THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER - LDS Hymn Parody #124

There's a few blogs that I follow in the ExMormon online community, and one of them is Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta who always has great insights, satirical and otherwise, into all things ExMormon). Earlier this year, Donna posted a two-part series of blog entries entitled, Why ExMormons Won't Leave the Church Alone.  What she said in those blog entries triggered my writing of Why Can't You Just Leave the Church Alone? (which was my 121st LDS Hymn Parody).  Now, again, a blog entry posted on Ward Gossip on December 19, 2015 has prompted me to write another LDS Hymn Parody.  That blog entry was entitled The Crazy Talk Gets Even Crazier - and that is so true!!  Just when you think it can't get crazier, it does. Mormons continue to blindly accept whatever they are told and will defend it even though what they are saying makes absolutely no sense. But even pointing that out doesn't do any good; they are so convinced of its "truth" that they seem comfortable in their ignorance.  When asked to simply exploration the possibility that what they are saying might not be true, they scoff and dig their heels in even harder.

What's sad is that I remember having that mindset.  When I was a devout Mormon, no one could convince me that it wasn't actually true.  Although I did have issues with certain aspects of Mormonism from an early age (which I put on my imaginary shelf), I nevertheless accepted it as the gospel truth and told myself that I just needed to be more humble; and that I also needed to pray more and read the scriptures more so I would be worthy to understand it all.  But even though I did those things, the issues I had remained, making me feel not only unworthy but also frustrated and extremely inadequate.  I look back on those times with complete disdain because I now know that I was chasing an elusive goal.

Amidst my questioning, as my imaginary shelf became more and more crowded with more and more issues until it was close to tumbling down, I finally did some research into Mormon Church History.  In doing so, I began to realize that Mormonism is simply not true. In time, I came to the conclusion that it is a completely bogus religion - and looking at it now, I ask myself how I could have accepted it for so long.  But then, hindsight is 20/20 and kicking yourself for past mindsets is futile.

So here is my 124th LDS Hymn Parody.  The crazy talk does keep getting crazier, but thank goodness I finally walked away and am no longer caught up in the ridiculous Mormon mindset (a/k/a denial) that made me think it wasn't crazy at all.

THE CRAZY TALK GETS CRAZIER

Sung to the tune of Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice - #21

1. The crazy talk gets crazier

As Mormons skirt the lies.
They will not see, it’s all a blur,
Deception in disguise.
They speak of truth yet just ignore
Whatever doesn’t fit.
It’s fraudulent right to its core,

A total pile of shit.

2. They say to simply doubt your doubts,
And cling to what they say.
But that is hard to figure out
Since facts get in the way.
There’s clearly lots of evidence
To prove deception deep,
But since they don’t use common sense,
They’ve all turned into sheep.

3. When questioning its truthfulness,
I finally saw the lies.
And now I see that it’s BS,
For truth, no compromise.
Deceit the Mormons try to spin
To camouflage the lies.
So obvious from deep within,
No matter its disguise.

4. Now due to my awakening,
I’m Mormonism free.
No longer to its lies I cling,
And I am finally ME.
The crazy talk gets crazier
With every passing day,
But now it’s gotten easier
To simply look away.

© Diane Tingen, 12/31/2015

THE WEB OF LIES THEY SPIN - LDS Hymn Parody #123

Ah yes, the "Web of Lies They Spin."  And what a tangled web it is!!  Cover-up, whitewash, deny... 
all in a day's work for the Mormon Church.

In looking back at my days as an active Mormon (which took up 52 years of my life!!), I'm mortified by how long they were able to pull the wool over my eyes.  It wasn't until the Summer of 2001 when I went on a Mormon Church History Tour that I began to see the real truth.  Before going, I decided to do some reading and research so I would know more when we visited the key places - something I had never done before so I didn't know a lot about Mormon Church History.  And what an eye-opener that was!!  After discovering the very sordid history of the Mormon Church, it wasn't long before I realized that the whole thing is built on a stack of lies, made up from the get-go by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and has been perpetuated over the years by other men for their own purposes. Those purposes, in my opinion, were/are to gain power and control over people in order to get as much of their money as they can.

Having been born and raised Mormon, I grew up believing what I was told, convinced that my parents would not lie to me and only wanted what was best for me.  Of course, they were both very TBM.  My mother was Relief Society President was I was a teenager, and stayed very active in the Mormon Church until the day she passed away at 64 years old (after having spent the morning at the Stake Center organizing the library).  But she wasn't as bad as my father, at least in my eyes.  My father was very pious and dogmatic about the whole thing.  He lived to be 92 years old and passed away in 2006, two years after I left the Mormon Church, but I never told him I had left because I knew he would preach "fire and brimstone" to me and I didn't want to hear what I knew he would say. Looking back, I still think I made the right decision because my "apostasy" probably would have irreparably damaged our relationship.

