I KNOW THAT IT'S FILLED WITH DECEPTION - LDS Hymn Parody #76

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody... #76.  Writing a parody of "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" has been on my "to do" list for quite a while now.  Naturally, since I was born and raised Mormon, I remember singing it innumerable times over the years.  In fact, I even remember singing it during general conference in the Conference Center when it was still fairly new.  Of course, it has been sung at most general conferences since it was published in 1863 - and has been sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir many, many times (and is included on several of their albums, including an album entitled "Praise to the Man," which includes many hymns honoring "the Prophet" Joseph Smith). 
  
Since I no longer believe that the Mormon Church is led by a living Prophet (just as I don't believe that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God or "the Prophet of the Restoration" as Mormons refer to him), it gave me great satisfaction to write this new version.  As this hymn parody says, I KNOW THAT IT'S FILLED WITH DECEPTION, and I'm so thankful for that knowledge.  When I was questioning and as the conflicts I felt inside began to diminish, I began to feel a peace, joy and tranquility that permeated my life and finally made me happy.  After years of struggling, trying to "just believe" and accept it all with faith, I finally came to the conclusion that I was living in denial - that I was clinging to religion that was built on a stack of lies that made no sense.  It was such a relief to finally reach that point.  And so I bid Mormonism adieu - and I have never regretted that decision.  As the last line of this hymn parody says, "I could not continue to follow religion that works to deceive."

I KNOW THAT IT’S FILLED WITH DECEPTION

Sung to the tune of We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet - #19

I know that it’s filled with deception,
So clear from the research I’ve done.
Examining all of the doctrine,
I know that of truth there is none.
In going through its sordid history,
The facts that they try to disguise,
I fully reject Mormonism
Because it is nothing but lies.

I know Joseph Smith was a shyster,
Who made up an enormous fraud
By claiming that he was a Prophet,
And saying that he had seen God.
By researching, it is apparent
That none of what he said was true,
And what others say in the present
Are lies they continue to spew.

I'm thankful that I know the truth now,
Tranquility fills me inside.
Resolved are the conflicts that plagued me,
A joyousness I cannot hide.
And though I am labelled apostate
By Mormons who blindly believe,
I could not continue to follow
Religion that works to deceive.

© Diane Tingen, 11/30/12

OH WINTER NIGHT - Another Alternate Carol

OK, here's another alternate Carol for the Holidays... "Oh Winter Night" (sung to the tune of O Holy Night).  Since this Carol isn't in the LDS Hymn Book, it can't be called an LDS Hymn Parody, but I'm adding it here anyway although I'm not going to add it to the listing of actual hymn parodies. 

This version was inspired by a comment by someone in the ExMormon Facebook group that I mentioned yesterday (when I posted my version of Silent Night), who said that he would appreciate it if I could write secular words to O Holy Night since it is his favorite and it is "just too damn religious" (with which I have to agree). 

To me, there is a huge distinction between being "religious" and "spiritual."  My version of this Carol dwells on love and the beauty of nature.  A person doesn't have to be spiritual, or even believe in God, to appreciate the beauty in the world and the wonder of nature.  Whether the world was created by God or is the result of the "Big Bang" doesn't matter to me.  It is awesome and beautiful no matter how it came to be.

OH WINTER NIGHT

Sung to the tune of O Holy Night

Oh Winter Night, the stars are shining brightly,
The falling snow lay in drifts on the ground.
Everything white in its glistening glory,
Majestic scene, picturesque and profound.
In Wintertime, the world is cold and icy,
So beautiful, a frozen wonderland.
Gaze on the world, and view all of its beauty,
In awe, serene, so infinite and grand.
Oh night, oh Winter Night, oh night serene.

Beauty infused in every waking moment,
With glowing hearts we rejoice every day.
Life is a gift so cherish every remnant,
Treasure each breath and don’t ever dismay.
In Wintertime, the world in solemn slumber,
Is draped in snow, magnificent and white.
Sing and rejoice, let's celebrate in Winter,
Behold the world, reflect on every sight,
And fill your heart with joy forevermore.

