THE ONE TRUE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #83

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH.  That phrase has always bothered me, even when I was a TBM.  So rigid and presumptuous.

My late father was very pious and dogmatic about Mormonism, and actually told many people (including my sister-in-law's sister) that if they didn't join the Mormon Church, they were going to HELL.  The man was not known for his tact or diplomacy. 

Since that phrase did bother me so much, and I loved to pull my father's chain, I used to tell him a joke that goes like this:

A man died and went to Heaven.  As he approached the Pearly Gates, he was met by St. Peter who told him he was going to give him a tour of Heaven.  They started walking around, and St. Peter pointed out areas where different people were congregated – saying, “Those are the Catholics, and the Lutherans are over there.  The Presbyterians are over there, and there are the Methodists.  The Buddhists are over there, and there are the Baptists.”

Looking puzzled, the man asked St. Peter, “OK, but who are those people way off in the distance?” to which St. Peter responded, “Oh, those are the Mormons.  They think they’re the only ones here.”

Needless to say, my father didn’t like it when I told him this joke, and it would launch him into a dissertation on “the way things are” during which he would repeat his routine about how, in essence, “Mormons are the only ones going to Heaven, and everyone else is going to Hell.”  After all, he would say, that is what the Temples are for – to baptize and do all necessary ordinances for our dead ancestors who did not accept the gospel (according to the Mormon Church) while they were here on earth.  Then my father would ask me, “Why would the Mormon Church build all those temples and do all those ordinances if it wasn’t for an actual purpose?”  Oh, I don’t know, Dad.  Maybe it’s because they are crazy?

As I got older, I also voiced my opinions about Church doctrine to my father several times.  When I talked to him about my thoughts, he told me that my “liberal attitudes were going to get me into trouble one day.”  At the time when he said that, I thought about responding to that statement, disagreeing with him or telling him more about how I felt, but I resisted the urge since I didn’t want it to appear that I was goading him on or trying to provoke him in any way.  Now I wish I had voiced more of my opinions to him because then at least I would feel that I had expressed myself entirely to him.  Maybe one day, I’ll get the chance to do that in the Afterlife (that is, if I don’t go to HELL since my father will, undoubtedly, be in the Celestial Kingdom – at least, in his own mind).



Simply take out "Restored Church of God" and replace it with
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
After all, the LDS Church (the Mormons) is
THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE CHURCH OF GOD.
Yeah, right...

So here is my 83rd LDS hymn parody, highlighting that incredibly annoying phrase, "The One True Church."  And I think I'll dedicate it to my late father who, if there is an Afterlife, is most likely turning over in his grave at this point, convinced that his own daughter is going to HELL - or maybe even Outer Darkness.

THE ONE TRUE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of The Morning Breaks, #1

The one true church, the Mormons say,
Interpret truth in their own way.
Deny the facts, the evidence,
Deny the facts, the evidence,
And never use their common sense.

They say have faith and just believe,
So obvious that they deceive.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church is just a myth.

For many years, I went along
Though deep inside, I knew it's wrong.
But til I did my own research,
But til I did my own research,
I stayed within the Mormon Church.

As I stuck things up on my shelf,
And just denied my real self.
But then I could pretend no more,
But then I could pretend no more,
And so I finally closed the door.

I saw the lies and walked away,
Their twisted game I will not play.
I've seen the facts, unwoven lies,
I’ve seen the facts, unwoven lies,
There simply is no compromise.

A great reward to just be me,
To live my life authentically.
My own instincts I won't betray,
My own instincts I won’t betray
Close off my mind the Mormon Way.

© Diane Tingen, 1/29/2013

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST - LDS Hymn Parody #81

Everyone needs a Bucket List - all the things you want to do before you die.  There are many things on my Bucket List, and I'm trying to live my life so that many of those things I want to do before I shed this mortal coil.  But for me, the most important thing has already been done.  After coming to the realization that Mormonism is a fraud, I left it all behind - and finally became myself.  THE REAL ME.  

Lately, I've been thinking about how much I have changed over the past few years since leaving Mormonism.  I used to be very complacent.  Didn't want to make waves.  Tried to blend into the background.  Took everything so seriously.  Especially Mormonism.  I didn't understand many things about my "chosen religion," and I had many questions, but I still went along.  Just like a good little Mormon girl/woman.  What irks me the most if that for most of my life, I wasn't intellectually curious enough to research or study anything that wasn't "authorized" by the Mormon Church.  I accepted whatever they told me.  And whatever I didn't understand, I put on my "shelf," thinking that I must not be righteous enough to comprehend those doctrines or principles.  I believed the hype that I just needed to study more, pray more, attend more church meetings, and try harder to be a good Mormon woman.  Didn't make me feel very satisfied, but I was certain that was the price I needed to pay for not being "good enough."

Simply put, I was the Mormon version of my true self - who I thought I was supposed to be.  NOT THE REAL ME.

Leaving Mormonism is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Shedding the shackles of the past freed me to finally BE MYSELF... and I've never been happier than I am right now.  When I discovered all the lies laced throughout Mormonism, it was quite a shock.  The more I researched, the more I discovered, and the more flabbergasted I became.  Layer upon layer, I uncovered the deception, the intricate web of lies created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated through the years by many other men.  At first, I didn't know what to do, but in the end, I knew I had no other choice than to disassociate myself from the Mormon Church.

