GRASPING AT STRAWS - LDS Hymn Parody #93

 

 

In thinking about Mormonism, so many cliches, idioms and phrases come to mind, such as: (1) Jumping to conclusions; (2) Burying their heads in the sand; (3) Turning a blind eye; (4) Turning a deaf ear; (5) Grasping at straws; etc.

Of course, many Mormons think that anyone who leaves the Mormon Church is going to hell in a handbasket. Naturally, TBMs think that all Ex-Mormons have an axe to grind, that we are all loose cannons, and have seriously lost our marbles. They seem to constantly be jumping to conclusions about Ex-Mormons' motives, state of mind, and even morals.

Sadly, though, discussing subjects relating to Mormonism with most Mormons is not a level playing field because so many have absolutely no idea about the real facts surrounding Mormon Church History or that it is extremely sordid. Many TBMs also have limited information about the realities of Mormon teachings and doctrines. Even if they do listen, they quickly jump to the conclusion that what Ex-Mormons are really talking about is simply all smoke and mirrors and that Ex-Mormons are trying to pull the wool over their eyes.

So many TBMs simply go along and turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to anything even slightly negative about the Mormonism. "There's none so blind as those who will not see" (and likewise, there's none so deaf as will not hear). Essentially, they seem to spend their time burying their heads in the sand, refusing to even look at other viewpoints. Also, so many seem to grasp at straws, rationalizing their way through Mormonism and its obvious problems, attempting to invent a way to color it all in a positive light.

So here is my 93rd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to one of the exercises that all TBMs seem to get a lot of...

GRASPING AT STRAWS
Sung to the tune of True to the Faith - #254

1. While the Mormon Church continues
To attempt to hide details
All about its sordid history,
In the end, the truth prevails. Yes!!

(Chorus)
Grasping at straws as the Mormons refuse to see,
They just believe what they’re told to obediently.
It’s full of lies, there’s no disguise,
And for the truth, there’s no compromise.

2. The deception is apparent
If you open up your eyes.
Do some independent research
And the lies you’ll recognize. Yes!!

(Chorus)
Grasping at straws as the Mormons refuse to see,
They just believe what they’re told to obediently.
It’s full of lies, there’s no disguise,
And for the truth, there’s no compromise.

3. It is clear that Mormonism
Was a hoax right from the start.
Was made up by Brother Joseph
With deception off the chart. Yes!!

(Chorus)
Grasping at straws as the Mormons refuse to see,
They just believe what they’re told to obediently.
It’s full of lies, there’s no disguise,
And for the truth, there’s no compromise.

4. How they market Mormonism
Saying it’s the Word of God,
Is a ploy to gain new members,
Mormonism is a fraud. Yes!!

(Chorus)
Grasping at straws as the Mormons refuse to see,
They just believe what they’re told to obediently.
It’s full of lies, there’s no disguise,
And for the truth, there’s no compromise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/4/2013

COME, ALL THOSE WHO SEE THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #92

Looking back at those very dark days when I was earnestly questioning the Mormon Church, I remember struggling with so many things. Having been born and raised Mormon, my life was completely submerged in Mormonism - so I knew that if I decided to walk away, I was giving up much more than just my religion. I was giving up the only way of life I had ever known. Of course, that's what the Mormon Church counts on, and that's the way they keep a lot of members. In the end, though, I decided that was a small price to pay for living an authentic life - but in the midst of it all, I was in a great deal of turmoil.

I really wish that I had turned to the Ex-Mormon community earlier in my disaffection. But I did not go on any Ex-Mormon or Post-Mormon websites until I had already left the Church. In fact, the first time I went on www.exmormon.org was after Thanksgiving dinner in 2008 when my brother told me that he wanted to show me the genealogy he had uploaded onto the Mormon Church genealogy website - www.familysearch.org. After looking at our family genealogy on www.familysearch.org, I decided to look at Joseph Smith's pedigree chart - and that is when I first discovered that Joseph Smith had married women who were already married to living husbands. When I first made this discovery, I was completely dumbfounded since I had been a member of the Mormon Church for over 52 years before I finally disassociated myself from my life-long religion - and not once had I heard of this even taking place. Naturally, I had heard of Polygamy (although I never really knew the real truth behind that practice until I began my research prior to going on the Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001). But Polyandry? I was floored!!