© Diane Tingen
11/29/12

SILENT NIGHT, PEACEFUL NIGHT - LDS Hymn Parody #75

Can't believe the 2012 Holiday Season is upon us!!  Recently, Jean Bodie posted something in an ExMormom Facebook group about needing alternate words to "Silent Night," because she can't choke out "Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child" anymore.  So of course, my brain cells started churning, and below is the result.

Of course, since this "Carol" is in the LDS Hymn Book, I'm including this one in my ExMormon Hymn Book and counting it toward my goal - which, with this one, I have now reached since this is #75.  Of course, since I have already have ideas for others to write, I'm going to just keep going until I totally run out of concepts.  There are a few other Holiday Songs for which I am going to attempt writing new words, including "O Holy Night" (since someone else in that Facebook group said that he would appreciate it if I could write secular words to that one since it is his favorite and it is "just too damn religious").  So stay tuned for that one... and some others...

And now, without further ado, here is my version of Silent Night (and there's not a virgin in sight)...

SILENT NIGHT
Sung to the tune of Silent Night, #204

Silent night, peaceful night,
All the world, draped in white,
Drifted snow all over the ground,
Such serenity, nary a sound,
Fills my spirit with love,
Fills my spirit with love.

Silent night, peaceful night,
As I gaze, such a sight.

Peacefulness is filling my soul,

Love surrounding me, making me whole.

As I stand here in awe,
As I stand here in awe.

Silent night, peaceful night,
Fills my heart with delight.
Fantasies play out in my mind,
Winter wonderland, beauty defined,
Pure tranquility now,
Pure tranquility now.

Diane Tingen
11/27/2012

WHEN I WAS QUESTIONING - LDS Hymn Parody #74

Looking back on the days when I was questioning whether what the Mormon Church teaches is true, I remember many moments when my gut feelings were that it is not.  But I continued to struggle with my conflicted feelings, wondering if I was misunderstanding the history and doctrine.  After all, I had been conditioned my entire life to just go along.  So in essence, my feelings of possible inadequacy were placed inside my psyche by Mormonism over the years.  They wanted me to think that it was all me.  They wanted me to think that I simply didn't have enough faith or wasn't "righteous enough" to fully comprehend the meaning behind it all.  Of course, that's how the Mormon Church traps people.  They work hard to make people think that if they try harder, pray more, read their scriptures more, attend church more, etc., etc., ad nauseum, then they will understand it all and it will all make sense.

But alas, that didn't work for me.  I continued to feel conflicted until I began to research it independently, and after a while, I realized that it is actually a fraud.  It wasn't me or my lack of faith that created the questioning inside me - it was the sordid history, doctrine and tenets of the Mormon Church.  The Mormons choose to believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God in spite of the facts and evidence against that assertion.  They choose to believe that Joseph Smith "restored the everlasting gospel to the earth" although the facts and evidence demonstrate otherwise.  To me, when the facts and evidence are against something that a person continues to insist is true, they are not demonstrating faith, but rather denial.  And as far as I'm concerned, TBMs  (true believing Mormons) are steeped in denial, big time.

Realizing that I had been lied to my entire life was a very painful revelation, but it is one for which I am very grateful - and I am very thankful that I will not be spending the rest of my entire life devoted to a religion that is obviously false.

My latest LDS hymn parody is set to the music for "Where Can I Turn for Peace?"  This used to be one of my favorite LDS hymns.  As I wrote this hymn parody, I kept thinking about the inner peace I found when I turned away from Mormonism.  No longer am I questioning.  My conflicted feelings have been replaced with a firm belief that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up - and others have spent many years perpetuating his lies for their own purposes.  I just wish TBMs would look at their religion with open minds, researching and examining its history and doctrine on their own, independent from the choke-hold that the Mormon Church imposes on its members.  Then, just maybe, they would come to the same conclusion as I did.

So here is my 74th Hymn Parody...

WHEN I WAS QUESTIONING
Sung to the tune of Where Can I Turn for Peace? #129

When I was questioning, looking for answers
To all the queries racing through my mind.
When with a wounded heart, seeing the errors,
I finally recognized, no truth I’d find.

