THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER - LDS Hymn Parody #124

There's a few blogs that I follow in the ExMormon online community, and one of them is Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta who always has great insights, satirical and otherwise, into all things ExMormon). Earlier this year, Donna posted a two-part series of blog entries entitled, Why ExMormons Won't Leave the Church Alone.  What she said in those blog entries triggered my writing of Why Can't You Just Leave the Church Alone? (which was my 121st LDS Hymn Parody).  Now, again, a blog entry posted on Ward Gossip on December 19, 2015 has prompted me to write another LDS Hymn Parody.  That blog entry was entitled The Crazy Talk Gets Even Crazier - and that is so true!!  Just when you think it can't get crazier, it does. Mormons continue to blindly accept whatever they are told and will defend it even though what they are saying makes absolutely no sense. But even pointing that out doesn't do any good; they are so convinced of its "truth" that they seem comfortable in their ignorance.  When asked to simply exploration the possibility that what they are saying might not be true, they scoff and dig their heels in even harder.

What's sad is that I remember having that mindset.  When I was a devout Mormon, no one could convince me that it wasn't actually true.  Although I did have issues with certain aspects of Mormonism from an early age (which I put on my imaginary shelf), I nevertheless accepted it as the gospel truth and told myself that I just needed to be more humble; and that I also needed to pray more and read the scriptures more so I would be worthy to understand it all.  But even though I did those things, the issues I had remained, making me feel not only unworthy but also frustrated and extremely inadequate.  I look back on those times with complete disdain because I now know that I was chasing an elusive goal.

Amidst my questioning, as my imaginary shelf became more and more crowded with more and more issues until it was close to tumbling down, I finally did some research into Mormon Church History.  In doing so, I began to realize that Mormonism is simply not true. In time, I came to the conclusion that it is a completely bogus religion - and looking at it now, I ask myself how I could have accepted it for so long.  But then, hindsight is 20/20 and kicking yourself for past mindsets is futile.

So here is my 124th LDS Hymn Parody.  The crazy talk does keep getting crazier, but thank goodness I finally walked away and am no longer caught up in the ridiculous Mormon mindset (a/k/a denial) that made me think it wasn't crazy at all.

THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER

Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21

1. The crazy talk gets crazier

As Mormons skirt the lies.
They will not see, it’s all a blur,
Deception in disguise.
They speak of truth yet just ignore
Whatever doesn’t fit.
It’s fraudulent right to its core,

A total pile of shit.

2. They say to simply doubt your doubts,
And cling to what they say.
But that is hard to figure out
Since facts get in the way.
There’s clearly lots of evidence
To prove deception deep,
But since they don’t use common sense,
They’ve all turned into sheep.

3. When questioning its truthfulness,
I finally saw the lies.
And now I see that it’s BS,
For truth, no compromise.
Deceit the Mormons try to spin
To camouflage the lies.
So obvious from deep within,
No matter its disguise.

4. Now due to my awakening,
I’m Mormonism free.
No longer to its lies I cling,
And I am finally ME.
The crazy talk gets crazier
With every passing day,
But now it’s gotten easier
To simply look away.

© Diane Tingen, 12/31/2015

THE WEB OF LIES THEY SPIN - LDS Hymn Parody #123

Ah yes, the "Web of Lies They Spin."  And what a tangled web it is!!  Cover-up, whitewash, deny... 
all in a day's work for the Mormon Church.

In looking back at my days as an active Mormon (which took up 52 years of my life!!), I'm mortified by how long they were able to pull the wool over my eyes.  It wasn't until the Summer of 2001 when I went on a Mormon Church History Tour that I began to see the real truth.  Before going, I decided to do some reading and research so I would know more when we visited the key places - something I had never done before so I didn't know a lot about Mormon Church History.  And what an eye-opener that was!!  After discovering the very sordid history of the Mormon Church, it wasn't long before I realized that the whole thing is built on a stack of lies, made up from the get-go by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and has been perpetuated over the years by other men for their own purposes. Those purposes, in my opinion, were/are to gain power and control over people in order to get as much of their money as they can.

