the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe through it all,
Though it’s written very clear on the wall,
A pile of shit, it’s not legit,
But the Mormons just believe.
© Diane Tingen, 7/1/2011


A POOR BEWILDERED GIRL OF DOUBT
Sung to the tune of A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, #29

A poor bewildered girl of doubt,
More than confused by what she read.
She had been born in the Mormon Church,
But now, it simply filled her with dread.
She thought the church had come from God,
But now she feared it was a ruse.
And so she struggled with what to do,

She couldn’t think of any excuse.

Her Mom and Dad were TBM,
Believing all of it down the line.
And until now, she had no doubts,
Believed it, too, it was divine.
She always prayed and went to church,
Sacrament and Young Women, too.
And temple marriage was her goal,
Living life with an eternal view.


But as she looked at what she found,
It looked as though it was a myth.
What she had found was awful stuff

About the prophet Joseph Smith.
It said he married teenage girls,
And other women, he wed them, too.
It made her sick to think of this,
And she did not know what to do.


She thought of all that she’d been taught
About polygamy, way back when.
They said it started with Brigham Young,
She heard the story time and again.
He married widows, took care of them,
It all began on the journey West.
The orphaned children he did protect,
The picture painted, she was impressed.


But now that she had learned the truth,
That she’d been duped throughout the years,
Her soul was crushed, she felt betrayed,
Began to cry, and fought back the tears.
Why did they lie, not tell the truth?
Yes, Joseph Smith had lead the way.
Perpetuating all the lies,
Preserving them for modern day.


As she read the names of all his wives,
She counted them at 33.
What was the reason for all of that?
Perhaps he wanted them sexually?
11 women already wed
To living husbands with no divorce.
And 10 who were in their teenage years,

Which first wife Emma denied, of course.

And then there was the martyrdom,
When Joseph died in Carthage Jail.
But now, she knew the truth of this,
A criminal whose lies prevail.
A printing press destroyed by him,
Lamb to the slaughter is what he said,
He thought he was above the law,
A mob attacked, and he was dead.


Not only that, but there was more
Disturbing stuff from history.
Like Mormon scriptures, filled with lies,
The Book of Mormon, pure fantasy.
She thought about the golden plates
She sang about in Primary,
The Nephites and the Lamanites
Did not exist, so clear to see.


“It’s all a lie, right from the start,”
She said out loud though no one there.
She felt alone but could not express
How she was filled with such despair.

The more she thought, the more she knew
She must keep quiet for a while,
Not tell her parents or anyone,
Just go along with the perfect smile.


But as she pondered what all this meant,
She felt a burden lift from her.
And she knew no matter what was said,
It’s all deception, that’s for sure.
But though the truth would set her free,
She had to bide her time for now.
But when she finally turned 18,
Then to none of this would she kowtow.


© Diane Tingen, 6/5/2011



APOSTASY
Sung to the tune of Sweet Hour of Prayer, #142

Apostasy, apostasy,
What can I say to make you see
That I have done my own research,
And that is why I now besmirch
The Mormon Church, a stack of lies,
For its façade there’s no disguise.
And so I bid it all adieu,
Because it’s not the least bit true.
And so I bid it all adieu,
Because it’s not the least bit true.

Apostasy, apostasy,
Is not what it is said to be
By those caught up in Mormondom,
Who ramble on, ad nauseum,
About the one true church of God,
Which really is a massive fraud.
But if they’d use some common sense,
Then they might see the false pretense.
But if they’d use some common sense,
Then they might see the false pretense.


Apostasy, apostasy,
It feels so good to just be free
To think and act the way I choose,
To recognize the many clues
That showed me it is all a lie,
Compelling me to say goodbye.
The Mormons do not have the truth,
I wish I’d seen that in my youth.
The Mormons do not have the truth,
I wish I’d seen that in my youth.


© Diane Tingen, 12/7/2011


AS I HAVE CAST OFF ALL THE LIES
Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21
As I have cast off all the lies,
And to myself am true.
I've tossed aside what they disguise,
No truthfulness to view.
But those still trapped within its walls
Continue to deny
The false pretense on which it falls
And all the facts belie.
They say that I have gone astray,
Apostatized, you see.
They ask me to just go away,
To simply quiet be.
But I must say my piece, at last,
My voice must now be heard.
And I don’t care if they’re aghast,
My words are not absurd.
The Mormon Church was built on lies,
Deception running deep.
So clear to me, no hows or whys,
That secret I can’t keep.
Oh no, the message that I speak
From research on my own,
For it is truth we all should seek,
And not feel we’re alone.
And so you cannot silence me,
The Mormon Church is wrong.
And no, I will not quiet be,
I’ll loudly sing this song.
I know the truth, I’m finally free
From Mormonism’s grip.
But I will not go silently,
My lips they cannot zip.
© Diane Tingen, 12/27/2012


AS NOW I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE
Sung to the tune of As Now We Take the Sacrament, #169

As now I look back on my life,
To Mormonism true
Until I saw the many lies
And finally got a clue.
I read and researched on my own,
Convinced I must be wrong,
For I was born and raised in it,
Believed my whole life long.


But though I once believed it all,
I now know it’s a fraud.
It’s not what it appears to be,
It’s not the Word of God.
I know from deep within my soul,
Examined every part,
That Mormonism was a hoax
Right from the very start.


I know that Joseph Smith was not
A Prophet or a Seer.
From what I've read about his life,
That much is very clear.
He was a charlatan supreme,
A shyster and a con.

He was arrested many times,
The list goes on and on.


It was a shock to finally learn
The sordid history,
And if you'd read it on your own,
I think you might agree.
The martyrdom of Joseph Smith,
A farce to say the least.
Polygamy and all the rest,
My admiration ceased.


The truth is what we all should seek,
Not lies within the church.
For Mormonism is a scam,
Just do your own research.
The truth is there for all to see,
Not hard to figure out.

The Mormon Church just is not true,
No shadow of a doubt.


© Diane Tingen, 11/27/2011



A STACK OF LIES

What does the Mormon Church hold out as truth beyond compare?
A stack of lies, so fraudulent, deception everywhere.
How could the Mormon Church profess to be the Word of God?
It is not true, that’s very clear – it’s fake and just a fraud.
Why do the members of the church believe that it is true?
They have been brainwashed very well, they haven’t got a clue.
But now we have the Internet, and what does Google say?
Just find the truth, think for yourself, and simply walk away.
What does it say?  Think for yourself.

© Diane Tingen, 9/24/2015