When I finally stopped going to church with no intention of every returning is when I finally began to realize who I really am.  A strong, competent, intellectually curious woman who spent many years with her true personality being suppressed and squelched by a religion that plays very fast and loose with the truth.  Of course, I was very angry that I had spent 52 years in such a religion - and in many ways, I felt that my life had been stolen from me.  I questioned why my parents even joined the church when I was only 10 months old, essentially subjecting me to a Mormon life without my consent.  I kicked myself for not being more intellectually curious at a younger age because perhaps then I would have discovered the lies sooner.  Basically, I had let them lead me along for so many years.  A mindless sheep.  But eventually, I worked through the anger and realized that if I let those types of thoughts define my life, then Mormonism is still winning.  That's when I decided to start this blog, which has been a great outlet for my many thoughts about Mormonism, its lies, and the effects of the deception it perpetuates.

And so, below is an LDS Hymn Parody I have written about My Bucket List.  Although there are many other things on my Bucket List, #1 is already checked off.  SIMPLY BE MYSELF.  DONE.

HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST
Sung to the tune of High on the Mountain Top - #5

High on my Bucket List,
The things I want to do
Before I leave this world
And bid this life adieu.
I simply want to be myself,
And empty off my Mormon shelf.

For way too many years
My shelf did overflow,
Just shoving things up there
And watching it all grow.
But then I saw the stack of lies,
The truth revealed, no more disguise.

That’s when I finally found
The courage from inside
To simply be myself,
And I no longer hide
From what the truth has done for me,
It made me strong and set me free.

So thankful that I’m not
Still caught within the Church,
I’m Mormonism Free,
Their doctrine I besmirch.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church, a total myth.

No shadow of a doubt,
I know it’s filled with lies.
I've seen the evidence
Each TBM denies.
I wish they’d look with open eyes,
Then they might say their own goodbyes.

So now my Bucket List,
A check by #1,
The most important thing
I finally have done.
I've shed the pain and dried my tears,
In peace I’ll live throughout my years.

© Diane Tingen, 1/21/2013

SO....

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR BUCKET LIST...

THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL AT LAST - LDS Hymn Parody #80

Looking back over the past few years, I can honestly say that I am happier now than I have ever been.  Leaving Mormonism behind was the best thing I ever did.  I am living an authentic life now, without any of the strife I felt for so many years.  Trying to "have faith" and "just believe" as they told me to do was literally killing me.  This is especially true when I began to question in earnest, after going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001.  When I began to discover the lies behind the Mormon Curtain as well as the sordid history that is the foundation for it all, I began to realize that I had been struggling for so long because it simply isn't true. 

For so long, I thought it was me - that I was the problem.  Being given the message (whether spoken or implied) that I wasn't righteous enough to understand it all made me feel completely inadequate.  I accepted the challenge to study more, pray more, and be more obedient, and also took to heart the admonition given in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 4-5:

4  And when we shall receive these things, I would exhort you that we would ask God, the Eternal Faith, in the name of Christ,. if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Of course, the message a person is given is that if they do not receive the answer that the Book of Mormon, as well as Mormonism itself, is true, then they are at fault - they are not asking with "...a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ..." 
But what I finally realized is that doing all that didn't work because that premise was being applied to the wrong scenario.  What I ultimately discovered is that Mormonism is an elaborate web of lies made up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated since his death by many others who had or have as much riding on keeping everyone in the dark as did Joseph Smith himself.

Naturally, though, the Mormon Church strongly admonishes its members to not do any independent research, to only rely on "faith-promoting materials" that the Mormon Church itself disseminates.  That directive is wrong on so many levels - and at its root is the fact that charging its members with these instructions is one of the defining signs that it is actually a CULT.  The bottom line is that if there was nothing to hide then it would not matter what anyone reads or researches.

Breaking free from Mormonism gave me a new lease on life.  It helped me to shed years of strife that had placed a burden on my shoulders that was at times overwhelming.  Living an authentic life and being true to myself is a tremendous relief.  I hope that others who are still trapped within Mormonism will do their own independent research without fear of reprimand, chastizement and/or punishment - particularly since it is my understanding that a question has been added to Temple Recommend Interview List about doing independent research and looking at what the Mormons consider to be "Anti-Mormon propaganda" contained on various websites (and if answered that a person has looked at this type of material, a temple recommend will most likely be denied).

Mormons are told to "just believe" and to have "faith."  As I've said before, though, having faith is all well and good, but when there is a mountain of evidence against something being true, then continuing to "just believe" is not faith anymore but rather denial.

So here is my 80th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to transcending beyond Mormonism and discovering that There is Sunshine in my Soul - AT LAST!!!

THERE IS SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL AT LAST
Sung to the tune of There is Sunshine in My Soul Today - #227

There is sunshine in my soul at last,
A joy I can’t disguise.
So glad that I have broken free
From Mormonism’s lies.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is music in my soul at last,
A glorious refrain.
For I did research on my own,
And finally used my brain.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is springtime in my soul at last,
The dreariness is gone.
For now, I know that Joseph lied,
And he was just a con.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

There is gladness in my soul at last,
Such ecstasy and bliss.
For I have seen the false pretense,
That it is all amiss.

(Chorus)
Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine
Without Mormonism in my life.
The questioning is gone for good,
Said goodbye to years of strife.

© Diane Tingen, 12/28/2012