ExMormon Hymn Book: February 2012

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

OH, HOLY CRAP, IT'S FILLED WITH LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #60

So here's my 60th LDS Hymn Parody... with no signs of stopping...

Pretty self-explanatory... follows my recurring theme that Mormonism is just a pile of lies, made up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by many others since his time...

OH, HOLY CRAP, IT’S FILLED WITH LIES

Sung to the tune of Oh, Holy Words of Truth and Love, #271

Oh, Holy Crap, it’s filled with lies,
The Mormonism fraud,
And though they say it was restored,
It did not come from God.

(Chorus)
It is a total fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

It was made up by Joseph Smith,
A charlatan supreme.
Perpetuated through the years,
Just like a Ponzi scheme.

(Chorus)
It is a total fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

I was a Mormon through and through
Until I found the lies.
And now I find myself appalled,
Dismay I can’t disguise.

(Chorus)
It is a total fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

I wish the Mormons weren’t so blind,
That they would take a look
At what they’re told to just believe,
Examine every nook.

(Chorus)
For it is just a fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

But sadly, Mormons just believe,
Don’t research critically.
Accepting what they’re told is true,
They follow dutifully.

(Chorus)
But it is just a fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

Monday, February 20, 2012

I'M FREE FROM MORMONISM NOW - LDS Hymn Parody #59

Another LDS Hymn Parody... #59... one away from my current goal of 60!!

This one is very self-explanatory, so I won't go into a long, detailed preface. Suffice it to say that I'm absolutely thrilled to be away from Mormonism... and finally free to just be ME...

I’M FREE FROM MORMONISM NOW
Sung to the tune of God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son, #187

I’m free from Mormonism now,
And to it all, I won’t kowtow.
I saw the lies throughout it all,
My testimony’s quick downfall.

The Mormon Church is in my past,
So happy to be free at last.
It is not true, a total fraud,
Though Mormons say it comes from God.

They close their eyes and just believe,
So faithful and yet so naïve.
Not facing what the truth might be,
But he is blind who will not see.

Through research I could see the lies,
Deception they cannot disguise.
Life’s short so we must seize each day,
Not in a false religion stay.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

THE PLAN IS IN PLACE - LDS Hymn Parody #58

OK, I'm on a roll again... and here is my 58th LDS Hymn Parody...

This one is very self-explanatory. It follows a recurring theme of the mindless sheep just going along without thinking for themselves (you know, like Come, Come Ye Sheep), which I'm sure is part of "the plan" created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by many others since his time...

THE PLAN IS IN PLACE
Sung to the tune of The Lord is my Light, #89

The plan is in place, the sheep must obey,
So keep them in line throughout every day.
They must show compliance in every detail
Because Mormonism cannot ever fail.

(Chorus)
The plan… is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

The plan is in place, what more can we say?
Get them to submit and money they’ll pay.
You know Mormonism is simply a fraud,
But they will comply if they think it’s from God.

(Chorus)
The plan… is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

You know Joseph Smith, a Prophet of God,
Created the plan, a brilliant façade.
And so we must follow what Joseph foresaw,
A bunch of mindless sheep chanting baa, baa, baa…

(Chorus)
The plan is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

And so here we are, the Internet Age,
Where Google is king, an all-knowing sage.
We need to be certain the sheep remain blind,
Forbid them to research, the truth they won’t find.

(Chorus)
The plan is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

© Diane Tingen, 2/16/2012

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

MORMONS SAY THEIRS IS THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #57

When I was doing my research about the Mormon Church, its history and its doctrines, I began to realize that what I had heard growing up about the Mormon Church being a cult might actually be true. Of course, when I was growing up and heard anyone say that the Mormon Church was a cult, I was adamant in my defense of it, saying "Oh no, it's not a cult." Back then, though, I thought of cults as extremist organizations that require their members to wear weird clothing (or costumes), live in a commune of some sort, or stand on street corners chanting weird verbiage. But those characteristics are not what makes a cult a cult. It's their belief system, usually extreme, and always very rigid and inflexible.