I have come to terms with the fact that I spent well over half my life in a bogus religion. What fascinates me now is how many very intelligent people there are who apparently still buy into Mormonism, and although they use critical thinking in other areas of their lives, they either cannot or will not use it when it comes to their religion.  I find that not only fascinating, but very sad.

So here is my 123rd LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the tangled web of lies they spin...
and spin... and spin... and spin...

THE WEB OF LIES THEY SPIN

Sung to the tune of Thy Will, O Lord, Be Done – #188

1. When in the depths of questioning,
Deceit apparent from within,
And in my full awakening,
I saw the web of lies they spin.

2. The Mormon Church is fraudulent,
A stack of lies, to my chagrin.
Distressed at all the years I spent
When clear the web of lies they spin.

3. For years, I just denied the lies,
I stuffed it down, just kept it in,
But research made me realize
The tangled web of lies they spin.

4. They cover-up and say it’s true
As they skate by on ice so thin
That I knew I must say adieu
Since clear the web of lies they spin.

© Diane Tingen, 12/29/2015

IT IS NOT TRUE - LDS Hymn Parody #122

Here is my 122nd LDS Hymn Parody - and in keeping with the main theme of this blog, this one is entitled, "IT IS NOT TRUE." Looking back at my 52 years as a member of the Mormon Church, it still amazes me that I stayed for so long.  After all, I always had problems with some of the attitudes that are so prevalent within the Mormon Church, such as the obvious misogyny.  But naturally, I stuffed it down, telling myself that I just needed to be more humble.  You know, the old "if you pray more, study the scriptures more, attend church meetings more" ramble.  If I did all that, then I would gain more of the spirit and would better understand my place in the eternal scheme of things.  Of course, I also had problems with certain doctrines (such as polygamy), but whenever something like that came along, I just put it on my shelf and tried to ignore my doubts.

So I struggled for many years, stuffing certain things down and putting other things on my imaginary shelf.  It wasn't until I went on a Mormon Church History tour in the Summer of 2001, and decided to study church history so I would know more when we visited the key places that I began to realize that my lifelong religion is replete with sordid history. The problem was that the more I studied and researched, the more I began to see that Mormonism is also replete with bogus doctrine.  In reality, it is a complete fraud, very obviously made up by Joseph Smith (a shyster and charlatan), and perpetuated by many others since his death.

Arriving at the conclusion that IT IS NOT TRUE was not easy.  But relieving myself of the cognitive dissonance that I had been dealing with for so many years was very freeing - and living an authentic life for the past 10 years has been its own reward.  I'm so thankful to say that I am happier now than I have ever been.  A long road - but definitely worth it!!

So here is my newest LDS hymn parody.  Since the music for this hymn is not in the LDS Music Playlist (due to copyright considerations), I attached a video that I found on YouTube - this is a "rockin' version" of How Great Thou Art, which I think it much better than the other versions I found, most of which are way too schmaltzy (at least for my taste).

IT IS NOT TRUE

Sung to the tune of How Great Thou Art – #86

When I began

To question Mormon doctrine,
Consider all the things
That made no sense.
I saw the flaws,
I read the sordid history,
The lies throughout
For which there’s no defense.

[Chorus]
Within my soul,
I knew without a doubt,
It is not true,
It is not true.

Within my soul,
I knew without a doubt,
It is not true.
It is not true.

And so I left,
I closed the door completely,
Just walked away
And left it all behind.
The Mormon Church,
Replete with pure deception,
So clear to me,
I am no longer blind.

[Chorus]
Within my soul,
I know without a doubt,
It is not true,
It is not true.

Within my soul,
I know without a doubt,
It is not true.
It is not true.

© Diane Tingen, 11/10/2015

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE THE CHURCH ALONE? - LDS Hymn Parody #121

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 121st.  This one is dedicated to all those TBMs out there who just can't understand why people who leave the Mormon Church just can't seem to leave it alone.

This subject was recently delved into on one of my favorite Ex-Mormon blogs, Ward Gossip (written by Donna Banta).  She covered this topic in two posts - Why Ex-Mormons Won't Leave the Church Alone, Parts 1 and 2.  In those posts, Donna brought out the two basic reasons why so many Ex-Mormons won't (can't?) leave the church alone:

Reason #1:  Because the church doesn't leave us alone.

In her first blog post, Donna cited the below:

• Mormon missionaries travel worldwide, knocking on doors and sharing their message.
• Members are encouraged to share the gospel with their neighbors and friends, also to reconvert "inactives," even when the so-called "inactive" has made it clear that he or she is no longer interested in attending.
• The church springs for in-your-face advertising: TV commercials, billboard, even a feature length film.
• Mormon temples and historical sites boast attractive, well-manned visitors' centers.
• They have a big choir that regularly tours and records.
• High profile Mormons in business, politics and the entertainment industry publicly embrace the faith.  In 2012 one even ran for president.
• The Mormon Church has encouraged/pressured its members to vote for and donate money to political causes that impose its narrow values on society at large.  For example, the extreme liquor laws in Utah, the successful opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment in the late 70's and early 80's, various gambling initiatives, and perhaps most notoriously, the successful passage of Proposition 8 that banned gay marriage in California back in 2008.