The Mormon Church is filled with such deception,
When I examined it, I saw the lies.
Through sordid history to its false doctrine,
It is so clear to me, there’s no disguise.

I know that Joseph Smith was not a Prophet,
He simply made it up, that was his scheme.
He was a charlatan, there was no limit
To what he’d say or do, shyster supreme.

Why did I just believe in Mormonism
When it’s so obvious that it is a fraud?
Opened my mind and then, there was a schism,
I knew without a doubt, not Word of God.

© Diane Tingen, 11/20/2012

IT DOESN'T MATTER - LDS Hymn Parody #73

Here's my 73rd LDS hymn parody.  I seem to be on a roll again after a dry spell of a few months.  With this one, I've almost made it to my current goal of writing 75 LDS hymn parodies (although my goal will probably be upped when I reach #75).

This hymn parody is very self-explanatory.  Obviously, it just doesn't matter what the Mormons might say to me anymore.  I know it's not true, and there isn't anything that anyone could say that would change my mind.  In fact, I feel so much more secure in my knowledge of its falsehood now than I ever did of its truthfulness when I was an active Mormon.  Back then, I thought that it was true and I just didn't understand certain things.  I blamed myself for my lack of certainty, and thought that I simply wasn't righteous enough or worthy enough to comprehend it all and didn't have enough faith.  Now, though, I know that's not the case.  I KNOW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT JOSEPH SMITH MADE THE WHOLE THING UP.  Right from the get-go.  It is very obviously a fraud, a sham, and a hoax hoisted on the world by a con artist named Joseph Smith and perpetuated by others ever since his death.  And for that knowledge, I am very grateful. 

IT DOESN'T MATTER
Sung to the tune of Though Deepening Trials, #122

It doesn't matter what they say,
I know it’s not the Word of God.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
The Mormon Church, a total fraud,

The Mormon Church, a total fraud.

They will not look with open eyes,
Follow along and just believe.
Clinging to faith, they say it’s true,
Simply not wise, and so naïve,
Simply not wise, and so naïve.

When I began my questioning,
It was not hard to see the lies.
History shows the sordid facts,
Open your eyes, there’s no disguise.
Open your eyes, there’s no disguise.

© Diane Tingen, 10/17/2012

COME, LET US REVIEW - LDS Hymn Parody #72

Here is my 72nd LDS Hymn Parody.  As in so many of my other hymn parodies, the theme of this new one is the deception and lies that Joseph Smith conjured up to form the basis and foundation of the Mormon Church, and the perpetuation of those lies since his time through to the present.  It also touches on another recurring theme - that many TBMs tend to simply accept everything they are told, regardless of any evidence against it all, and "just believe."  Otherwise known as the "Sheep" syndrome.

Recently, though, it has become clear me that more and more people are seeing through the lies and deciding to walk away.  The church leaders try to say that's not the case, and attempt to characterize the Mormon Church as the "fast-growing Christian religion in the world."  In my opinion, it is creative accounting that bolsters the statistics that they hold out.  But from what I have observed in various places on the internet (including many ExMormon and PostMormon type of groups on Facebook), there are more and more former sheep all the time who have seen the light and have decided that they, like me, can no longer live the lie.  For me, that is very reassuring.  As time goes on, I am certain that more and more Mormons will begin to "review the clues" that are so obvious to me now, and decide that life is too short and precious to continue to associate themselves with a religion that plays so fast and loose with the truth.  At least, I hope so...

COME, LET US REVIEW
Sung to the tune of Come, Let Us Anew #217

Come, let us review
Each obvious clue,
Discussing the lies
That they cover up
And attempt to disguise.
It is filled with deceit,
Many falsehoods replete.
But the Mormons believe,
Without thinking accept
All the lies that they weave.
Without thinking accept
All the lies that they weave.

They follow along
Although it is wrong,
And simply obey,
Their eyes fully shut,
As in darkness they stay.
But if they’d only look
Then they’d see what a crook
Joseph Smith really was.
And they might recognize
All the obvious flaws.
And they might recognize
All the obvious flaws.