So when I began to examine Mormonism very closely, I decided to read a few books about cults - and I very quickly came to the conclusion that Mormonism is, indeed, a cult. After all, it fits all of the characteristics of being a cult.

I won't go into a lot of detail here since I delve into that topic in-depth in the book I wrote that is posted on this blog (in Chapter 11 - Is the Mormon Church a Cult?), but as stated there, one of the characteristics of a cult is EXCLUSIVISM - or in other words, a religion stating that it is the only true church and that adherence to its tenets is the only way to gain eternal salvation. Does that sound familiar? Of course it does... because that's Mormonism to a T. Interestingly, that premise is also expounded by the Jehovah Witnesses and other religions.

Here is an interesting article on cults (You Might be in a Cult if...), that discusses the characteristics of cults, including Mormonism. And here is another article discussing why Mormonism is a cult (http://www.believeallthings.com/5303/mormonism-cult/).

www.howcultswork.com

The philosophy of Exclusivism has always bothered me - even when I was a devout member of the Mormon Church. I always had trouble believing that only Mormons were going to gain eternal salvation "in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom." I struggled with the concept that there is "only one way" to "get to heaven" or gain eternal salvation - and that only the Mormon Church provides that possibility. Of course, the Mormons are very "generous" in that they say that those who do not accept Mormonism on this earth still have a chance in the Afterlife... and that's what temples are for, performing baptisms and other ordinances for the dead so that if they accept Mormonism in the Spirit World, then they can be exalted regardless of whether they were Mormon in this life. Isn't that nice of the Mormon God? What a guy, huh?!!

But of course, there's a catch... and my very TBM father used to preface that supposed doctrinal statement with saying that people's personalities and thought processes won't change after this life, so if they didn't accept the gospel here, then the likelihood of them accepting it in the Afterlife is very slim. Kind of a disclaimer clause (and Mormonism is full of them).

And so, here is my 57th LDS Hymn Parody...

MORMONS SAY THEIRS IS THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of Teach Me to Walk in the Light - #304

Mormons say theirs is the only true church,
And who am I to their doctrines besmirch.
But it’s apparent that it’s filled with lies,
Research, research may open their eyes.

It is through research that I found the truth,
Wish I had studied much more in my youth.
But I believed it as they said I should,
Rewind, rewind my life if I could.

Going along when they say just believe
Is what they want as they work to deceive.
Good little sheep, what the members should be,
Yielding, yielding their free agency.

It might be clear if they opened their eyes,
Truth so apparent, there’s no compromise.
Dishonesty manifested throughout,
Fiction, fiction, without any doubt.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

MORMONISM IS NOT TRUE - LDS Hymn Parody #56

Yes, I've definitely turned into a broken record... repeating myself, over and over and over again... Mormonism is laced with lies... Mormonism is laced with lies... it's all lies... it's all lies... it's all lies!!!

And perhaps I'm even beating a dead horse... but I've gotten to the point in my "apostasy" from the Mormon Church where I just can't keep quiet about all the lies and deception laced throughout Mormonism. It's just so apparent if examined closely, away from what the Mormon Church deems as "authorized research" (which in actuality is their own white-washed version of everything).

Besides, the ExMormon Hymn Book just seems to write itself...

So here is my 56th LDS Hymn Parody...

MORMONISM IS NOT TRUE

Sung to the tune of God of Power, God of Right - #20

Mormonism is not true,
I’m so glad I got a clue.
Turned away from all the lies,
Pure deception, no disguise.

Joseph Smith was just a fraud,
Did not speak the Word of God.
Made it up right from the start,
Bogus doctrine, off the chart.

Doing research on my own
Showed me lies I can’t condone.
Truth is what I seek in life,
Not a church that brings me strife.

Glossing over what is true
Cannot be what’s best for you.
All the lies can’t be ignored,
Seeking truth its own reward.