Reason #2:  Because being Mormon was an integral part of our life experience.

In Part 2, Donna's post included the below:

Five years ago I dedicated a post to my husband, Mark.  It was a brief bio that outlined his happy Mormon childhood, his fond mission memories, our courtship at BYU, etc.  Then I went on to quickly explain why we eventually decided to leave Mormonism.

Minutes after the post published, I received a person message from an old friend who scolded me for being negative about the church, called me a liar, and suggested that "people like me" should "just leave" and never talk about the church again.

Excuse me?  Never talked about this overwhelming experience that dominated our formative years and consumed over two decades of our lives?  Forget "why"?  How, exactly, does one do that?

Yes, how does one do that???... especially someone like me who was Mormon for FIVE DECADES OF MY LIFE??!!!

Very good outline of the reasons - I totally agree with all that Donna posted.

For me, though, there are a couple more reasons:

Reason #3:  The Mormon Church stifled me for far too long, and now that I've found my own voice, I must speak out.

As any Mormon or former Mormon knows, the Mormon Church attempts to stifle anyone who has a differing opinion from the accepted viewpoint.  Oh, you can question things, but as soon as you are given the "Mormon-approved answer," your questions are supposed to stop and you are supposed to simply accept whatever you are told.  Critical thinking of any kind is completely discouraged, if not prohibited.  This is what leads so many Mormons to push down their real feelings and put their issues on imaginary shelves, many of which finally tumble after too many years of performing that futile exercise.

So since having broken that horrible cycle and having found my own voice, no one is going to keep me quiet about my findings.  Naturally, the Mormon Church would prefer that those who leave the church would do so quietly and keep their findings and opinions to themselves - but I, for one, refuse to do that.

Reason #4:  Because unless people talk about what they've discovered, it won't do anyone else any good.

That's why I created this blog and why I post on it regularly.  It is my avenue for getting the word out... that the Mormon Church is a total and complete fraud that, in my opinion, was made by from the get-go by Joseph Smith and has been perpetuated ever since by many others (for their own purposes).  If I can reach only one person through my blog who is investigating or questioning Mormonism, then I'll feel like it's all been worth it.

And now, here is my 121st LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to all those TBMs who as that ridiculous question...

WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE THE CHURCH ALONE?

Sung to the tune of God Be With You Til We Meet Again ‑ #152

1. Why can’t you just leave the church alone?

Why do you just keep on bashing

What the Mormon Church is teaching?

Why can’t you just leave the church alone?

(Chorus)

Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Mormon Church do not besmirch.
Mormon Church, Mormon Church,
Why can’t you just leave the church alone?

2. Why should I just leave the church alone?
Why should I not share my findings
And so many of its failings?
Why should I just leave the church alone?

[Chorus]

Speaking out, speaking out,
Speaking out, that is my route.
Speaking out, speaking out,
Why should I just leave the church alone?

3. Why should I just leave the church alone?

I won’t let them crush my spirit
Or just stick me in the closet!!
No, I’ll never leave the church alone.

[Chorus]

Full of lies, full of lies,
Full of lies, there’s no disguise.

Full of lies, full of lies,
That’s why I won’t leave the church alone.

© Diane Tingen, 9/28/2015

A STACK OF LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #120

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 120th.  
This parody is to a song in the LDS Children's Songbook that I always really liked - very melodic.  Back in my Mormon days, I was Primary Chorister and Pianist, and this is a song that I liked to sing and play.  Within the lyrics of the original song, it says, "What does the Father ask of us?  What do the scriptures say?  Have faith, have hope, live like his Son, help others on their way. What does he ask?  Live like his Son."  Obviously, not bad advice.  

But, of course, when I looked at this song from my current ExMormon perspective, the parody became an entirely different song and the end result highlights the "stack of lies" that are, in  my opinion, at the very core of Mormonism.

The main thrust of this parody is that the Mormon Church is built on a stack of lies, and although TBMs have obviously been brainwashed into "just believing," the internet and Google are not available to help a person find the truth - and when a person does find the truth, the key to realizing what the real truth is found in thinking for yourself.  Critical thinking - analyzing all aspects of the subject matter and applying logic to it.  If a person does that, then he/she will know what's true and what isn't.  Plain and simple.

A STACK OF LIES

Sung to the tune of He Sent His Son - #34 (LDS Children’s Songbook)

What does the Mormon Church hold out as truth beyond compare?

A stack of lies, so fraudulent, deception everywhere.

How could the Mormon Church profess to be the Word of God?

It is not true, that’s very clear – it’s fake and just a fraud.