When I got home from that Thanksgiving dinner, I decided to do some more research about this - and that's when I found out that this practice is called Polyandry. On Google, I saw links to some articles about Polyandry, and followed a few of them. One of the links lead me to www.exmormon.org and an article by Bob McCue about this. After reading this article, I decided to go on the discussion board, and that was the first time that I even exchanged messages with any Ex-Mormons. It was an enlightening experience because whereas I had struggled for a few years with thinking that I was misunderstanding things, that I must just not be righteous enough to understand it all, etc., etc., ad nauseum, I began to realize that many others shared my views of the lies that are obviously laced throughout Mormonism. What a eye-opener that was!!

Of course, the fact that I didn't go onto www.exmormon.org until then is a testament to the brainwashing I had received my entire life. Even in the aftermath of my discovery of the deception that is encompassed in Mormonism, subconsciously I had continued to follow the admonition not to talk to "those angry apostates." Truly, brainwashing dies hard.

So if I had one thing to do over again in my journey away from Mormonism, it would have been to garner strength from those who were also questioning as well as those who had already made the leap to leave. That would have provided so much reassurance and would have made me not feel so alone in my quest for truth as well as my decision to close the door and walk away. That is what is so valuable about websites like www.exmormon.org. Later on, I discovered www.postmormon.org as well, and I gained a lot of strength from discussions on that website as well. In fact, after talking with a lot of people on there, I ended up going to the 2010 Ex-Mormon Conference in SLC and met many of those people in person, which was a wonderful experience. After that, I ended up joining several Ex-Mormon groups on Facebook, and have made more friends there. During all of this, I have discovered that there is a very large community of Former Mormons out there, providing support not only to those who have already left but also to those who are in the process of questioning and re-examining their views about Mormonism.

And so, here is my 92nd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to all the Former Mormons out there...

COME, ALL THOSE WHO SEE THE LIES

Sung to the tune of Come, Ye Thankful People - #94

Come, all those who see the lies,
Those who finally recognize
Mormonism is not true,
Pure deception through and through.
Yes, we’ve seen the truth at last,
And though we were once downcast,
The conclusions we have drawn
Lead us to a brighter dawn.

Lies are laced throughout it all,
Truth is written on the wall.
We reject the Mormon Church
Through the facts and our research.
We’re so grateful that we saw
Each defect and every flaw.
It is just a stack of lies,
Evidence they can’t disguise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/3/2013

BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT - LDS Hymn Parody #91

Beyond the shadow of a doubt. There are certain phrases that immediately remind me of my many years in the Mormon Church, and this is one of them. I heard that phrase so many times in church that I lost count, and particularly in Fast and Testimony Meeting - and I'm sure I said it many times way back when I was still a devout Mormon, without even realizing what it really meant.

When I saw this picture, I really liked it because it demonstrates what this phrase really means. The man is standing outside the shadow of the word "Doubt." This precisely shows just how far outside of "Doubt" my convictions really are about the many falsehoods within Mormonism.

On Wikipedia, this phrase is defined as follows:

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, or beyond a shadow of a doubt, is a standard of proof. The phrase means the issue in question is so obvious, or has been so thoroughly proven, that there can exist no doubt. Two possible interpretations of "Beyond a shadow" might refer, first, to the fact that doubt could be nowhere in the vicinity (completely expelled from the issue), or second, to the thoroughness of the argument (a shadow being even less substantial than a doubt itself).

After coming to the conclusion that Mormonism is a complete fraud, I can now say that "I know beyond the shadow of a doubt" that Mormonism was obviously created by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and perpetuated by other men ever since his death. Of that fact, there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind. It is very hard for me to understand how anyone can stay in the Mormon Church once they discover the actual truth behind the doctrines, teaching and history. But so many members mindlessly cling to it all, refusing to believe that it is actually an enormous stack of lies, and that the entire religion was a hoax from the get-go. Complete and total denial.

So here is my 91st LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to knowing "Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt" that Mormonism is a complete and total fraud, riddled with innumerable lies...

BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT

Sung to the tune of While of These Emblems We Partake - #173

Beyond the shadow of a doubt,
Though I believed and was devout,
Now I am sure it is a fraud,
And not at all the Word of God.

When looking at the Mormon Church,
Investigate and do research,
Examine all the evidence,
Clearly there is no good defense.

Seeing the facts, I could not stay,
Closed all the doors and walked away.
The Mormon Church is in my past,
A web of lies, so huge and vast.

It was made up by Joseph Smith,
What he created is a myth.
Mormons steadfastly cling to lies,
What they believe the truth belies.

© Diane Tingen, 4/2/2013