Having been born and raised Mormon, I grew up believing what I was told, convinced that my parents would not lie to me and only wanted what was best for me.  Of course, they were both very TBM.  My mother was Relief Society President was I was a teenager, and stayed very active in the Mormon Church until the day she passed away at 64 years old (after having spent the morning at the Stake Center organizing the library).  But she wasn't as bad as my father, at least in my eyes.  My father was very pious and dogmatic about the whole thing.  He lived to be 92 years old and passed away in 2006, two years after I left the Mormon Church, but I never told him I had left because I knew he would preach "fire and brimstone" to me and I didn't want to hear what I knew he would say. Looking back, I still think I made the right decision because my "apostasy" probably would have irreparably damaged our relationship.

I have come to terms with the fact that I spent well over half my life in a bogus religion. What fascinates me now is how many very intelligent people there are who apparently still buy into Mormonism, and although they use critical thinking in other areas of their lives, they either cannot or will not use it when it comes to their religion.  I find that not only fascinating, but very sad.

So here is my 123rd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the tangled web of lies they spin...
and spin... and spin... and spin...

THE WEB OF LIES THEY SPIN

Sung to the tune of Thy Will, O Lord, Be Done – #188

1. When in the depths of questioning,
Deceit apparent from within,
And in my full awakening,
I saw the web of lies they spin.

2. The Mormon Church is fraudulent,
A stack of lies, to my chagrin.
Distressed at all the years I spent
When clear the web of lies they spin.

3. For years, I just denied the lies,
I stuffed it down, just kept it in,
But research made me realize
The tangled web of lies they spin.

4. They cover-up and say it’s true
As they skate by on ice so thin
That I knew I must say adieu
Since clear the web of lies they spin.

© Diane Tingen, 12/29/2015

IT IS NOT TRUE - LDS Hymn Parody #122

Here is my 122nd LDS Hymn Parody - and in keeping with the main theme of this blog, this one is entitled, "IT IS NOT TRUE." Looking back at my 52 years as a member of the Mormon Church, it still amazes me that I stayed for so long.  After all, I always had problems with some of the attitudes that are so prevalent within the Mormon Church, such as the obvious misogyny.  But naturally, I stuffed it down, telling myself that I just needed to be more humble.  You know, the old "if you pray more, study the scriptures more, attend church meetings more" ramble.  If I did all that, then I would gain more of the spirit and would better understand my place in the eternal scheme of things.  Of course, I also had problems with certain doctrines (such as polygamy), but whenever something like that came along, I just put it on my shelf and tried to ignore my doubts.

So I struggled for many years, stuffing certain things down and putting other things on my imaginary shelf.  It wasn't until I went on a Mormon Church History tour in the Summer of 2001, and decided to study church history so I would know more when we visited the key places that I began to realize that my lifelong religion is replete with sordid history. The problem was that the more I studied and researched, the more I began to see that Mormonism is also replete with bogus doctrine.  In reality, it is a complete fraud, very obviously made up by Joseph Smith (a shyster and charlatan), and perpetuated by many others since his death.

Arriving at the conclusion that IT IS NOT TRUE was not easy.  But relieving myself of the cognitive dissonance that I had been dealing with for so many years was very freeing - and living an authentic life for the past 10 years has been its own reward.  I'm so thankful to say that I am happier now than I have ever been.  A long road - but definitely worth it!!

So here is my newest LDS hymn parody.  Since the music for this hymn is not in the LDS Music Playlist (due to copyright considerations), I attached a video that I found on YouTube - this is a "rockin' version" of How Great Thou Art, which I think it much better than the other versions I found, most of which are way too schmaltzy (at least for my taste).

IT IS NOT TRUE

Sung to the tune of How Great Thou Art – #86

When I began

To question Mormon doctrine,
Consider all the things
That made no sense.
I saw the flaws,
I read the sordid history,
The lies throughout
For which there’s no defense.

[Chorus]
Within my soul,
I knew without a doubt,
It is not true,
It is not true.

Within my soul,
I knew without a doubt,
It is not true.
It is not true.

And so I left,
I closed the door completely,
Just walked away
And left it all behind.
The Mormon Church,
Replete with pure deception,
So clear to me,
I am no longer blind.

[Chorus]
Within my soul,
I know without a doubt,
It is not true,
It is not true.

Within my soul,
I know without a doubt,
It is not true.
It is not true.

© Diane Tingen, 11/10/2015