Why do the members of the church believe that it is true?

They have been brainwashed very well, they haven’t got a clue.

But now we have the Internet, and what does Google say?

Just find the truth, think for yourself, and simply walk away.

What does it say?  Think for yourself.

© Diane Tingen, 9/24/2015

COME, SEE ALL THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #119

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 119th (so far).  I keep thinking that I've reached the end of the road on these parodies, but they keep popping into my head so I keep writing them down.  Of course, with the wealth of material contained within Mormonism itself, as well as all the lies, deceit and deception they put out there, I guess it's really not a surprise that I can keep going.

What surprises me, though, is that there are so many people who still believe it, especially given what's available on the internet these days.  But then it's hard to tell who really believes it and those that are just going along because of personal or family pressures.  We all know people who are sticking with it because they simply can't make the separation, mentally or physically.  The Mormon Church has brainwashed so many people into "just believing," or at least "just going along."  I find that very sad.  So glad I was able to make the break and start living an entirely authentic life.

And so, here is my 119th LDS hymn parody.  The original hymn is "Come, Sing to the Lord," and that sounds very religious (and very Mormon with the whole "latter days" thing).  But I think it's interesting that my hymn parody has taken on more of a "carnival barker" vibe as in "Come, See the Bearded Lady" or "Come, See the Freak Show."  Not that Mormons are freaks, but the fact that they adhere to such an obviously bogus religion with so many strange doctrines within it is freakish all on its own.  Oh well, to each his own, right???  As long as they keep it to themselves... which they don't, so...

Something else that I find interesting is that Joseph Smith bought the papyrus that he supposedly "translated" into the Book of Abraham from a "traveling mummy exhibition." Now that's something you might find at a carnival... oh, the correlations..

COME, SEE ALL THE LIES

Sung to the tune of Come, Sing to the Lord - #10

1. Come, see all the lies the Mormons tell,
And you will see all is not well
Within the Mormon Church.
And though they claim that it is true,
Come see all the lies, and get a clue.

2. The doctrine they teach and all they say,

From BOM to BOA,
Is clearly filled with lies.
And all the facts and evidence
Will show you the lies, there’s no defense.

3. When searching for truth, no compromise,
No cover-ups, not filled with lies,
I simply want the truth.
So to the Mormon Church I say,
Don’t take me to church, just go away.

© Diane Tingen, 9/21/2015

AMAZING LIES - Hymn Parody #118

Well, I wrote this hymn parody to Amazing Grace, and then discovered that it's not in the LDS Hymn Book.  I really thought it was, but I guess based on what the Mormon Church teaches about grace, they decided not to include it.  After all, the Book of Mormon talks about grace "after all we can do," emphasizing that grace alone does not save a person.

On Mormon.org, this appears on the page about GRACE:

The Book of Mormon teaches, "For we labor diligently to write to persuade our children, and also our brethren to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace we are saved after all we can do (2 Nephi 25:23).  A Book of Mormon prophet named Lehi taught, "There is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah" (2 Nephi 2:8).

See this link:  https://www.mormon.org/faq/beliefs-on-grace 

But regardless of the fact that this beautiful hymn is not contained in the LDS Hymn Book, I decided to parody it for the ExMormon Hymn Book anyway since it's a well-known hymn in actual Christianity.

Some of the lyrics to Amazing Grace apply completely to my Exit from Mormonism, such as:
"I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see."  Believe me, that one line says a lot.

And yes, true to the title of this hymn parody, the lies encompassed within Mormonism are truly AMAZING - thanks mainly to the creative imagination of Joseph Smith.  As I have made very clear within this blog (as well as my book, Closing the Door on Mormonism: The AHA! Moments that Triggered my Awakening), it is my firm belief that Mormonism was made up from the get-go by "dear ol' Joe," and that it has been perpetuated through the years with the aid of many others.

In my opinion, not only were Brigham Young, Hyrum Smith, John Taylor, Martin Harris, Oliver Cowdery, and so on, accomplices to Joe's deception, but the current GAs in SLC are also complicit in the deception that is embodied within Mormonism.  I have no doubt but that they know for a fact that it is a complete fraud, but they keep hanging in there, defending it to their dying breaths, in order to get their share of the pie.

So I dedicate this hymn parody to all of the men (and women) who have worked so hard to preserve Mormonism to this day, as well as to all the TBMs who buy into the deception and keep paying their tithing, thereby lining the pockets of the 15 Mormon Men Who Call The Shots.

AMAZING LIES

Sung to the tune of Amazing Grace

Amazing lies the Mormons tell,
Say it’s the Word of God.
But if you look at what they sell,
So clearly it’s a fraud.

‘Twas lies that made me finally see
That truth is nowhere seen
Within their ideology,
Deceptiveness routine.

Through many struggles and discord,

I found myself confused.
‘Tis through the research I explored
My turmoil was defused.

