Thursday, April 4, 2013


Looking back at those very dark days when I was earnestly questioning the Mormon Church, I remember struggling with so many things. Having been born and raised Mormon, my life was completely submerged in Mormonism - so I knew that if I decided to walk away, I was giving up much more than just my religion. I was giving up the only way of life I had ever known. Of course, that's what the Mormon Church counts on, and that's the way they keep a lot of members. In the end, though, I decided that was a small price to pay for living an authentic life - but in the midst of it all, I was in a great deal of turmoil.

I really wish that I had turned to the Ex-Mormon community earlier in my disaffection. But I did not go on any Ex-Mormon or Post-Mormon websites until I had already left the Church. In fact, the first time I went on was after Thanksgiving dinner in 2008 when my brother told me that he wanted to show me the genealogy he had uploaded onto the Mormon Church genealogy website - After looking at our family genealogy on, I decided to look at Joseph Smith's pedigree chart - and that is when I first discovered that Joseph Smith had married women who were already married to living husbands. When I first made this discovery, I was completely dumbfounded since I had been a member of the Mormon Church for over 52 years before I finally disassociated myself from my life-long religion - and not once had I heard of this even taking place. Naturally, I had heard of Polygamy (although I never really knew the real truth behind that practice until I began my research prior to going on the Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001). But Polyandry? I was floored!!

When I got home from that Thanksgiving dinner, I decided to do some more research about this - and that's when I found out that this practice is called Polyandry. On Google, I saw links to some articles about Polyandry, and followed a few of them. One of the links lead me to and an article by Bob McCue about this. After reading this article, I decided to go on the discussion board, and that was the first time that I even exchanged messages with any Ex-Mormons. It was an enlightening experience because whereas I had struggled for a few years with thinking that I was misunderstanding things, that I must just not be righteous enough to understand it all, etc., etc., ad nauseum, I began to realize that many others shared my views of the lies that are obviously laced throughout Mormonism. What a eye-opener that was!!

Of course, the fact that I didn't go onto until then is a testament to the brainwashing I had received my entire life. Even in the aftermath of my discovery of the deception that is encompassed in Mormonism, subconsciously I had continued to follow the admonition not to talk to "those angry apostates." Truly, brainwashing dies hard.

So if I had one thing to do over again in my journey away from Mormonism, it would have been to garner strength from those who were also questioning as well as those who had already made the leap to leave. That would have provided so much reassurance and would have made me not feel so alone in my quest for truth as well as my decision to close the door and walk away. That is what is so valuable about websites like Later on, I discovered as well, and I gained a lot of strength from discussions on that website as well. In fact, after talking with a lot of people on there, I ended up going to the 2010 Ex-Mormon Conference in SLC and met many of those people in person, which was a wonderful experience. After that, I ended up joining several Ex-Mormon groups on Facebook, and have made more friends there. During all of this, I have discovered that there is a very large community of Former Mormons out there, providing support not only to those who have already left but also to those who are in the process of questioning and re-examining their views about Mormonism.

And so, here is my 92nd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to all the Former Mormons out there...

Sung to the tune of Come, Ye Thankful People - #94

Come, all those who see the lies,
Those who finally recognize
Mormonism is not true,
Pure deception through and through.
Yes, we’ve seen the truth at last,
And though we were once downcast,
The conclusions we have drawn
Lead us to a brighter dawn.

Lies are laced throughout it all,
Truth is written on the wall.
We reject the Mormon Church
Through the facts and our research.
We’re so grateful that we saw
Each defect and every flaw.
It is just a stack of lies,
Evidence they can’t disguise.
© Diane Tingen, 4/3/2013

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