ExMormon Hymn Book: LDS Hymn Parodies

LDS Hymn Parodies - H

HAVE YOU STUDIED BELIEFS OF THE MORMON CHURCH?

Sung to the tune of Have I Done Any Good? - #223

Have you studied beliefs of the Mormon Church?
Have you researched it on your own?
Do you just go along, do not question what’s wrong?
If so, you are not alone.

The actual facts are much different than what
They tell you that you must believe.
If you study the history then you’ll see the truth
Through the legion of lies that they weave.

(Chorus)
Then wake up and do something more
Than just bow your head and obey.
There are lies laced throughout it,
Don’t blindly accept it
And give all your power away.

Decisions we make in our daily lives
Take research to make the right choice.
We don’t always accept, and will sometimes reject,
Opinions that others may voice.
And so with religion it should be the same,
Through research the questions are solved.
It takes true discernment to sort through the facts,
And there’s critical thinking involved.

(Chorus)
Then wake up and do something more
Than just bow your head and obey.
There are lies laced throughout it,
Don’t blindly accept it
And give all your power away.

© Diane Tingen, 6/11/2012

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST
Sung to the tune of High on the Mountain Top - #5

High on my Bucket List,
The things I want to do
Before I leave this world
And bid this life adieu.
I simply want to be myself,
And empty off my Mormon shelf.

For way too many years
My shelf did overflow,
Just shoving things up there
And watching it all grow.
But then I saw the stack of lies,
The truth revealed, no more disguise.

That’s when I finally found
The courage from inside
To simply be myself,
And I no longer hide
From what the truth has done for me,
It made me strong and set me free.

So thankful that I’m not
Still caught within the Church,
I’m Mormonism Free,
Their doctrine I besmirch.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church, a total myth.

No shadow of a doubt,
I know it’s filled with lies.
I’ve seen the evidence
Each TBM denies.
I wish they’d look with open eyes,
Then they might say their own goodbyes.

So now my Bucket List,
A check by #1,
The most important thing
I finally have done.
I’ve shed the pain and dried my tears,
In peace I’ll live throughout my years.

HOW CLUELESS CAN THEY BE?

Sung to the tune of How Gentle God’s Commands - #125

How clueless can they be?

How can they just believe?
They’re told to just accept it all,
Why are they so naïve?

Beneath the watchful eye
Of old men in Salt Lake,
The Mormon Church just shovels shit,
Aware that it’s all fake.

The members go along
With everything they’re told,
They’re even told to doubt their doubts,
So easily controlled.

But some do get away,
Can see that it’s a fraud.
And while they waded through the crap,
Demolished the façade.

And so the Mormon Church
With its apparent lies,
Can kiss my ass a thousand times
Since I’ve said my goodbyes.

Diane Tingen, 1/27/2016

HOW GREAT THE SWINDLE AND THE LIES
Sung to the tune of How Great the Wisdom and the Love - #195

How great the swindle and the lies
That fill the Mormon Church.
So clear to me when I began
To do my own research.

It's clear that Joseph made it up,
Justr spun a web of lies.
And yet the members go along
Though logic it decries.

The history of the Mormon Church
Is sordid through and through.
And when I finally looked at it,
I knew it wasn't true.

Why don't the Mormons question it?
Why do they close their eyes
As blindly they accept it all?
It simply is not wise.

But sadly there are many who
Refuse to look beyond
What they are told to just believe,
Not knowing they've been conned.

I hope that more will see the lies,
And realize the truth.
To live their lives authentically
While they are in their youth.

© Diane Tingen, 7/8/2012

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE
Sung to the tune of How Firm a Foundation, #85

How skewed is the doctrine presented as His Word,
And what Mormons preach is so patently absurd.
What more can I say than to you I have said,
Beware of the Mormons, beware of the Mormons,
Beware of the Mormons, and don’t be misled.

For most of my life, I adhered to what they taught,
But now, looking back, I can see that I was caught.
For I could not see that it’s simply not true.
The lies and deception, the lies and deception,
The lies and deception I finally saw through.

They’ll tell you that it is the one true church of God,
But if you look deeper, you’ll see that it’s a fraud.
Just look at the facts, and it all will be plain.
The truth is apparent, the truth is apparent,
The truth is apparent, no questions remain.