The search for truth began for me
When doubt entered my mind.
Discovered sordid history,
Deception intertwined.

Though it was hard to close the door,
I knew I had no choice.
Denial gone, suppressed no more,

No silencing my voice.

Amazing lies the Mormons tell,
Say it’s the Word of God.
But if you look at what they sell,
So clearly it’s a fraud.

© Diane Tingen, 8/25/2015

THE VOICE OF REASON HAS BEEN HEARD - LDS Hymn Parody #117

Ah yes, the voice of reason has been heard - and thank goodness for that!!  Having been practically born and raised Mormon, I was programmed from a very early age not to doubt and to just believe. Critical thinking was never part of the equation. Of course, just accepting things that are told to you and not questioning or digging deeper is not wise. But that's what Mormons are taught to do.  I'm so glad I finally researched on my own to find the actual truth - that the Mormon Church is built on a stack of lies.

And so the cycle has been broken.  No longer am I clinging to a religion that is obviously bogus.  So yes, I rejoice my extrication every day, so thankful for my final disconnection.

THE VOICE OF REASON HAS BEEN HEARD

Sung to the tune of The Voice of God Again is Heard – #18

1. The voice of reason has been heard,

The cycle has been broken.
Effects of Mormonism gone,
The weight of such a burden.
Rejoice, all those who turn away,
Rejoice your extrication.
Begins anew this happy day
Of final disconnection.

2. The Mormon Church is built on lies,
Duplicity its story.
So clearly it is just a fraud,
But I believed it blindly
Until I opened up my eyes
And saw the truth unfolding.
No compromise for such a sham,
Deception overflowing.

© Diane Tingen
7/26/2015

STUCK IN DENIAL - LDS Hymn Parody #116

Looking back, I am amazed at how long I hung in there, even when all the signs were pointing to the fact that the teachings and doctrines of the Mormon Church are completely bogus.  Of course, a large part of the reason for me adopting that stance was the Mormon Church's mantra that basically tells its members that if they are doubting certain teachings and doctrines of Mormonism, they need to be more humble, pray more, read the scriptures more, and attend church more - and then whatever doubts they are having will disappear.  In other words, you are the problem, not Mormonism.

Of course, this warped logic is pounded into every member's head, either consciously or subconsciously, to the point where their brains decide that going along is better than the alternatives.  And so they become STUCK IN DENIAL, grasping at straws and sticking their hands in the sand in order to avoid actually confronting the inherent problem, which is that upon actual examination, it becomes apparent that Mormonism is a total fraud.

One of the places where this Mormon mantra has been captured in scriptural terms via the Book of Mormon is in Moroni 10: 4-5, which says: 

4. And when we shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 

So right there, in scriptural form, everyone is told exactly how it is, in no uncertain terms.  Basically what this scripture is telling us is that if we do not get the manifestation that "these things are true," then it is because (1) we didn't ask with a sincere heart; (2) didn't have real intent; or (3) don't have sufficient faith in Christ.  Of course, this philosophy has parlayed itself into all things Mormon, and not just the Book of Mormon itself. 

Being "Stuck in Denial" is not a pleasant place to be. Denial certainly isn't productive.  Someone who is in denial basically accepts things as they are presented without delving into any foundation, background or basis for those teachings.  They accept whatever explanation is given - or not given - as the gospel truth.  They dare not scratch the surface to reveal anything underneath.  And they naively believe that those telling them "how it is" have no ulterior motives. 

When I finally extricated myself from the grasp of denial, I realized that I had been blindly following a bogus religion for my entire life. Not an easy thing to admit. When I finally was able to muster the strength to actually leave Mormonism behind, I finally felt free not only from the exhausting mental gymnastics I had been playing for so long but from the grasp of DENIAL itself.

So here is my 116th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the state of DENIAL in which every Mormon has to dwell in order to continue to accept the obviously bogus tenets of Mormonism.  

STUCK IN DENIAL

Sung to the tune of Faith of Our Fathers – #84

1. Stuck in denial, clinging still

In spite of signals, proof and fact.
Oh, how their minds reject details
When with the truth they interact.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

2. Stuck in denial, nothing learned
When just believing what they say.
And through the truth, you will be free
From all the games the Mormons play.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

3. Stuck in denial nevermore,
Finally saw through the web of lies.
So many years, just went along,
But now there is no compromise.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

© Diane Tingen

7/16/2015

THE 15 MORMON MEN WHO CALL THE SHOTS - LDS Hymn Parody #115

With yesterday's passing of Boyd K. Packer, I'm sure I'm not the only who is relieved that he won't be able to spread his unique brand of toxicity anymore.  But even aside from that perk, his passing has reminded me not only of all the horrible things he said during his many years on the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Mormon Church, but also the tenor and substance of the Top 15 General Authorities overall.  The fact is, this is a group of 15 elderly men who are completely out-of-touch with reality. They spew venom regularly and single out groups of people who they deem to be sinners and pass judgment on them. 