The man they revere,
Their prophet and seer,
Created a fraud,
The gospel they teach
Is not the Word of God.
Joseph Smith was a con,
I could go on and on,
Mormonism untrue.
The deception is clear
So I bid it adieu.
The deception is clear
So I bid it adieu.

© Diane Tingen
10/8/2012

SO ENTRENCHED IN MORMONISM - LDS Hymn Parody #71

I've been thinking about how many people get so wrapped up in religion that they accept certain things blindly, without really looking at the background or even searching for the actual truth.  Blind faith is simply not wise.  Accepting religious principles without researching its subject matter is basically giving your own power away and allowing a religious organization to dictate what you believe.  As I've said before, having faith is all fine and good, but when a person ignores the actual facts and evidence, then it's not faith anymore but rather denial.

Sadly, that’s how it was for me within Mormonism.  Being born and raised Mormon, I just went along for many years, accepting what I was told to believe, not really looking at it with a critical eye or doing any independent research, away from the “accepted parameters.”  And even when I did discover something that didn't make sense to me, I tried to accept it anyway.  Denial - deep denial.  That mindset really irritates me now, and I wish I had become more intellectually curious when I was much younger so that I could have found the actual facts while I was in my youth.

I'm so grateful that I finally began doing my own independent research.  Of course, anyone who does that is bound to find the same sort of facts and evidence.  But sadly, some people cling to it anyway, trying to rationalize it all out in their minds.  I did that for quite a while, but in the end, that was no longer an option for me.  The actual truth is what's important to me, and once I knew without any doubt that the Mormon Church is actually a fraud, that was the absolute end.

Entrenched once, but no more... and the biggest reward is living my life authentically.

With that said, here is my 71st LDS Hymn Parody...

SO ENTRENCHED IN MORMONISM

Sung to the tune of O Thou Rock of our Salvation, #258

So entrenched in Mormonism,
They refuse to see the lies.
Close the eyes and just believe it,
Blind acceptance is not wise.
What I found when I did research
Made me finally face the truth.
Wish that I had questioned sooner,
Found the facts while in my youth.

Born and raised in Mormonism,
I believed what I was taught.
It took years for me to see it,
In denial I was caught.
What I found when I did research
Made me finally face the truth.
Wish that I had questioned sooner,
Found the facts while in my youth.

Now I know that Mormonism
Was made up by Joseph Smith.
Not an ounce of truth to speak of,
It is nothing but a myth.
When I found when I did research
Made me finally face the truth.
Wish that I had questioned sooner,
Found the facts while in my youth.

So apparent all their tactics,
How they brainwash and persuade.
Make the members scared to research,
What a price they all have paid.
In the end, I hope they see it,
For the truth will set them free.
Just as it has done in my life,
As I live authentically.

Diane Tingen, 7/22/2012

HOW GREAT THE SWINDLE AND THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #70





Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 70th so far.  It's hard for me to believe I've written that many, but once I got started I haven't been able to stop.  Writing these LDS Hymn Parodies is very cathartic for me - perhaps because I've always loved music and used to be very involved in music when I was an active Mormon.  Over the years, I held callings as the Ward Organist, Choir Director, Relief Society Music Director and Pianist, Primary Chorister and Pianist, as well as singing solos and duets in Sacrament Meeting and in the Choir. 

I grew up singing LDS hymns, and was obviously indoctrinated in many ways because of that.  With so many LDS hymns still swimming around in my head, it's nice to have new lyrics to sing to them.

So here is my 70th LDS Hymn Parody.  Very self-explanatory, so I won't go into a big description of its contents.  I hope you enjoy reading them (and singing them) as much as I enjoy writing them...

HOW GREAT THE SWINDLE AND THE LIES
Sung to the tune of How Great the Wisdom and the Love, #195

How great the swindle and the lies
That fill the Mormon Church.
So clear to me when I began
To do my own research.

It’s clear that Joseph made it up,
Just spun a web of lies.
And yet the members go along
Though logic it decries.