© Diane Tingen, 7/25/2011

When I first began writing LDS Hymn Parodies, I first began by posting them on my other blog (http://mormonismschism.blogspot.com/), and then decided it would be a good idea for them to have their own dedicated place (with special pages in alphabetical order and all), so this blog was created for that purpose.

Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I spent my entire life singing hymns, not only in church meetings but also in various Ward and Stake Choirs (and even in the Southern California Mormon Choir). Ward Choir Director was also my calling for awhile. Since I also play the piano (and learned from a Mormon piano teacher), I also learned to play the hymns, and was Pianist in Primary, Sunday School, and Relief Society. Naturally, playing the piano led to learning to play the organ, and then being Ward Organist for a long time.

So it's no wonder that I have so many LDS hymns stuck in my brain. It amazes me just how many hymns I can still sing from memory. Of course, since I've been out of Mormonism now for over 8 years, it irritates me that I know the words to so many Mormon-themed hymns. So one day, I started making up alternative words - and found it very amusing and extremely cathartic. The first hymn I parodied was "I Stand All Amazed," and since then I haven't been able to stop. So I'm gonna just keep going until I can't think of anymore. But since I apparently have the gift for blasphemy (as my daughter recently told me), that probably won't happen anytime soon.

I hope you enjoy my "spin" on some old familiar LDS Hymn favorites. But if you don't, you're probably a TBM and not an ExMormon like me. Oh, well...

MY EXIT FROM MORMONISM

As a preface to my thoughts about Mormonism (and my exit from my lifelong religion), I would like to share the following quote:

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the
whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley,
Interview, "The Mormons,"
PBS Documentary, April 2007

In essence, after researching the roots of Mormonism, which obviously form its foundation, as well as examining its doctrine in depth, I have concluded that it is a great fraud. Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, and remaining LDS until my early 50's, facing that realization was very difficult and was not done lightly.

SOME BACKGROUND:
In the Summer of 2001, I went on a Mormon Church History Tour. Before going, I decided to do some research so I would know more about what occurred at the key places when we visited them. But that was the beginning of the end for me as I discovered more and more of the sordid history of the Mormon Church. Soon, I began to realize that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up and that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. Sadly, I also began to realize that I had allowed the Mormon Church to pull the wool over my eyes for a very long time. But even with that realization, it took me quite a while longer to finally break away because of how intricately my life was tied up in Mormonism and how long I had been blinded by the lies Mormonism perpetuates (which, of course, is what they are counting on).

But finally, I did break away - and I have now been Mormonism Free for over 8 years. What I have realized during the ensuing years is that my intellectual curiosity was squelched by Mormonism. Being told to "just believe" and "have faith" was very detrimental to my psyche, particularly since so much made little sense. Trying to rationalize through everything had a negative effect on me as well, making me very confused and uncomfortable. Since that time, I have discovered that these types of feelings are called "cognitive dissonance" (a feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions). Cognitive dissonance is discussed in greater length in a book I have written, which is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. Since leaving Mormonism behind, I have grown so much and have discovered who I really am - and that is a tremendous gift.

As noted above, a book I have written is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. That book (entitled "Finding My Own Voice: The AHA!! Moments of a Former Mormon Woman") chronicles my very long journey through and away from Mormonism and discussed many of the issues that had plagued me for many years. Also, on my other blog - www.mormonismschism.blogspot.com - you will find some poems I have written about my views concerning various aspects of Mormonism as well as discussions relative to the issues that led to my decision to eventually disassociate myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In sharing my opinions and the information I have uncovered, it is my hope that I can in some small way help others by offering some insights into issues that many Mormons undoubtedly face in determining whether or not their faith has been misplaced.

For those of you who are thinking, "Oh, those Ex-Mormons... they can leave the church but they can't leave it alone," I offer this quote:

"Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well? ~Christopher Miller

While I'm sure that active Mormons (TBMs) and the Mormon Church itself would be much happier if people who have left the church kept their opinions to themselves, I cannot do that. If I can help one person to see the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism, then I will feel that my efforts have not been in vain.