In an article that appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune on March 3, 2015, it was pointed out that
80 is the average age of the Top 15.  Just look at these ages:*

FIRST PRESIDENCY:

     Thomas S. Monson - 87.53 years

     Henry B. Eyring - 81.75 years

     Dieter F. Uchtdorf - 74.32 years

QUORUM OF THE TWELVE APOSTLES:

     Boyd K. Packer - 90.48 years (dec'd 7/3/2015)

     L. Tom Perry - 92.57 years (dec'd 5/30/2015)

     Russell M. Nelson - 90.48 years

     Dallin H. Oaks - 82.55 years

     M. Russell Ballard - 86.40 years

     Richard G. Scott - 86.32 years

     Robert D. Hales - 82.52 years

     Jeffrey R. Holland - 74.25 years

     David A. Bednar - 62.71 years

     Quentin L. Cook - 74.48 years

     D. Todd Christofferson - 70.10 years

     Neil L. Andersen - 63.56 years

*This list was from March 2015, so they are even older now.

In my opinion, that's a horrifying list - and not just because of their advanced ages.  Even aside from that obvious fact, the bottom line is that they are completely out-of touch and apparently refuse to see that they are increasingly alienating people with every passing day.  Sadly, even removing Boyd K. Packer from the group doesn't make it any more palatable. 

It should be interesting to see who BKP's replacement will be.  As far as I've been able to find, they haven't replaced L. Tom Perry yet.  But then, there are so many potential douchebags to choose from that I'm sure it's a hard decision for "the Lord" to make...

Of course, BKP was his own special brand of horrible and awful.  The ridiculous quotes are endless. Like when he said, "Some things that are true are not very useful."  Through this philosophy, he tried to whitewash not only the sordid history of the Mormon Church but also is bogus doctrines.  And of course there's the horrible things he said about gays and gay marriage.  So glad he lived long enough to see the Supreme Court make gay marriage legal in all 50 states!!  Maybe that was what finally put him over the edge...

And of course, since I'm of the firm belief that the Mormon Church is a total fraud, was a hoax from the beginning, is replete with deceptive doctrine, and is filled with lies made up by Joseph Smith, it's very clear to me that the Top 15 are perpetuating those lies for their own purposes.  They have all made a career out of "hocking" the Mormon Church, and most of them sit on various Boards of companies that make them a lot of money (such as Beneficial Life).  To publicly admit that they know it's a fraud would be financial death for them.  And God forbid they should have any degree of honesty and integrity. 

So here's my latest LDS hymn parody, dedicated to The 15 Mormon Men who deem themselves to be holier-than-thou, spout their venomous and condescending views at every opportunity they are given, and guard the Mormon Party Line (and their pocketbooks) with their very lives.

THE 15 MORMON MEN WHO CALL THE SHOTS TODAY

Sung to the tune of An Angel from on High - #13

The 15 Mormon Men

Who call the shots today
Are really just a joke
With all the games they play.
Enforcing laws and making rules
When they are just a bunch of tools.
Enforcing laws and making rules
When they are just a bunch of tools.

There’s Monson and Uchtdorf,
And Eyring at the top.
With others in the Twelve,
A truly a frightful crop.
They’re out of touch and very old,
Their hands and hearts extremely cold.
They’re out of touch and very old,
Their hands and hearts extremely cold.

It’s very clear to see
That all the 15 men
Know surely it’s a fraud
But they all say Amen.
They spew the Mormon Party Line
As truthfulness they redefine.
They spew the Mormon Party Line
As truthfulness they redefine.

With Boyd K. Packer gone,
His reign of terror through.
A truly dreadful man
Who ugliness would spew.
And all the awful things he said,
His legacy now that he’s dead.
And all the awful things he said,
His legacy now that he’s dead.

But in the Mormon Church,
Such venom is revered.
And those like BKP
Are not considered weird.
And so the others follow course,
And ride the same old tired horse.
And so the others follow course,
And ride the same old tired horse.

© Diane Tingen
7/4/2015

RESEARCHING ON GOOGLE - LDS Hymn Parody #114

Lately, I seem to be on a Google kick more than ever. I just posted a song parody that I wrote based on a classic Eagles song (Lyin' Ways) that references Google, and now I've written a new LDS hymn parody about researching on Google. Of course, the fact that Google is so incredibly awesome is the reason I promote it so much. Truly, a person can find just about anything on Google... and it sure helps with researching difficult questions.

With advent of the internet and the invention of Google (as well as other search engines), it has become very difficult for certain truths to be covered up and hidden (as they were in the past). Looking back at my 52 years in the Mormon Church, I really wish there had been Google way back when. It really would have helped and would have made it so much easier to find out the reality of the sordid history of the Mormon Church and its bogus doctrines. Perhaps I would have left the church even earlier...