© Diane Tingen, 02/12/2012

When I first began writing LDS Hymn Parodies, I first began by posting them on my other blog (http://mormonismschism.blogspot.com/), and then decided it would be a good idea for them to have their own dedicated place (with special pages in alphabetical order and all), so this blog was created for that purpose.

Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I spent my entire life singing hymns, not only in church meetings but also in various Ward and Stake Choirs (and even in the Southern California Mormon Choir). Ward Choir Director was also my calling for awhile. Since I also play the piano (and learned from a Mormon piano teacher), I also learned to play the hymns, and was Pianist in Primary, Sunday School, and Relief Society. Naturally, playing the piano led to learning to play the organ, and then being Ward Organist for a long time.

So it's no wonder that I have so many LDS hymns stuck in my brain. It amazes me just how many hymns I can still sing from memory. Of course, since I've been out of Mormonism now for over 8 years, it irritates me that I know the words to so many Mormon-themed hymns. So one day, I started making up alternative words - and found it very amusing and extremely cathartic. The first hymn I parodied was "I Stand All Amazed," and since then I haven't been able to stop. So I'm gonna just keep going until I can't think of anymore. But since I apparently have the gift for blasphemy (as my daughter recently told me), that probably won't happen anytime soon.

I hope you enjoy my "spin" on some old familiar LDS Hymn favorites. But if you don't, you're probably a TBM and not an ExMormon like me. Oh, well...

MY EXIT FROM MORMONISM

As a preface to my thoughts about Mormonism (and my exit from my lifelong religion), I would like to share the following quote:

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the
whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley,
Interview, "The Mormons,"
PBS Documentary, April 2007

In essence, after researching the roots of Mormonism, which obviously form its foundation, as well as examining its doctrine in depth, I have concluded that it is a great fraud. Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, and remaining LDS until my early 50's, facing that realization was very difficult and was not done lightly.

SOME BACKGROUND:
In the Summer of 2001, I went on a Mormon Church History Tour. Before going, I decided to do some research so I would know more about what occurred at the key places when we visited them. But that was the beginning of the end for me as I discovered more and more of the sordid history of the Mormon Church. Soon, I began to realize that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up and that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. Sadly, I also began to realize that I had allowed the Mormon Church to pull the wool over my eyes for a very long time. But even with that realization, it took me quite a while longer to finally break away because of how intricately my life was tied up in Mormonism and how long I had been blinded by the lies Mormonism perpetuates (which, of course, is what they are counting on).

But finally, I did break away - and I have now been Mormonism Free for over 8 years. What I have realized during the ensuing years is that my intellectual curiosity was squelched by Mormonism. Being told to "just believe" and "have faith" was very detrimental to my psyche, particularly since so much made little sense. Trying to rationalize through everything had a negative effect on me as well, making me very confused and uncomfortable. Since that time, I have discovered that these types of feelings are called "cognitive dissonance" (a feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions). Cognitive dissonance is discussed in greater length in a book I have written, which is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. Since leaving Mormonism behind, I have grown so much and have discovered who I really am - and that is a tremendous gift.

As noted above, a book I have written is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. That book (entitled "Finding My Own Voice: The AHA!! Moments of a Former Mormon Woman") chronicles my very long journey through and away from Mormonism and discussed many of the issues that had plagued me for many years. Also, on my other blog - www.mormonismschism.blogspot.com - you will find some poems I have written about my views concerning various aspects of Mormonism as well as discussions relative to the issues that led to my decision to eventually disassociate myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In sharing my opinions and the information I have uncovered, it is my hope that I can in some small way help others by offering some insights into issues that many Mormons undoubtedly face in determining whether or not their faith has been misplaced.

For those of you who are thinking, "Oh, those Ex-Mormons... they can leave the church but they can't leave it alone," I offer this quote:

"Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well? ~Christopher Miller

While I'm sure that active Mormons (TBMs) and the Mormon Church itself would be much happier if people who have left the church kept their opinions to themselves, I cannot do that. If I can help one person to see the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism, then I will feel that my efforts have not been in vain.