ExMormon Hymn Book: SO PEACEFUL NOW

Friday, February 22, 2013

SO PEACEFUL NOW - LDS Hymn Parody #85

Looking back on my years as an active Mormon, I remember so many times when I was riddled with doubt. Trying to push those lingering feelings aside seemed useless, but despite feeling that way, I just kept going - pushing forward, putting my doubts up on my imaginary shelf, and telling myself that I just needed to be more faithful and trusting. After all, being born and raised Mormon, I had basically been taught that if I was having trouble accepting things, then it was something within me, not a flaw in the doctrine or teaching. A type of brainwashing, in my opinion. Questioning was okay as long I conceded that in the end, the doctrine was perfect and I was a mere mortal, struggling with attempting to comprehend eternal principles. As my father used to tell me, "We may not understand it all, but if we remain faithful and endure to the end, someday our minds will be opened and we will understand it all - and then we will know that it was worth it." Somehow, though, I could never get to the point where I felt comfortable with that supposed knowledge.

Once I began questioning in earnest, though, and began doing my own independent research, I started realizing that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. It was then that I realized I had allowed the Mormon Church to consume my life by letting them dictate what I was to believe as well as my every thought and action. I had simply gone along my entire life, and even though I had struggled to understand and accept it all, I had remained a devout Mormon through it all.

Was I happy in that perpetual state of uncertainty? No, I wasn't. True happiness had eluded me because I had been living a life that someone else had hoisted on me and with which I wasn't in harmony. It was then that I realized I needed to extricate myself from Mormonism and live an authentic life. Once I did that, I finally reached a state of mind that I had longed for my entire life. Peace. Total and complete peace within my mind and soul - and that is priceless.

So here is my 85th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the peace I have felt within myself ever since putting Mormonism behind me and moving forward into an authentic life.

SO PEACEFUL NOW
Sung to the tune of Our Savior's Love - #113

So peaceful now,
The truth has set me free at last.
Think about how
The struggling has passed.
Tried to believe,
But so much made such little sense,
The lies they weave
Are clear... just false pretense.

For many years
I put so much up on my shelf,
Shed many tears
So torn within myself.
But now I know
The Mormon Church is built on lies,
The facts all show
That there… is no disguise.

Such joy inside,
The fear and doubt have left my soul.
My tears have dried
And I am finally whole.
No doubts remain
That Mormonism is a fraud.
Deception plain,
It’s not… the Word of God.

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MY EXIT FROM MORMONISM

As a preface to my thoughts about Mormonism (and my exit from my lifelong religion), I would like to share the following quote:

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the
whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley,
Interview, "The Mormons,"
PBS Documentary, April 2007

In essence, after researching the roots of Mormonism, which obviously form its foundation, as well as examining its doctrine in depth, I have concluded that it is a great fraud. Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, and remaining LDS until my early 50's, facing that realization was very difficult and was not done lightly.

SOME BACKGROUND:
In the Summer of 2001, I went on a Mormon Church History Tour. Before going, I decided to do some research so I would know more about what occurred at the key places when we visited them. But that was the beginning of the end for me as I discovered more and more of the sordid history of the Mormon Church. Soon, I began to realize that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up and that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. Sadly, I also began to realize that I had allowed the Mormon Church to pull the wool over my eyes for a very long time. But even with that realization, it took me quite a while longer to finally break away because of how intricately my life was tied up in Mormonism and how long I had been blinded by the lies Mormonism perpetuates (which, of course, is what they are counting on).

But finally, I did break away - and I have now been Mormonism Free for over 8 years. What I have realized during the ensuing years is that my intellectual curiosity was squelched by Mormonism. Being told to "just believe" and "have faith" was very detrimental to my psyche, particularly since so much made little sense. Trying to rationalize through everything had a negative effect on me as well, making me very confused and uncomfortable. Since that time, I have discovered that these types of feelings are called "cognitive dissonance" (a feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions). Cognitive dissonance is discussed in greater length in a book I have written, which is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. Since leaving Mormonism behind, I have grown so much and have discovered who I really am - and that is a tremendous gift.

As noted above, a book I have written is coming soon to Amazon.com and Kindle. That book (entitled "Finding My Own Voice: The AHA!! Moments of a Former Mormon Woman") chronicles my very long journey through and away from Mormonism and discussed many of the issues that had plagued me for many years. Also, on my other blog - www.mormonismschism.blogspot.com - you will find some poems I have written about my views concerning various aspects of Mormonism as well as discussions relative to the issues that led to my decision to eventually disassociate myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In sharing my opinions and the information I have uncovered, it is my hope that I can in some small way help others by offering some insights into issues that many Mormons undoubtedly face in determining whether or not their faith has been misplaced.

For those of you who are thinking, "Oh, those Ex-Mormons... they can leave the church but they can't leave it alone," I offer this quote:

"Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well? ~Christopher Miller

While I'm sure that active Mormons (TBMs) and the Mormon Church itself would be much happier if people who have left the church kept their opinions to themselves, I cannot do that. If I can help one person to see the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism, then I will feel that my efforts have not been in vain.