Of course, there are those who want people to think that Google doesn't have all the answers. Such as religions and churches (and cults). Google is a gateway to true knowledge, though, whether or not religious leaders want to admit that. After all, it isn't Google itself that has the answers - it just gives people places to look to provide answers to questions that are perplexing them. In my opinion, that's a VERY good thing.

So thank you, Google, for providing questioning people with so many avenues to explore and find answers. You really are awesome!! 

RESEARCHING ON GOOGLE

Sung to the tune of Redeemer of Israel – #6

Researching on Google,
The internet age,
On whom for true knowledge we call.

The evidence shown
By the all-knowing sage,
Through you, we uncover it all.

We know you are showing
The truth to us all,
And our lives are much better now.
No longer we’re banging
Our heads on the wall,

So here at our keyboards we bow.

How long we have wondered
Why we just believed
In the Mormon Church for so long.
But through our research
We’re no longer deceived,
By using your engine so strong.

As users of Google,
Good findings for us,
The benefits offered are clear.
Whatever we seek,
You’re a total genius,
To Google, we give a big cheer!!!

© Diane Tingen, 6/16/2015

SMART WOMAN!!

THE EVIDENCE IS THERE - LDS Hymn Parody #113

Here is another LDS Hymn Parody - my 113th.  I'm not sure how many more I'm going to able to write since I've done so many of the familiar ones already.  But I'm going to keep going until I run out of steam. After all, they're just asking for it...

This hymn parody is entitled THE EVIDENCE IS THERE - and it truly is.  Mountains of evidence against the Mormon Church being true.  Facts galore supporting my hypothesis that Mormonism is completely bogus. Again, I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but so be it.  I have cited the evidence over and over in this blog - and it is available in many sources.  Google is a good start. Accepting anything that you're told to believe without doing your own research is not wise. Critical thinking is tantamount to forming a person's own opinions and basing them on actual facts, not blind faith and a admonition to "just believe."  Really, THE EVIDENCE IS THERE - if Mormons would pay attention to it rather than simply buying the party line.

The original hymn (An Angel from on High) was written by Parley P. Pratt (1807-1857) who was, in my opinion, one of the biggest sleazes in the early days of the Mormon Church as well as one of the biggest perpetrators of the lies that encompass Mormonism.  He was also one of the men who participated in both Polygamy and Polyandry.  In fact, he was murdered in 1857 by Hector McLean, the estranged husband of his 12th wife (Eleanor McLean) (estranged meaning they weren't divorced, so it was a polyandrous marriage). 

There is a lot of information about Parley P. Pratt on the internet.  Some people call him a religious martyr, and Brigham Young apparently thought of him in that category along with Joseph Smith and Hyrum Smith, both of whom died in Carthage Jail.  But in my opinion, calling him a religious martyr is ridiculous.  Having been murdered by the estranged husband of a woman he had married and had helped to keep her children from their father does not make him a martyr.  In fact, Hector McLean pressed criminal charges against Parley P. Pratt, saying that he had aided Eleanor in the kidnapping of his children. The result of the subsequent trial (in Arkansas) was an acquittal due to lack of evidence. Shortly after his release, Pratt was shot and stabbed by Hector (on May 13, 1957) on a farm northeast of Van Buren, Arkansas.  Some writings, though, say that Hector was aided in the killing by at least two other men.  They have been otherwise characterized as "a small Arkansas band antagonistic toward Pratt's teachings," which in my opinion is a total fabrication designed by the Mormon faction.

From what I've read, Pratt's death may have also played a part in events that lead up to the Mountain Meadows Massacre a few months later.  There were a number of people in the party who were from Arkansas, and it was rumored that some present had participated in Pratt's murder.  Apparently, in this way members of the Mormon Church rationalized out the horrendous circumstances of the Mountain Meadows Massacre.

Interestingly, Parley P. Pratt was the great-great-grandfather of Mitt Romney, and the great-great-great grandfather of Jon Huntsman.  As mentioned above, Pratt practiced plural marriage and had 12 wives, 30 children, and 266 grandchildren.  In 2011, Pratt's living descendants were estimated to number between 30,000 and 50,000.

So much for background.  Here's my 113th LDS Hymn Parody.  My advice to TBMs is that the evidence really is there, so at least look at it - and consider it.  Really, a little bit of critical thinking goes a long way...

THE EVIDENCE IS THERE

Sung to the tune of An Angel from on High - #13

The evidence is there,
The facts are clear to see,
And no amount of prayer
Can change its history.
No, Mormonism is not true,
It was made up by Joseph Smith.
No, Mormonism is not true,
It was made up by Joseph Smith.

When I began to doubt
And question what they say,
I had to check it out,
And all the details weigh.
So as I researched carefully,
The lies were very clear to me.
So as I researched carefully,
The lies were very clear to me.

The lies are laced throughout,
Deception to the core.
There really is no doubt,
That’s why I closed the door.
They say have faith and just believe,
But all the while they do deceive.
They say have faith and just believe,
But all the while they do deceive.