The history of the Mormon Church
Is sordid through and through.
And when I finally looked at it,
I knew it wasn’t true.

Why don’t the Mormons question it?
Why do they close their eyes
As blindly they accept it all?
It simply is not wise.

But sadly there are many who
Refuse to look beyond
What they are told to just believe,
Not knowing they’ve been conned.

I hope that more will see the lies,
And realize the truth.
To live their lives authentically
While they are in their youth.

© Diane Tingen, 7/8/2012

OH, DECEPTION - LDS Hymn Parody #69

OK, I know... I've turned into a broken record (again).  Sometimes I get tired of hearing myself ramble on and on about how the Mormon Church is nothing but a stack of lies - that it is pure deception.  But only sometimes.  The rest of the time I simply want to have my voice be heard - and I hope that by speaking out, people will be compelled to do their own research, to look behind the curtain and finally see the Wizard.  And once they do that, then hopefully they will realize that the deception ala Mormonism runs very deep - and do something about it.

In November 2011, I wrote an LDS Hymn Parody that goes along with this theme.  In that post, I said:

Short and to the point.  Just like the original LDS hymn/children's song -
at least in its length, but obviously not in its point.

WHY THE DECEPTION?
Sung to the tune of Keep the Commandments, #303

Why the deception?  Why the deception?
The lies are apparent, of this I am sure.
Look at the history, look at the history,
Ugly and sordid, why the deception?
The lies are apparent for sure.

© Diane Tingen, 11/29/2011

My latest LDS Hymn Parody expands on this theme.  Actually, this new one is set to one of my favorite LDS Hymns of all time - O My Father.  This hymn (the lyrics to which were written by Eliza R. Snow) is famous for speaking of Mother in Heaven.  Perhaps that's why I always liked it so much.  My feminist side coming out, way back then.

I remember not only singing this hymn in church, but also at funerals.  In fact, I think it was sung at my mother's funeral in 1977... back when I was still very TBM and still just going along.  The research that led me to realize the truth had not yet begun.  I had a lot of questions back then, but rather than doing independent research to obtain the answers, I simply adhered to The Mormon Way by believing what they told me - basically, that if I didn't understand certain things, then it was a failing within me.  The message that was given to me was that in order to get the answer to my questions, I needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, attend meetings regularly, and adhere to the gospel.  You know, the ol' it's you not them mindset.  If there is anything wrong, it couldn't possibly be that the church is wrong, so it must be that you are not worthy enough.  Of course, I was also given the message that we cannot understand everything in this life, but that if we endure to the end, it will all be made known to us and then we will know that it was worth it.  With that rhetoric, the Mormons basically cover all the bases, don't you think?

The truth is apparent to me now, but that clarity wasn't obtained from doing all that "they" said I needed to do.  Instead, the clarity I gained was from opening my mind and doing some actual independent research.  I stopped burying my head in the sand - and also followed a famous "Mormon" scripture (James 1:5) - slightly revised:

So here is my latest LDS Hymn Parody... #69... and counting... 

 

OH, DECEPTION
Sung to the tune of O My Father, #292

Oh, Deception, laced throughout it,
Conjured up by Joseph Smith.
He created Mormonism,
Just a hoax, enormous myth.
He convinced them all to follow
Saying he was called of God.
But in truth, he was a shyster,
And the church is just a fraud.

I was born and raised a Mormon,
All my life, I just believed.
Went along with what they taught me,
But I found, I’d been deceived.

When I looked, it was apparent,
All the lies that Joseph told.
Plagiarized the Book of Mormon,
Not obtained from plates of gold.

Mormonism, pure deception,
Not an ounce of truth within.
It is clear when it is studied
How untrue the tales they spin.
But it’s sad that many listen,
Buy it all and just believe.
Unaware of the deception,
And of all the lies they weave.

If they’d only do some research
On their own, then they might see
All the lies, the clear deception
That’s employed, so visibly.
Common sense is sorely needed,
Nothing in it is from God.
It is not the true religion,
But instead, a blank façade.

© Diane Tingen, 6/13/2012