No matter what they say,
It is a stack of lies.
And so I walked away,
With truth no compromise.
On Mormonism closed the door,
Deception I cannot ignore.
On Mormonism closed the door,
Deception I cannot ignore.

© Diane Tingen, 5/6/2015

COME YE MORMONS, FALL IN LINE - LDS Hymn Parody #112

Once again, I'm sure I sound like a broken record - but that doesn't stop me from reiterating my view over and over again.  Really, the fact that there is so more information out there that refutes what the Mormon Church holds out to be true and yet so many people are still adhering to its doctrines (apparently overlooking all the facts and evidence) that I feel none of it can be said too much.

And so I go on, posting blogs, writing LDS hymn parodies, and parodying various songs, all with the hope that some of it strikes a chord with those who are either fully entrenched in Mormonism or investigating the Mormon Church.

So here is my latest attempt at unveiling the truth about Mormonism, in the form of another LDS Hymn Parody - my 112th.  This one is about the Mormon Church wanting everyone to simply fall in line and not question anything.  Of course, the danger of falling in line, without question, is following blindly, sometimes into dangerous territory (or right off the proverbial cliff).

COME YE MORMONS, FALL IN LINE

Sung to the tune of Come,Ye Children of the Lord – #58

Come ye Mormons, fall in line,
Just accept what we define.
Do not question what is said,
We will think for you instead.
Simply follow what we say,
Don’t let facts get in your way.

All we teach is good and true,
Just believe the Mormon view.

Oh, how simple it will be
When you follow mindlessly.
Research on the internet
Not allowed, don’t you forget.
Those who talk of evidence
Saying that it makes no sense,
Speak of facts and say we lie,
But their claims we do decry.

Anti-Mormon, all of it,
Saying we are counterfeit.
Vilify our history,
Bringing up polygamy.
Calling Joseph Smith a con,
As they ramble on and on.
They condemn our prophet dear,
Don’t believe a word you hear.

Stay in line and argue not,
In their web, do not get caught.
Just have faith and go along,
We will never steer you wrong.
Mormonism is the way,
Read your scriptures, always pray.
Guard against those who attack,
We will always have your back.

© Diane Tingen, 4/30/2015

COUNTERFEIT, A TOTAL SCAM - LDS Hymn Parody #111

Today is Easter Sunday - and it is also the Mormon Church's 185th Semi-Annual General Conference in Salt Lake City.  In the Christian World, Easter is a very sacred day - but in the Mormon World, it is apparently a day to condemn and attack.  So far, there have been numerous different Conference speeches that have mentioned "real families" consisting of a marriage of only one man and one woman.  Apparently, L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve stressed the importance of opposing homosexuality, and also said, "We want our voice to be heard against all of the counterfeit and alternative lifestyles that try to replace the family organization that God Himself established."

Wow.  Counterfeit?  Obviously a case of the pot calling the kettle black.  The Mormon Church was founded by a man who, during his tenure as President and Prophet of that bogus organization, married at least 33 women, including 11 teenage girls and 10 women who were already married to living husbands - and he constantly lied about it.  Of course, after that man's death, another man took over his legacy and upped him considerably, marrying 55 women. Just how "Counterfeit" can you get?  After researching the sordid history of the Mormon Church and examining its "doctrines," it is clear to me that Mormonism is not only counterfeit, but also a scam, a fraud, and a totally bogus religious organization.

The dictionary defines "counterfeit" as:  "an imitation intended to be passed off fraudulently or deceptively as genuine; forgery."  In my opinion, that is exactly what Joseph Smith did when he founded Mormonism - created a bogus organization which he passed off fraudulently and deceptive as genuine. 

The Mormon Church never ceases to amaze me.  "Judge not, lest ye be judged" obviously means nothing to them.  "Live and let live" is also a lost concept.  The Mormon Church's hardline stance against gay and lesbians has caused massive damage to the psyches of so many gay Mormons, to the point of many committing suicide.  And yet they continue to berate and attempt to demean those individuals.  Not Christ-like at all.

And so, here is my 111th LDS hymn parody, set to the Easter-themed hymn, "He is Risen."

COUNTERFEIT, A TOTAL SCAM

Sung to the tune of He is Risen -#199

Mormonism, Mormonism,
Feel the love in all they say.
They condemn and spout their venom
At "apostates" every day.
Yet they say in solemn voice,
Praise the Lord, let us rejoice.

Christ-like love is touted loudly,
Loving everyone alike.
Yet their words are very empty
As they criticize and strike.
Such self-righteous hypocrites,
Calling others counterfeits.

Mormonism, Mormonism,
Counterfeit, a total scam.
Its true nature, hard to fathom,
But they just don’t give a damn.
As they talk on Easter Day,
It’s not love that they display.

© Diane Tingen, 4/5/2015